(no subject)
So much is hitting me all at once.
Starting tomorrow is the last week of the semester. After I hand in my last final (which are all papers this time), I will be halfway done with my senior year. The real world looms large, and scarily close.
Academically, this semester has been terrible. I didn't like a single one of my classes, which made it hard to motivate myself enough to do more than the bare minimum required. Sometimes even trying to motivate myself enough to reach the minimum requirements was more than I could handle.
I have no idea how I'm going to make it through finals week. I have two 10+-page papers, one 4-page paper for Chinese (in Chinese), and a thesis draft, all due by the 17th at noon. I'm at the final stretch here, but it's so hard to keep going.
Luke has been my saving grace this semester. I didn't want to return to Bryn Mawr at all this year, and was even contemplating graduating at the end of fall semester, just so I'd be out of here faster. However, our flirtation over the summer, sleeping together in September, and then making our relationship official in October has definitely made me want to stay. After just under two months of officially dating, it's a bit hard to tell what the future holds. As of now, our plans are to stay together over winter break and keep dating in the spring semester. I'm not sure how I'll survive break, though. We usually see each other at least two or three days a week. I'm going to have to suddenly go to no days a week for a month, unless he can get enough money to come visit me at home.
...but with my parents only wanting me to date Jews, and seeing as Luke is Quaker, that's a whole different story. So if my parents won't let him stay at our house, I'll have to figure out an alternate location where he can crash.
On a side note, I'm really happy where our relationship is right now, but part of me is worried that at this stage I'm way too involved emotionally. I always feel a bit blue the few hours after I return to my room after we spend the night together. I'd follow him anywhere if it would make him happy. After 3-ish months of being together, is it too soon to have emotions this intense? I don't know.
Also, our relationship seems so final. In May, I'll graduate, he'll stay on at Haverford, and we'll presumably go our separate ways. It's too early to discuss our plans for then, but I can't help thinking about them. My biggest fear, though, is that it will end badly and we'll never speak to each other again.
It's obvious that the only thing to do is just see how it plays out and hope for the absolute best.
Sorry for the rambling.
Starting tomorrow is the last week of the semester. After I hand in my last final (which are all papers this time), I will be halfway done with my senior year. The real world looms large, and scarily close.
Academically, this semester has been terrible. I didn't like a single one of my classes, which made it hard to motivate myself enough to do more than the bare minimum required. Sometimes even trying to motivate myself enough to reach the minimum requirements was more than I could handle.
I have no idea how I'm going to make it through finals week. I have two 10+-page papers, one 4-page paper for Chinese (in Chinese), and a thesis draft, all due by the 17th at noon. I'm at the final stretch here, but it's so hard to keep going.
Luke has been my saving grace this semester. I didn't want to return to Bryn Mawr at all this year, and was even contemplating graduating at the end of fall semester, just so I'd be out of here faster. However, our flirtation over the summer, sleeping together in September, and then making our relationship official in October has definitely made me want to stay. After just under two months of officially dating, it's a bit hard to tell what the future holds. As of now, our plans are to stay together over winter break and keep dating in the spring semester. I'm not sure how I'll survive break, though. We usually see each other at least two or three days a week. I'm going to have to suddenly go to no days a week for a month, unless he can get enough money to come visit me at home.
...but with my parents only wanting me to date Jews, and seeing as Luke is Quaker, that's a whole different story. So if my parents won't let him stay at our house, I'll have to figure out an alternate location where he can crash.
On a side note, I'm really happy where our relationship is right now, but part of me is worried that at this stage I'm way too involved emotionally. I always feel a bit blue the few hours after I return to my room after we spend the night together. I'd follow him anywhere if it would make him happy. After 3-ish months of being together, is it too soon to have emotions this intense? I don't know.
Also, our relationship seems so final. In May, I'll graduate, he'll stay on at Haverford, and we'll presumably go our separate ways. It's too early to discuss our plans for then, but I can't help thinking about them. My biggest fear, though, is that it will end badly and we'll never speak to each other again.
It's obvious that the only thing to do is just see how it plays out and hope for the absolute best.
Sorry for the rambling.