haters and sexual identity
How i love to hate the haters but perhaps it's time to just love the haters for being semi-tarded and misinformed.
I can't think of a day or a month (or year for that matter) that I wasn't getting constantly judged by the backwoods inbred evangelical fuckheads out here in Kansas, North Carolina, or well anywhere.
Being a gay male trapt in the body of a woman is annoying to say the least. Identifying myself as a gay male makes the men around me laugh and shrug me off retorting that all straight men are lesbians. Which is exceedingly false. If all straight men were lesbians then they would want to be with a *woman* as a (wait for it...) *woman*. I've been to gay bars with my lesbian friends and when the hot little gay man starts grinding on me it's horrible to say the least. I can't do *anything* with him because well I don't have a dick and i'm not a guy. This sucks so freaking hard. He thinks he's grinding on a lesbo and that just like a lesbian and a gay kissing he thinks it means nothing. But it just leaves me with the proverbial blue balls.
And when I finally break it down to the "lesbian" guys they get this awkward kinda "yuck" look on their faces and then run far far away.
I've been called Fag Hag and while I suppose it is true I can't help that I was born a female.
I can't get operations or go through treatments for several reasons:
1. Cost - Poor college kid and that stuff is so far deep into the elective surgery territory that it's a joke to try and get it covered.
2. Feminine body/face - I'm SUPER curvy with a very very very very girly face. No fucking way would I be able to make it as a dude. I wouldn't even be able to make it to the operations. The person wanting to go through sex change surgery first has to go through this intensive psychological evaluation and then they have to live a year as a guy. Assuming a male identity, strapping down the boobs, using a realistic false dick to pee with in the men's room, and taking a male name and if somebody thinks or asks you if are a girl your year starts over. I wouldn't make it a week T__T
3. The package- There just isn't anything that could be medically done right now to make a girl have a fully functioning dick and balls. It's just not possible right now. Who knows if it'll be possible in my lifetime.
and
4. Coming out to the folks - I'd so much rather not have that discussion with them. Ever. EVER.
sorry for this rant but every slash fiction and cute gay couple reminds me of what I'll never have. What I can't have and I hate it and I hate the people who diss me for it :/
I can't think of a day or a month (or year for that matter) that I wasn't getting constantly judged by the backwoods inbred evangelical fuckheads out here in Kansas, North Carolina, or well anywhere.
Being a gay male trapt in the body of a woman is annoying to say the least. Identifying myself as a gay male makes the men around me laugh and shrug me off retorting that all straight men are lesbians. Which is exceedingly false. If all straight men were lesbians then they would want to be with a *woman* as a (wait for it...) *woman*. I've been to gay bars with my lesbian friends and when the hot little gay man starts grinding on me it's horrible to say the least. I can't do *anything* with him because well I don't have a dick and i'm not a guy. This sucks so freaking hard. He thinks he's grinding on a lesbo and that just like a lesbian and a gay kissing he thinks it means nothing. But it just leaves me with the proverbial blue balls.
And when I finally break it down to the "lesbian" guys they get this awkward kinda "yuck" look on their faces and then run far far away.
I've been called Fag Hag and while I suppose it is true I can't help that I was born a female.
I can't get operations or go through treatments for several reasons:
1. Cost - Poor college kid and that stuff is so far deep into the elective surgery territory that it's a joke to try and get it covered.
2. Feminine body/face - I'm SUPER curvy with a very very very very girly face. No fucking way would I be able to make it as a dude. I wouldn't even be able to make it to the operations. The person wanting to go through sex change surgery first has to go through this intensive psychological evaluation and then they have to live a year as a guy. Assuming a male identity, strapping down the boobs, using a realistic false dick to pee with in the men's room, and taking a male name and if somebody thinks or asks you if are a girl your year starts over. I wouldn't make it a week T__T
3. The package- There just isn't anything that could be medically done right now to make a girl have a fully functioning dick and balls. It's just not possible right now. Who knows if it'll be possible in my lifetime.
and
4. Coming out to the folks - I'd so much rather not have that discussion with them. Ever. EVER.
sorry for this rant but every slash fiction and cute gay couple reminds me of what I'll never have. What I can't have and I hate it and I hate the people who diss me for it :/