Cold Fusion: Twelve Days, Ch 5
Again, a huge thank you to Karen B. Jones for road trip ideas (and all the other ideas, too!). This chapter would have sucked without her.
This is in 2 parts again. Livejournal. Butts.
Chapter 5
She opens her eyes and frowns. There's bright sunlight pouring through the windows and she sits bolt upright-what happened to six o'clock?
"What's going on?" she asks. Megamind's side of the bed is made up already, and he's sprawled over the sofa reading a newspaper. "I thought we were supposed to be on the road by now?"
"Change of plans," he says, smiling brightly as he folds the paper up and lays it down on his lap. "Sorry I didn't ask you first, but when I tried to wake you up you hit me in the nose and mumbled something about parsnips."
She chuckles. "Sorry."
"It's okay. You were asleep, you didn't hit very hard. It was more of a batting motion." He demonstrates, flopping an arm at her pathetically until she can't help but laugh. "So I called up to the house and told Lucy and Bob that we'd be up at ten o'clock for breakfast. They said that was fine."
The clock reads 9:06. "You do realize we have nearly eighteen more hours of driving today?"
"Yes. Don't worry, we'll manage. And this way we'll get to your mother's tomorrow morning, and we won't have to wake her up during the wee hours to let us in!" He sends her a sunny smile that she just can't argue with. "We'll take driving in shifts! And you know me, I can stay up for days. So you can sleep in the car and I'll get us to your mother's. No problem."
Privately, she thinks there will be a problem if only because they both tend to become slightly hysterical after ten or so hours of driving, but Megamind looks so excited that she can't bring herself to point this out. Oh well, she thinks ruefully, que será, será.
"That sounds great," she tells him. He beams. "You're not wearing the disguise yet? The sun's up."
His smile turns sly. "About that. I've been thinking."
"Uh-oh," she says, grinning, and he sticks his tongue out at her.
"I think it'll be okay if I don't wear it all the time. I know how much you hate it, and truth be told I like the safety it affords but it doesn't really help my mindset any. We can keep it off as long as the car stays invisible." He pauses. "But I think I should keep it on at all times when we're at your mother's house. Even at night."
Roxanne rubs the sleep sand out of her eyes and puts her chin on her knees, wrapping her hands around her ankles under the covers, thinking about how they really should put in a window in Megamind's bedroom at the Lair because his skin and eyes in the morning sunlight are just incredible. She can't remember the last time he's looked less human or more gorgeous.
He blinks at her. "Okay…what's that face? You've gone all misty-eyed and smiley at me."
"I guess you're right," she says, "about the disguise. But for now…we have almost an hour, and you found us this amazing little cabin, and it would really be a shame not to take advantage of its…seclusion?"
He mock-scowls at her. "I just got dressed." He stands. "And now you want me to take my clothes off again?"
Her mouth curls to the side. "No, I was sort of hoping you'd let me do that."
"Uh huh. I thought we got this out of our systems last night? Twice, even!"
"Mmm, I don't hear you objecting." She grins at him, then bursts into bright laughter when he falls across her, pushing her down-she grabs him and rolls him over.
Is it always going to be like this? she wonders as he smiles up at her, deep amusement warring with chagrin on his features, laughing and shaking his head at her when she just looks at him. She hopes it will always be like this. Familiar and still so new. Then he does something interesting with his hips that demands her attention, and her thoughts turn to other things for a while.
Some time later, he zips up the back of her dress with his toothbrush clamped in his teeth before heading back to the bathroom to spit.
"That's a new dress," he calls to her. "I don't think I've seen it before."
He hasn't. It's wool and surprisingly comfortable, an early Christmas gift from Minion. It's pretty and blue and it travels well, and they have a long drive ahead of them and she wants to feel pretty. Dressing well has always helped her mood immensely. "You like it?"
"I do." He comes out of the bathroom with the disguise back in place, wiping his hands on a towel. "Blue really brings out your eyes, and that particular shade goes really well with your complex-tion. The deep collar balances your profile, too, but it definitely doesn't eliminate any of your curves."
"I love having a fashion-savvy boyfriend," she remarks, and he chuckles and pulls on his gloves, strapping them around his upper arms with short, quick movements.
"You ready to head up to the house?" he asks. "All packed? I'd like to hit the road as soon as we're done breakfast."
"I'm ready if you are. Just let me get my boots on." Yet another benefit to living with Megamind is that the stuff he uses to waterproof his leathers is actually waterproof. This is the first pair of nice boots she's been able to wear through a foot of snow without worrying. "Okay. Ready."
