Fertile Soul
I've been reading a lot of Donald Miller lately, and by a lot--I mean his 3 books in 1: Blue Like Jazz, Searching for God Knows What, and Through Painted Deserts. Ironically, I was disappointed to find out that he looks nothing like Chuck Klostermann. I'm having a hard time with that.
After beginning Through Painted Deserts, I underlined this: "I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die."
I agree that everyone should leave home at least once because change leads to growth...and God did not make us to be stagnant. I've already left home--many times--and before graduation, I thought that Dallas was where I would "settle" down. I was back home for 2 weeks before I launched out on a tour of the U.S. and while I miss my mom and my step-dad and my siblings and my nieces and nephews, I do not miss Dallas. Don't get me wrong, I was born and raised in Dallas and I defend it like a brother. I can talk trash about Dallas whenever I want, but YOU cannot. Because you don't even know Dallas the way I do.
But maybe Dallas and I should not live together anymore. Maybe we should visit eachother on holidays and get reacquainted and love eachother from afar. Fact of the matter is, I will live in Dallas for at least 6 months more because I have Holly's bachelorette party, her wedding, Becky's birthday, my 10-year reunion, the Geiger reunion, Thanksgiving and Christmas, 2 court dates, and Election Day. Flying back and forth from some other city does not appear to be a reasonable option.
At any rate, I will be moving to another city at some point within the next year because I want to be a flight attendant and once gas prices go down, I am fully confident that my desire will be fulfilled. Until then, I have planned a trip to the Dominican Republic in November through Adventures in Missions. It's not set in stone by any means, but for years now I've felt that God was calling me to missions and I haven't exactly ventured in that direction. I think that it's time now to test the waters. I love Jesus and I love talking about God's love, especially since for the first time in my life I feel that I have some kind of grasp on it, but I don't trust myself to lead people to Christ. I guess, the truth of the matter is, I'm lacking in trust with God because obviously I just have to let Him use me. There's nothing I can do to save anyone--but that's no excuse for me to shut God out in that area. I've seen Him use me in those rare moments that I hear Him telling me to do something that could hurt my pride and I actually obey Him.
So, who knows where this trip could lead me. It may change my entire perspective on life. I hope it does because living for myself gets pretty old. And I know that there are a lot of things in me that need to die and I'm ready for my selfishness and pride to subside so that real work can be accomplished. I know in my heart that God has kept me single for a reason. And I'm ready to experience that reason.
After beginning Through Painted Deserts, I underlined this: "I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die."
I agree that everyone should leave home at least once because change leads to growth...and God did not make us to be stagnant. I've already left home--many times--and before graduation, I thought that Dallas was where I would "settle" down. I was back home for 2 weeks before I launched out on a tour of the U.S. and while I miss my mom and my step-dad and my siblings and my nieces and nephews, I do not miss Dallas. Don't get me wrong, I was born and raised in Dallas and I defend it like a brother. I can talk trash about Dallas whenever I want, but YOU cannot. Because you don't even know Dallas the way I do.
But maybe Dallas and I should not live together anymore. Maybe we should visit eachother on holidays and get reacquainted and love eachother from afar. Fact of the matter is, I will live in Dallas for at least 6 months more because I have Holly's bachelorette party, her wedding, Becky's birthday, my 10-year reunion, the Geiger reunion, Thanksgiving and Christmas, 2 court dates, and Election Day. Flying back and forth from some other city does not appear to be a reasonable option.
At any rate, I will be moving to another city at some point within the next year because I want to be a flight attendant and once gas prices go down, I am fully confident that my desire will be fulfilled. Until then, I have planned a trip to the Dominican Republic in November through Adventures in Missions. It's not set in stone by any means, but for years now I've felt that God was calling me to missions and I haven't exactly ventured in that direction. I think that it's time now to test the waters. I love Jesus and I love talking about God's love, especially since for the first time in my life I feel that I have some kind of grasp on it, but I don't trust myself to lead people to Christ. I guess, the truth of the matter is, I'm lacking in trust with God because obviously I just have to let Him use me. There's nothing I can do to save anyone--but that's no excuse for me to shut God out in that area. I've seen Him use me in those rare moments that I hear Him telling me to do something that could hurt my pride and I actually obey Him.
So, who knows where this trip could lead me. It may change my entire perspective on life. I hope it does because living for myself gets pretty old. And I know that there are a lot of things in me that need to die and I'm ready for my selfishness and pride to subside so that real work can be accomplished. I know in my heart that God has kept me single for a reason. And I'm ready to experience that reason.