From the Soviet Informburo
At 4am yesterday, in the Amur river valley, the Chinese forces, composed of 4 infantry divisions supported by tanks and artillery, had crossed the Soviet-Chinese border and attacked a peaceful Soviet tractor. After repelling the treacherous attack with a broadside of machine gun and rocket fire, destroying 8 aircraft, over 30 tanks, and approximately 1000 infantry, the tractor initiated a burn of the main engines and disappeared in the near-Earth space. The space flight continues without incidents, and the tractor pilot is feeling well. As the head of the collective farm Maj. Gen Ivanov warned, further invasion attempts will be repelled using planters, seeders, threshers, and a VTOL combination harvester 'Niva', as well as exhaust gases of sarin and soman type.