Breakfast sends her perception of him back into the uncanny valley as he interacts with their hosts. Maybe it's just that she never sees him at city council meetings and things like that, but she's forgotten how good an actor he is. He seems completely at ease with Bob and Lucy, cracking casual jokes and asking about business and the area, so relaxed that Roxanne finds herself laughing along, teasing him playfully about getting lost the night before, elbowing him good-naturedly in the ribs-suddenly they're like any other couple on a holiday trip across the country. When breakfast is over, he shakes Bob's hand and gives Lucy a peck on the cheek, acting quite as though they've known each other all their lives, and he even gives a farewell beep of the horn as he backs out of the drive to go back to the highway.
It takes a couple minutes before Roxanne realizes how very strange all that was, but she can't identify why it was odd for the life of her, which is doubly strange. "Whatwas all that?"
He looks at her curiously. "All what?"
"All that back there. The joking and the laughing and the-all of it." She shakes her head. "I've never seen you like that before."
"What?" He looks at her, wearing a faintly bewildered smile. "You see me like that all the time."
"You weren't acting?" The idea honestly hadn't occurred to her. She frowns. Now that he mentions it, it had been exactly how he behaves around her and Minion and, recently, Wayne. That's why it had seemed weird: Roxanne has never seen him at ease around strangers. "But you seemed so comfortable with them."
"Why shouldn't I be comfortable? They don't know who I am. Even if they did, I'll probably never see them again." He shrugs, then casts her a sidelong glance. "Not everything I do is an act, you know."
"I know that!" she assures him quickly. "I'm just not used to you being you around people who aren't, well…me." She frowns. "Wow, that really sounds bad."
But he's laughing again. "No, it sounds like you know me. I hide a lot from the people of Metro because I still have a reputation to uphold, but it's all completely conscious. And, frankly? It's getting harder to maintain." A line appears between his eyebrows, and she blinks at him in surprise. She hadn't expected him to ever admit something like that. Still more amazing is that he keeps going. "I'd like to retire completely. I've already retired the supervillain persona, but the behind-the-scenes guy is still out there. I've still got info on Metro's underground dealings coming in every day from seventy or so different sources." His mouth twists. "I mean, it's all necessary, of course. I'll do whatever it takes to keep Metro City a clean, safe place to live. I just wish it were legal."
Roxanne shakes her head. "What exactly isn't legal about what you do?"
"Aside from the fact that I'm something of a very quiet vigilante-" He breaks off, frustrated. "I suppose, technically, gathering information isn't illegal. It's just that I wish I didn't have to do it. I could help the police so much with what I know, but that would only make me a ton of enemies. So I guess what I'd really like to do is stop getting information entirely. Stop all the dealings with Lancaster and York, stop enforcing all the rules and everything and just…I don't know, buy a house in the country, or something."
"You aren't serious."
"No," he admits. "Probably not that; I like the city and I don't want to leave. But you know what I mean." He sighs and shrugs. "Trouble is, then the crime rate in Metro would go back to what it was before I started, and I'm not sure if I could deal with that."
Roxanne has heard that before, but not from him. She swallows. "So...leave Lancaster and York in charge! They'll do a fine job. They almost run the city on their own, you know that-all the criminals here are scared of them, not you."
"But I operate through them. Also, they're human! They have their own agendas."
"I'm human," she points out, "and I don't have an agenda."
"Yes, you do, you have the same agenda I do. Being happy." The little line deepens. "But that comes second to keeping Metrocity safe. No matter what happens, I need to know that I'll be able to field an army if the city ever needs one, and as long as I stand above Lancaster and York they'll mobilize together if I give the order. But if I step down, there's no guarantee that their suspicion of each other won't prevent them from doing what needs to happen should the need arise."
She holds up her hands. "Whoa, whoa. Why do you even need to do any of this? I love that you're so into keeping the city safe, but seriously, sweetie, you aren't actuallythe King of Metro. You don't need to do all this."
"It needs to be done," he replies.
"But what has the city ever done for you?"
He shrugs and says, with utter sincerity, "I don't see why that matters."
Roxanne is really, really glad he's watching the road because it means he can't look at the way her whole expression has just fallen open. Because that, right there, is the core of who he is. He keeps saying he's not a hero, he hates it when the media calls him one and he's always quick to correct anyone who makes that mistake-but Roxanne isn't sure if there's any other word for what he is. He's going through the exact same thing Wayne was going through: he's sick of the whole business and wants to retire but he doesn't dare, because he's the only one who can do what needs to be done.
"You're awfully quiet," he observes a minute later.
