seems to be a ranty day...
might as well join in...
first off let me just say that life, things in general are going pretty well...im happy and so much more at ease...sleeping less, excercising more, watching virtually no tv...not so much with the internet..im still in my moms basement, but its not going all that bad...
now....
i might be a little hormonal...maybe..likely, as this had me shedding all of 7 tears (which is pretty good...usually its about 4309749875)...one of the management peoples at work, well, i dont think ive ever really gotten along with her...weve maintained a pretty professional level, but there have definitely times when weve butted heads...i dont think shes really liked me from the beginning, nor have i been especially fond of her...her personality is dry, she is not very nice, friendly or...i dont know...and, once again it goes back to the fact that i see myself in some of the things she does, and how many times have i maintained that i firmly believe that people often dislike in others the very things they see in themselves.....i have to respect her because shes my superior...she does not offer me the same amount of respect, but she doesnt really have to...im just a staff nurse...i got virtually no raise this past year, 1% when some people got 4.5%...i think she largely contributed to that, because my boss boss had only been there since october...how could she possibly know enough of me to make any sort of judgement by march...impossible..i have gone so far as to sit down with her and ask her if she could give me some examples of things i might say that could potentially be taken the wrong way, or piss people off...occasionally she seems receptive to me, mostly its just like talking to a wall...one afternoon, a while back, she was making out the assignment for the oncoming shift and we had no aids...and i said 'are there none on the schedule or (i was about to continue with 'or did someone call off' ) but i couldnt finish before she snapped and said 'yeah, like i would make the schedule without any aids..thats the sort of stuff you say that pisses people off, i know you didnt mean it that way, but its just the way you say things sometimes' she was abrupt and that happened to be in front of people whether they were paying attention or not...i honestly dont remember...i do recall being pretty embarrassed regardless...and i apologized, and actually told her i appreciated her letting me know...even though i think she totally overreacted. so today, as i was passing my meds, there are certain things we need to have a witness for, one being insulin...so shes standing up and walking in my general direction (she was sitting at the desk at the tele monitors) and i said 'hey M.A, while your up, can you come do insulin with me?' and she was just like, you know, you can just say 'can you come do insulin, you dont have to say 'while youre up'...and it was just the way she said it...like, really, did you really feel that was something neccessary to say..did i offend you that much, rub you in such a way that you needed to just blurt that out? is that really something that should even piss you off?? again, i was a taken aback, and i just said quietly, but audibly, 'yeah, you know, i dont think i ever really know what to say to you, seems like im always saying something to piss you off..and also, some people dont seem to like to be bothered when theyre sitting down...' to which she replied 'o rly?' i felt my face flush beet red, and my eyes started to sting...i didnt shed my 7 tears until i relayed the exchange to a friend of mine...i dont know, am i being overly sensitive?? i try to be friendly with her at every opportunity. i have made a concerted effort to squelch some of my dry comments that are purely a part of my sense of humor but can be taken completely wrong...im taken the wrong way, so perhaps she is too...thing is, i dont believe this woman HAS a sense of humor....she can throw a dirty look like no other...*sigh* i dont fucking know...just needed to say.
first off let me just say that life, things in general are going pretty well...im happy and so much more at ease...sleeping less, excercising more, watching virtually no tv...not so much with the internet..im still in my moms basement, but its not going all that bad...
now....
i might be a little hormonal...maybe..likely, as this had me shedding all of 7 tears (which is pretty good...usually its about 4309749875)...one of the management peoples at work, well, i dont think ive ever really gotten along with her...weve maintained a pretty professional level, but there have definitely times when weve butted heads...i dont think shes really liked me from the beginning, nor have i been especially fond of her...her personality is dry, she is not very nice, friendly or...i dont know...and, once again it goes back to the fact that i see myself in some of the things she does, and how many times have i maintained that i firmly believe that people often dislike in others the very things they see in themselves.....i have to respect her because shes my superior...she does not offer me the same amount of respect, but she doesnt really have to...im just a staff nurse...i got virtually no raise this past year, 1% when some people got 4.5%...i think she largely contributed to that, because my boss boss had only been there since october...how could she possibly know enough of me to make any sort of judgement by march...impossible..i have gone so far as to sit down with her and ask her if she could give me some examples of things i might say that could potentially be taken the wrong way, or piss people off...occasionally she seems receptive to me, mostly its just like talking to a wall...one afternoon, a while back, she was making out the assignment for the oncoming shift and we had no aids...and i said 'are there none on the schedule or (i was about to continue with 'or did someone call off' ) but i couldnt finish before she snapped and said 'yeah, like i would make the schedule without any aids..thats the sort of stuff you say that pisses people off, i know you didnt mean it that way, but its just the way you say things sometimes' she was abrupt and that happened to be in front of people whether they were paying attention or not...i honestly dont remember...i do recall being pretty embarrassed regardless...and i apologized, and actually told her i appreciated her letting me know...even though i think she totally overreacted. so today, as i was passing my meds, there are certain things we need to have a witness for, one being insulin...so shes standing up and walking in my general direction (she was sitting at the desk at the tele monitors) and i said 'hey M.A, while your up, can you come do insulin with me?' and she was just like, you know, you can just say 'can you come do insulin, you dont have to say 'while youre up'...and it was just the way she said it...like, really, did you really feel that was something neccessary to say..did i offend you that much, rub you in such a way that you needed to just blurt that out? is that really something that should even piss you off?? again, i was a taken aback, and i just said quietly, but audibly, 'yeah, you know, i dont think i ever really know what to say to you, seems like im always saying something to piss you off..and also, some people dont seem to like to be bothered when theyre sitting down...' to which she replied 'o rly?' i felt my face flush beet red, and my eyes started to sting...i didnt shed my 7 tears until i relayed the exchange to a friend of mine...i dont know, am i being overly sensitive?? i try to be friendly with her at every opportunity. i have made a concerted effort to squelch some of my dry comments that are purely a part of my sense of humor but can be taken completely wrong...im taken the wrong way, so perhaps she is too...thing is, i dont believe this woman HAS a sense of humor....she can throw a dirty look like no other...*sigh* i dont fucking know...just needed to say.