(no subject)
I've also decided that if I'm not better on my own significantly then now. I haven't slept. My body is refusing it. It has to be dangerous at this point. I woke up on Wed 10pm. It is now Friday 3:14am...I'm being punished for stupid decisions. I snapped under high stress and let this monster control my every movement, almost my every thought. I'm seeing my doctor on Tueday, completely clean. I've been clean since Monday. And I will tell you, it's been hell. I'm never doing this again. Letting this spin out of control. But the pain inside is what I'm most worried about. Gary took advantage of me when I was intoxicated, twisted me to do his dirty work, so he appeared innocent,the parania set in and he'd look straight faced and say calmly I don't know what your talking about. Even now, he is poking at me, saying little things to piss me off, saying I need help I'm an addict, etc. Yea, NO SHIT