She swallows hard, trying to stay objective but feeling a lot of love for him. "Let me put this another way," she says slowly. "And I don't mean this as a loaded question at all, I promise. If it came down to a choice between keeping the city safe and staying with me-"
His hands tighten on the wheel. "Please. Don't."
"But that's the way you have to think about this!" she exclaims. "You deserve to be happy. If saving the city doesn't make you happy, you don't have to do it. I thought you hated the concept of moral obligations," she adds when his lips make a thin line and he huffs through his nose. "What about that stuff you told Wayne back when hewas going in circles with all this? All that Latin stuff-non solum sumo tumpty bumpty, or whatever it was?"
"Non nobis solum nati sumus, we are not born for ourselves alone." He shakes his head. "This isn't about that. It has nothing to do with morality."
"Oh don't give me that," she scoffs. "You can't deal with knowing the crime rate is your fault? That's moral obligation all over."
"You aren't listening to me," he says flatly. "When I was eight days old I watched my planet disintegrate into the vortex of a collapsar. You don't think about what might happen if the Earth was just sucked out from under you some day or what might happen if you suddenly became responsible for the extinction or survival of an entire species, but I've never even taken air for granted. When I saw Earth on the viewfinder and knew I was headed somewhere that at least had an atmosphere, I wasecstatic. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To be relieved because you've just found out you'll be able to do things like breathe?
"And yes, it's been rough, yes, I could have had it a lot easier. But any way you look at it, Metro City is my second chance at a life that was denied the rest of myspecies." A muscle pulses in his jaw and his voice goes flat and hard as folded iron. "It's taken me a long time to reach this conclusion. A long time. I nearly threw it in everyone's faces once, but I pulled through that and I'm stronger for it, and I'm never going to take my life for granted ever again-I've lost too much. I've gained too much!
"That's why I stand above Lancaster and York. That's why I've imposed all these rules on Metro. It's…these are my people. Mine. Just like Metrocity is my home. I…" He trails off, gesturing wordlessly as he tries to work out his phrasing. "I don't see what's so difficult to understand about this. The city is my home. It's the only one I'm ever going to have. I love Metroci…agh, Metro City," he says, scowling. His pronunciation is getting better in general, but 'Metro City' still gives him problems when he's not thinking about it. Force of habit, Roxanne assumes. "I don't do this because I feel obligated, and I'm certainly not the only one who can do it. I do it because it needs to be done and nobody else is bothering to do it."
He glances over at Roxanne to find her staring at him. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" she asks.
A small smile tugs at his lips. "You said little else for nearly forty-five seconds straight this morning, as I recall," he says.
"Well, I meant it."
He smiles. "You know something?" His eyes are sparkling when he looks at her now. "I actually believe that."
She smiles back. "So I'll tell you what," she says, "you defend the city, and I'll help. Okay?"
"Why, Miss Ritchi," he drawls, dropping his voice to a purr, "are you finally taking me up on my offer to make you my Evil Queen?"
She laughs. "No. I won't be your Evil Queen. I will be your queen, though."
"Aww, but evil is so much more fun."
"Sorry, honey. Evil's a deal-breaker."
Megamind blinks, startled. "Is that what it was? You mean we could have gotten here years ago if I'd given up evil sooner?"
She shakes her head. "Okay, see, if I admit that, I'll have to admit that I was interested in you even back when you were evil."
He nods wisely. "Ah, I see. And you won't do that?"
"It's nothing against you, dear," she says fondly, patting his knee, "I just won't give my brother the satisfaction."
Megamind snorts. "I can't wait to meet him."
"He's really excited about this, too." She kicks off her shoes and snuggles into the seat, wiggling down and putting her feet up on the dashboard. "There aren't very many people who can keep up with him intellectually; I think he's looking forward to taking you for a test drive." She smirks. "He is going to be so madI got to you first."
"Were you interested in me when I was evil?" He doesn't expect her to answer. She never has before and, as usual, she turns an interesting shade of pink and stares out the window. "Come onnnn," he wheedles.
She presses her lips together and scrunches her toes against the cold windshield. "I will admit I was…curious."
He sniffs haughtily. "I shall just have to ask Drew."
"Don't you dare!"
His laugh this time is positively evil. "Why? What are you afraid he'll tell me?"
She huffs at him. "He's going to tell you a pack of dirty lies is what he's going to tell you."
"Oh, I'm so sure."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Grand Junction, Colorado
2: 13 PM Eastern Standard Time
12:13 PM Mountain Standard Time
"Stop here! Stop here."
