(no subject)
I have started a new job. Not a paying job but volunteering doing peer counseling. I really don't have any power over the clients I am there just to listen. If I feel that I have a constructive suggestion I can give it but the client has full freedom to accept or reject my ideas.
The other day I saw my client and she knocked my socks off. She is in her mid 50's and has a 30 something son who was in an accident 10 yrs. ago and he has TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). He fell through the cracks of the system and has had NO therapy or real help in all this time. His mother has devoted her life to helping him. He became very violent 3 months ago and she had to move out of her home for safety and 2 weeks ago he got into a fight and now is in jail. She has finally got the help he needed but if he doesn't get into a facility very soon his medical disability will be taken away because he is in jail.
While talking to her I realized so many things about myself. She is feeling so guilty. Like she should have done more even though there wasn't anything she could do. She is really having a rough time.
As we were talking be began to discuss communication. REAL communication. How we try to be truthful and communicate but humans have no idea how this is done. One day she found a box of her son's treasures and there were many pictures of him and her other son. Some of them were arranged in such a way that they told her how much this moment in time meant to her son. She realized that she had spoken to him but the depth of the situation had never really been communicated. We both agreed that there were many, many times in our children's lives that something very deep had happened and where were we when the children needed us to express our understanding or something.
Even today it is impossible to communicate true feeling. When we needed our own parents to be there for us and reassure us. We did not receive this.
I still want to communicate but I don't know how. If I speak my mind, is that truth or judgment or condemnation or unrealistic pictures of perfection. I know what I feel but can I be honest to that degree??????
The other day I saw my client and she knocked my socks off. She is in her mid 50's and has a 30 something son who was in an accident 10 yrs. ago and he has TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). He fell through the cracks of the system and has had NO therapy or real help in all this time. His mother has devoted her life to helping him. He became very violent 3 months ago and she had to move out of her home for safety and 2 weeks ago he got into a fight and now is in jail. She has finally got the help he needed but if he doesn't get into a facility very soon his medical disability will be taken away because he is in jail.
While talking to her I realized so many things about myself. She is feeling so guilty. Like she should have done more even though there wasn't anything she could do. She is really having a rough time.
As we were talking be began to discuss communication. REAL communication. How we try to be truthful and communicate but humans have no idea how this is done. One day she found a box of her son's treasures and there were many pictures of him and her other son. Some of them were arranged in such a way that they told her how much this moment in time meant to her son. She realized that she had spoken to him but the depth of the situation had never really been communicated. We both agreed that there were many, many times in our children's lives that something very deep had happened and where were we when the children needed us to express our understanding or something.
Even today it is impossible to communicate true feeling. When we needed our own parents to be there for us and reassure us. We did not receive this.
I still want to communicate but I don't know how. If I speak my mind, is that truth or judgment or condemnation or unrealistic pictures of perfection. I know what I feel but can I be honest to that degree??????