(no subject)
last week ago or so i was walking the dogs..unlike the time years ago when my geriatric 44 lb gabe yanked after another dog and bloodied my knee leaving me with a hot hot scar, this time i ever so eloquently tripped over myself bloodying my knuckles on the pavement...at first it looked like they were healing nicely but the fact that one cant keep a bandaid on hands that get washed about a hundred times a day because A. no bandaid would stick, and B. more germs get stuck under there to begin with..theyre now painful, big and scabby future scarred up knuckles. my left ring finger and pinky, so i cant even conjure a story about being in a dark alley and beating down a mugger with my bare fists...one would think that air, which is what wounds need to heal, and keeping things clean would be just what they needed, but that would be too easy and
(il)logical...gloves on, gloves off, hand sanitizer, wash, rise and repeat...i think maybe the sanitizer might be a big character in this act..its crazy, but i think maybe we change in life as we grow older...10 years ago scars were cool man...battle wounds!!! a woman gets older and she just starts to look worn down with all those nooks and crannies in such conspicuous places...damn bony prominences...eh, it is what it is...ill just have to work on picking my feet higher when i walk...
i was a fight picking bitch while we were walking this weekend...the fun part about not being on hormones anymore is how you get thrown into a windowless room and have to leave it to your body clock to tell you what time it is totally not...cause your mind plays tricks on you, and i say, my mind is totally into trickery...*i interrupt my monologue by saying that i really love the auto save feature in the lj posting window...i almost lost this genius!* plus, its not like anything can be normal, and i can count weeks on a calendar...nooooooo...strangely, thankfully, these symptoms are more like asymptoms because lord knows the P to my MS was pretty debilitating for a large part of my life...heck, maybe ill be there again one day, but for now...we coo...
pharmaceutically speaking...its been a while since cymbalta and i started our dance...so far, no toes have been stepped on in the maxing of this cocktail...like...i baked cookies yesterday, and it was enjoyable, like it used to be...not a painfully tragic obligation that ive convinced myself wouldnt be that bad, until simply starting proved painful...no, i said, hey! im going to make cookies! and use frosting! and sprinkles! and it will be goooood! (and so are the cookies, ohhhh yeah!) and the cookies i baked are for a lady at work who just needs many many hugs...but hates them...so ill hug her with cookies with frosting and sprinkles! (thanks again angie for the recipe, theyre fantastic!) so, im feeling pretty alright, living life without dreading the fact that everytime i blink my eyes have to open back up again, unless something really drastic happens, but oh, thats just too much effort, and really not worth it to anyone who likes reading this crap...oh wait, thats me, one day ill read it and laugh :P
(do you ever hear the punctuation you use when you type in your head? when i use exclamation points, i hear jerry seinfeld. ellipses are too deadpan for every sentence use...funny, i usually talk without exclamation points...i save them for argumentative times. really amanda? the dichotomy of an exclamation point?!
im not manic, even though 1.5 cups of coffee, not enough sleep, and two sleepy dogs at my feet might make it sound like i am...my husband is not lucky enough to have a wife that ever gets manic..but yeah, i feel pretty ok on the psychotropic front..i thought i felt good with the lexapro, but im a newly firmed up believer that more seratonin is not neccessarily better in my realm...in fact, id like to cut that shit out altogether and just discourage dopamine and norepinephrin reuptake, but i think the P to my MS would then rear its ugly head and turn my world (and the furniture) back upside down. also, what ever it is that calms the overactive pain receptors is doing a great job, cause i havent had an episode of wake up with hand and arm pain since if started it...back and neck aches are no longer a way of life...
thinking a lot about karma lately, different concepts and ideas of the concept itself, and the episode of house im watching right now is allllll about the karma...even has it in the title!
what else..? honey crisp apples is what else! i swear, i wish it could be honey crisp apple season all year round...i wonder what makes them only autumn time delicious...eventually i am going to need to get my ass in gear and walk these dogs...i wanted to do interval training today as well, but i think that will have to wait till i get home tonite...i dont want to ruin my second day recycled cute spooky halloween headband hairdo from yesterday. ill sweat it out tonite instead...
i think i think i think....i think i know what i should do.
(il)logical...gloves on, gloves off, hand sanitizer, wash, rise and repeat...i think maybe the sanitizer might be a big character in this act..its crazy, but i think maybe we change in life as we grow older...10 years ago scars were cool man...battle wounds!!! a woman gets older and she just starts to look worn down with all those nooks and crannies in such conspicuous places...damn bony prominences...eh, it is what it is...ill just have to work on picking my feet higher when i walk...
i was a fight picking bitch while we were walking this weekend...the fun part about not being on hormones anymore is how you get thrown into a windowless room and have to leave it to your body clock to tell you what time it is totally not...cause your mind plays tricks on you, and i say, my mind is totally into trickery...*i interrupt my monologue by saying that i really love the auto save feature in the lj posting window...i almost lost this genius!* plus, its not like anything can be normal, and i can count weeks on a calendar...nooooooo...strangely, thankfully, these symptoms are more like asymptoms because lord knows the P to my MS was pretty debilitating for a large part of my life...heck, maybe ill be there again one day, but for now...we coo...
pharmaceutically speaking...its been a while since cymbalta and i started our dance...so far, no toes have been stepped on in the maxing of this cocktail...like...i baked cookies yesterday, and it was enjoyable, like it used to be...not a painfully tragic obligation that ive convinced myself wouldnt be that bad, until simply starting proved painful...no, i said, hey! im going to make cookies! and use frosting! and sprinkles! and it will be goooood! (and so are the cookies, ohhhh yeah!) and the cookies i baked are for a lady at work who just needs many many hugs...but hates them...so ill hug her with cookies with frosting and sprinkles! (thanks again angie for the recipe, theyre fantastic!) so, im feeling pretty alright, living life without dreading the fact that everytime i blink my eyes have to open back up again, unless something really drastic happens, but oh, thats just too much effort, and really not worth it to anyone who likes reading this crap...oh wait, thats me, one day ill read it and laugh :P
(do you ever hear the punctuation you use when you type in your head? when i use exclamation points, i hear jerry seinfeld. ellipses are too deadpan for every sentence use...funny, i usually talk without exclamation points...i save them for argumentative times. really amanda? the dichotomy of an exclamation point?!
im not manic, even though 1.5 cups of coffee, not enough sleep, and two sleepy dogs at my feet might make it sound like i am...my husband is not lucky enough to have a wife that ever gets manic..but yeah, i feel pretty ok on the psychotropic front..i thought i felt good with the lexapro, but im a newly firmed up believer that more seratonin is not neccessarily better in my realm...in fact, id like to cut that shit out altogether and just discourage dopamine and norepinephrin reuptake, but i think the P to my MS would then rear its ugly head and turn my world (and the furniture) back upside down. also, what ever it is that calms the overactive pain receptors is doing a great job, cause i havent had an episode of wake up with hand and arm pain since if started it...back and neck aches are no longer a way of life...
thinking a lot about karma lately, different concepts and ideas of the concept itself, and the episode of house im watching right now is allllll about the karma...even has it in the title!
what else..? honey crisp apples is what else! i swear, i wish it could be honey crisp apple season all year round...i wonder what makes them only autumn time delicious...eventually i am going to need to get my ass in gear and walk these dogs...i wanted to do interval training today as well, but i think that will have to wait till i get home tonite...i dont want to ruin my second day recycled cute spooky halloween headband hairdo from yesterday. ill sweat it out tonite instead...
i think i think i think....i think i know what i should do.