He swerves across two lanes to the exit ramp. "What? What's here?"
"Colorado National Monument."
He groans. "I am not climbing any more hills."
"Yes, you are. Come on." She grins wickedly and holds something up for him to see. "Besides, we need pictures!"
He frowns, genuinely confused. "But why?" he asks, baffled.
"You have an eidetic memory," she tells him. "I don't. And Minion demanded pictures. Wayne threatened grievous bodily harm if we didn't bring back documentation."
"What? He threatened you? How dare-"
"Okay, one: I'm pretty sure he was joking, and two: he threatened you." She chuckles. "He said, and I quote, 'By the way, threaten your blue maraca with grievous bodily harm if he doesn't bring back pictures or videos or something 'cause I'm gonna need documentation of you guys out of the city.'"
"Maraca?" he echoes faintly.
"Because you're shaped like a stick and your head is…" She waves her hands in front of her, miming 'big.' "And if he picked you up and shook you, you would rattle."
Once upon a time, this would have sent Megamind into a towering sulk, vowing revenge. Now, he bursts into helpless laughter. "I've been called a lot of things," he chokes, "but that-that is the best. And now I know what to send him."
"A maraca?"
He nods, still laughing. "I'm going to paint it blue first. With a little face."
"And a goatee?"
"You know it."
The sign is brown with white lettering, set in a pile of stacked reddish sandstone, and the monument turns out to be little more than a particularly scenic view. Had it been earlier in the year, the hiking trails might have been open and they could have stretched their legs a bit more. As it is, they get some decent pictures-they have to take two because the flash is still on initially and Megamind wants to turn it off. Roxanne makes fun of him for being picky about settings when really he doesn't even need a camera until he tells her he'd been making a silly face in the first one and wants a more serious photo.
The flash goes off again, and this time there's not much he can say to Roxanne's overly-polite query of, "So what happened to being a supergenius?" other than, "Quiet, you."
"Only I'd think you'd be able to figure out how to work a camera. Give me that."
"There aren't any buttons," he protests as she takes it away from him, "it's just a stupid touch screen. And it won't acknowledge my gloves!"
Fiddling with the settings herself now, she nods indulgently. "Yes, dear. Okay, that should take care of it."
She checks the viewfinder, then sets the timer and darts back to him, draping herself over his shoulders.
The camera clicks, the camera flashes, and Megamind whirls, triumphant. "Ha!" he cries, pointing at her. Unfortunately, they're standing so close that his enthusiasm literally knocks her over. He immediately looks horrified. "Oh! Sorry!"
He reaches down to help her to her feet, and she takes his hand. Then…
"Kyaaaargh!"
He arches his back, scrabbling frantically at his collar as Roxanne dances away, dusting the snow off her gloves and ignoring his pained shriek. "No-getitoff getitoff-"
"Ha ha!"
"Cold!" With an effort, he stops hopping around and clamps his arms over his chest, glaring at her with Pavel's face. "That was evil."
She stands a safe distance to the side, grinning. "You knocked me in the snow, I dumped snow down your back. We're square."
"Square?" he repeats, incredulous and wide-eyed. "You dumped snow down the back of my neck." His shoulders are slowly tilting to the left in a drawn-out, vain attempt to dislodge the melting ice. "Why don't I just stuff some in your bra, see how you like it."
"You wouldn't," she says, sticking her tongue out at him, "you're a good guy now, but I have made no such claims. And I dare you to damage my dress. That'll hurt meand Minion."
He makes a funny tsking sound against his teeth, irritated. "Okay. Fair enough. But I will get you back for that!" One finger shoots into the air, waving in an agitated little circle as he leaps into a dramatic pose. "Mark my words, Miss Ritchi, you will rue the dayyou ever-"
"Crossed the likes of the criminal genius and master of all blah blah blah!" She jumps into a similar pose, complete with finger and Dastardly Smile #4, which is disturbingly similar to his own. "I know."
He drops his hand, looking distinctly disgruntled. "'Put snow down my collar' is what I was going to say, but if you want to be all dramatic I suppose that's fine."
She pulls off a glove with her teeth and goes back over to the camera. "Oh, hush. Go and change your armor. Look, let's just take the picture and get back on the road."
"I like that plan. That is a good plan." He suddenly resumes wriggling, letting out a groan of frustration. "Rrrrargh, why won't it just melt already?"
"Here," she says, finally just abandoning the camera, "let me."
He stands still and lets her scrape the snow out of his collar.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
East of Green River, Utah
4:30 PM EST
2:30 PM MST
"Someday," Megamind says out of the clear blue sky, "I'm going to buy that place."
