WHAT THE FUCK I CAN'T EVEN
This is unbelievable. I am pretty upset right now.
Eva came by, unannounced, to pick up some things. I had been planning on going by her place tonight anyway. But I have some things for her ready. She gives me shit about the plants, as if I've been fixing them up to keep them or some shit. She asks about the painting. I tell her honestly that I'd been thinking about it and regretted telling her that I'd give her the painting and that she'd guilted me into agreeing to. She says I owe her it and that it's the least I can do to repay her years of WHATTHEFUCKEVER relationships are give and take and we supported each other equally through years of many different situations. But she says she can't TRUST ME AS A HUMAN BEING NOW because I'm waffling on giving her one of my newest, largest paintings as a breakup gift. THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.
To change the subject I pull out the money I got for her, to pay out her half of the security deposit on the house and to pay her for the good things she left at the house ALSO KNOWN AS THE OLD SHIT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE- CHRIST KNOWS SHE TAKES THE THINGS SHE WANTS
I'm paying her for leaving behind a sofa she said was too loaded with sentimental value to take, but she INSISTS ON TAKING A PAINTING I MADE THAT FOR YEARS HUNG OVER THE BED WE SHARED. Stop me if you've heard this one before.
"how much is this?"
"$700, like I told you."
"what about the other $20 for your phone"
BUSTING MY BALLS OVER 20 BUCKS WITH 700 IN HAND. I lose patience and pull out a 20 and toss it at her. She gets mad, makes like she's leaving with her box, then slams it down on the table and starts rooting through it. Throws shit on the kitchen floor, smashes a resin dachshund I had 10 minutes earlier cleaned off for her to take. Hits me and shoves me. FUCK.
DECIDES SHE MUST HAVE HER HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA which FOR SOME FUCKING REASON she left in among some storage bins that I was gracious enough to store for her at my house. Barges into the studio, pulling out bins, throwing them around and making a mess. Says she'll send people to collect the bins because she can't trust me around them. good.
She starts gathering shit up, doing stupid shit like trying to one-hand a huge plant from atop the fridge. I help her gather her shit and put it in the car.
"what about the painting"
I hesitate. Fuck, I am so mad. Do I want to fight over this or get her the fuck away from me?
TAKE THE FUCKING PAINTING
LET SOME OTHER MOTHERFUCKER HANG IT
GET THE FUCK OUT
GODDAMN IT
ARRRRRAGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHH
she leaves not a goddamn minute too soon. I storm inside and lock the doors and draw the curtains and scream while stomping the living shit out of an ipod dock she threw on the kitchen floor.
Bathtime.
Eva came by, unannounced, to pick up some things. I had been planning on going by her place tonight anyway. But I have some things for her ready. She gives me shit about the plants, as if I've been fixing them up to keep them or some shit. She asks about the painting. I tell her honestly that I'd been thinking about it and regretted telling her that I'd give her the painting and that she'd guilted me into agreeing to. She says I owe her it and that it's the least I can do to repay her years of WHATTHEFUCKEVER relationships are give and take and we supported each other equally through years of many different situations. But she says she can't TRUST ME AS A HUMAN BEING NOW because I'm waffling on giving her one of my newest, largest paintings as a breakup gift. THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.
To change the subject I pull out the money I got for her, to pay out her half of the security deposit on the house and to pay her for the good things she left at the house ALSO KNOWN AS THE OLD SHIT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE- CHRIST KNOWS SHE TAKES THE THINGS SHE WANTS
I'm paying her for leaving behind a sofa she said was too loaded with sentimental value to take, but she INSISTS ON TAKING A PAINTING I MADE THAT FOR YEARS HUNG OVER THE BED WE SHARED. Stop me if you've heard this one before.
"how much is this?"
"$700, like I told you."
"what about the other $20 for your phone"
BUSTING MY BALLS OVER 20 BUCKS WITH 700 IN HAND. I lose patience and pull out a 20 and toss it at her. She gets mad, makes like she's leaving with her box, then slams it down on the table and starts rooting through it. Throws shit on the kitchen floor, smashes a resin dachshund I had 10 minutes earlier cleaned off for her to take. Hits me and shoves me. FUCK.
DECIDES SHE MUST HAVE HER HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA which FOR SOME FUCKING REASON she left in among some storage bins that I was gracious enough to store for her at my house. Barges into the studio, pulling out bins, throwing them around and making a mess. Says she'll send people to collect the bins because she can't trust me around them. good.
She starts gathering shit up, doing stupid shit like trying to one-hand a huge plant from atop the fridge. I help her gather her shit and put it in the car.
"what about the painting"
I hesitate. Fuck, I am so mad. Do I want to fight over this or get her the fuck away from me?
TAKE THE FUCKING PAINTING
LET SOME OTHER MOTHERFUCKER HANG IT
GET THE FUCK OUT
GODDAMN IT
ARRRRRAGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHH
she leaves not a goddamn minute too soon. I storm inside and lock the doors and draw the curtains and scream while stomping the living shit out of an ipod dock she threw on the kitchen floor.
Bathtime.