Fic: Cold Fusion: Hallows' Eve, Chapter 3
Oooof! This chapter took a lot longer to write than I thought it would. Hopefully it turned out okay, but as always, concrit is welcome! Everybody seems to be liking the longer chapters, so I think we'll try to stick with those for now.
Onward to chapter three! I own nothing.
Chapter 3
"I've called the police," Roxanne tells Megamind as soon as he's back up on the porch. "They said they'll be here soon." She nods at the young mother, who has draped herself in a white porch chair and is staring into space. "Her name's Cecile Beauchamp." She pauses. "I'm not sure how much more we can do beyond stay with her until the police arrive."
Megamind considers for a moment. He hates to just leave without really doing anything. It feels like leaving a project half-done. "I might be able to do more than that," he admits.
Roxanne raises an eyebrow. "Without blowing your cover?"
He sends her a Look and grins. "Roxanne. Please. You're talking to the massssster of disguise."
Evidently that means something different to Roxanne than it does to him because Roxanne takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment, looking as if she's trying very hard not to laugh. "I certainly hope not," she manages.
He blinks at her. She blinks back expectantly. "I'm…I think I just missed a culture reference."
Roxanne snorts. "You didn't miss much," she assures him. Then she glances at Cecile. "But you didn't answer my question."
Megamind hesitates. He would need an article of the boy's clothing to give to a brainbot - one of the older models, probably a 6.9. They'd been the last of the olfactory-to-visual sensors, just before he'd switched over to ultrasonic echolocation as the brainbots' main method of "seeing." But he'd only made a few of them, and as with all his designs, the first few he made tended to be the loudest and brightest of the run; in the case of the 6.9s, the first few had ended up being the only few. So no hope of running a quiet search behind the scenes. He runs through a few options in his head - he could always plant a few false trails and let slip that he and Megamind traded data back and forth and add that the blue ex-villain had owed him a favor so he'd borrowed a brainbot, but someone would be sure to cry 'foul' about that if only because it would have been too coincidental. Too handy an excuse. Also, since when does Megamind share data?
Still, he might have been able to pull it off by just abandoning his disguise if he hadn't made that very public appearance only a few minutes ago. The existence of the disguise generator is common knowledge at this point because of his Metro Man charade back in July, so it wouldn't take a genius to connect the dots - just someone paranoid enough to make the accusation. And the citizens of Metro City have come to associate him with Roxanne in both personas, but not at the same time, so if anybody notices that Pavel and Megamind were both in close proximity to Roxanne…maybe he's just being too cautious. But no, Joey had looked and sounded entirely too familiar with him when Megamind had approached the second time - he had figured it out, Megamind is almost certain. All it would take is some gossip mentioning Roxanne Ritchi had been in the neighborhood and he'd be a goner.
Then again, he could just wait until morning to join the investigation, and claim that he had left after talking with Joey and Nick and then seen news of the child's disappearance in the papers. But no, that won't work either, because people are going to be running back over all his activities as Pavel as soon as he and Roxanne go public. When that happens, this will pop up; if the news that he waited twelve hours to help when he knew a little boy might be in danger ever went public…well, that's another black mark that he just can't afford to have on his record.
There is no way he can help with this investigation as Pavel or Megamind without tipping somebody off or jeopardizing his character later on. The safest thing for him to do - the only thing for him to do - is to walk away.
He sighs and shakes his head. Roxanne is watching him curiously - he had taken a lot longer to think through that one than usual. "No. Not without potentially blowing my cover, no."
Whirling lights play across smudged white siding, the red-white-blue effect at odds with the Halloween orange-and-black theme. Megamind and Roxanne turn. A police car and a grey sedan with blacked-out wheels have pulled up to the curb.
Roxanne heaves a sigh. "Well, that's that," she murmurs.
"I guess it is," Megamind agrees reluctantly. He looks at Cecile and attempts an encouraging smile. "Bonne chance."
She looks up and tries to smile back, but her eyes are over-bright. "Merci."
As they head towards the street, Roxanne is stopped by the officer who had stepped out of the sedan. Megamind waits by the mailbox. "You the one who called it in?"
Roxanne nods. "I already told the dispatcher everything I knew," she says. "It wasn't much. Definitely not enough to be useful. Sorry."