Roxanne looks around, bewildered. "Wha…what place?"
"The Utah Launch Complex." He points. "It's over there."
"I don't see a launch complex," she complains, peering out at the flatter-than-flat landscape. Then she pauses. "What's a launch complex?"
He heaves a long-suffering sigh. "Missiles, my dear Miss Ritchi. This place was abandoned ages ago, but it's a great location. I have a secondary Lair at the bottom of the lake in case of…well, in case of things, but it never hurts to have a fortified land base as well."
"What kind of things?"
"You know," he says uncomfortably. "Things. Explody things."
She decides not to ask. "Okay. Well, are you hungry? I think it might be time for sandwiches."
"You mean the sandwiches Minion made us that we haven't been eating? Yes, I think so too. I'm beginning to feel guilty." He makes a face. "Supervillains don't do guilty."
She unbuckles her seat belt so that she can twist around and access the cooler, fishing out the Tupperware labeled 'Day 2' and rehydrating the contents. "Okay, our choices are…hmm. Ham again, salami, or…I don't know what this is; I think it's yours." Suddenly she gasps. "Oh. There's a tomato cheese one. Can I have that one? Please? I haven't had a tomato cheese sandwich since I was little."
He chuckles. "Sure, go ahead. I think the other one is probably peanut butter and bacon, I'll have that one. We'll eat the others for dinner; I want to get as much road time as possible."
"Thanks, honey, you're the best." She settles back into her seat and replaces her seat belt, squirming around until her dress is properly situated.
Megamind, who can't be as careful as he usually is because he's driving, sheds sticky bacon pieces and crumbs all over his lap, and Roxanne laughs at him. Until he points out that she has managed to get tomato in her hair, and between the two of them, that's the more impressive feat.
"I'd understand it if you had long hair," he chuckles. "You must have been really enthusiastic about that sandwich."
She huffs at him, but she's grinning. "We'll see who's laughing later when I kiss you with stale tomato breath."
"Me," he says immediately. "I'll still be laughing."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
As it turns out, dinner coincides with a gas station break, so they head into the building to stretch their legs a little. Roxanne decides to see how the pictures turned out while Megamind speed-walks up and down the aisles; there hadn't been much time to look at them earlier, what with all the snowy shenanigans happening.
"Okay, this is interesting," she murmurs, gazing fixedly at the viewscreen. Megamind, on his way past the next aisle over, makes a questioning noise. She calls over, "I think I've figured out why that guy at Lucy's Place was staring so much, and we're going to have to be careful with the camera from now on."
He comes around the end by the wall of refrigerators, already curious. "Why?"
"Come here." She turns the camera so he can see. "This is me and you at the national monument."
"Looks good," he says, "I don't see a problem."
"Okay. And this," she continues as she hits the 'next' button, "is me and Pavel at the national monument."
Megamind straightens, staring. "Oh. Oh." His brow wrinkles into a worried frown as she thumbs to go 'back' and he looks at the first picture again. "Oh okay then."
For all the photos they've taken so far, he has been wearing Pavel. But the picture he's looking at shows him draped, beaming, over Roxanne's shoulder in all his blue-skinned glory.
He looks at Roxanne, who bites her lip. "Remember how that girl said you looked a little bit blue that morning?"
"Let me see," he mutters, clicking the right arrow a few times. "Aha! Here, look." It's him as Pavel, standing by the brown sign and grinning like a fool. "I think it's the flash. Sideways light. It only hasn'tgone off twice, this time and the last time."
Roxanne picks up the camera and puts her thumb over the flashbulb. "Let's find out."
He nods and leans back, pulls a silly face. She laughs and clicks the shutter button, then turns the flash back on. "Cross your eyes?"
Instead he sweeps his nictitating membranes sideways and lets his mouth fall open, stretches out his hands in front of him. "Braaaains."
She's almost laughing too hard to take the picture, but a moment later there's a flash of light and Megamind drops the act with his usual split-second change.
"Okay, let's see." He takes one look and nods. It's easy enough to see that the second picture of him is blue and the first isn't. "Well, we'll just have to make sure the flash stays off from now on. I'll play around with the settings while you drive, see if I can't figure out how to turn it off permanently."
"I kind of like it," she admits as they pull back onto the highway, and he cocks an eyebrow at her. "We can take pictures of me and you together, instead of me and your human face, and no one but us will know."
"That's true," he agrees. "Well, we'll turn it back on every once in a while, then." He scowls at the touch screen, then heaves a resigned sigh and begins the tedious process of taking off his gloves.
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