The officer says something else, Megamind can't quite catch it, but it must be some form of dismissal because a few seconds later Roxanne is coming towards him. "Shame about all this," she remarks as they set off down the street together. Megamind doesn't answer, just flicks the collar of Pavel's coat up around his ears and then shoves his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders. "Halloween's a dangerous time. Lots of kids in masks, lots of adults in masks, a dark street…easy to snatch a kid out from under his mom's nose." She shakes her head. "Poor woman. I hope they find him." Then she realizes that Megamind is no longer walking beside her.
They've gone maybe a block and a half, and the street that had been so busy just a few minutes ago is now almost entirely empty - everyone else has gone inside or has their attention focused on the Beauchamp home. Megamind is standing in the middle of the road, scowling straight ahead. Confused, Roxanne takes a step towards him. "Meg…Pavel?"
He lets out a soft huff and turns around, looks back at the Beauchamp house and the whirling lights. He shakes his head, turns back, and looks at Roxanne. He licks his lips and starts to take a step towards her-
And stops, his frustrated scowl turning pained. He turns in a small circle, paces like a tiger in a cage. Looks at the house. Bounces impatiently on the balls of his feet. Roxanne knows these movements all too well: it's Megamind's 'frustration dance.'
Then he lets out a breath and his hunched shoulders fall. "Ghaaaaah," he groans, and spins, and begins to stalk back the way he came, twisting the watch.
Roxanne darts forward, catches his elbow before anybody notices. "What are you doing?"
"I have to," he says quietly.
"But you just said-"
"I know what I just said," he snaps, and his voice is unexpectedly sharp. Roxanne falters. She's seen Megamind look like this before: he's doing something that he has to do, whether he wants to or not. "Look around you. Look at this neighborhood." Roxanne glances to either side. It certainly isn't a slum, but it isn't exactly high-income, either. Megamind sounds resigned. "Whoever kidnapped that boy isn't looking for a high ransom. This is about something else. And in my experience, kids and 'something else's tend not to blend well."
Roxanne slumps, but she knows it's no use arguing with Megamind when his jaw clenches like that. "What can I do?"
"You can leave."
She stares at him, already starting to protest, but he cuts her off. "People will talk as it is, and I don't want them to see us together. We can't afford to let that happen." He half-smiles, flutters a hand towards her hair. "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
'He's right. The annoying thing is that he's right. Dammit. She huffs a sigh, and her breath puffs white in the dark air. "I'll go see our grouchy friend," she says. "I'm going to go help him pack. You can come find me there."
Megamind, to her surprise, agrees. "Good. And see if you can figure out why he's acting so weird."
"He always acts weird," Roxanne points out, and Megamind shrugs reluctantly.
Roxanne is quiet for a moment. Megamind had said something earlier about Bernard seeming 'off,' and if he's bringing that up again now, the subject is still bothering him. Megamind isn't one to worry over frivolities, either - if he's still thinking about it, something is probably wrong. Roxanne nods and punches him gently in the shoulder, as she had the first time he had shown up as Bernard. And she smiles, but her eyes are serious. "I'll see what I can do."
Megamind smiles back. "Thanks."
As soon as Roxanne is out of earshot, he pulls out his cell phone and dials his input code, then enters the ID number for Dante, one of the newer brainbots. He instructs Dante to send him RS2K12, one of the unnamed 6.9s, then puts the phone away. Modifying the cell phone signals so that Megamind wouldn't need to contact Minion if he was away from the lair and get him to send out the bots had been Minion's idea, one with which Megamind had enthusiastically agreed. Previously, if Minion had been out when Megamind called, Megamind had been forced to wait until Minion could contact a brainbot. There were situations where he simply could not afford to wait. Luckily, nothing too dire has come up yet, but Megamind is very good at conceiving of situations where waiting for a brainbot could lead to nuclear holocaust-they're incredibly far-fetched, but they could happen.
Luckily, RS2K12 shouldn't take too long, so Megamind takes a deep breath and heads back towards the Beauchamp house. As dark as it is outside, there are lights enough to see fairly well, and one of the police officers who's still out near the street spots him before he gets too close.
It's actually kind of funny to watch the indecision play out - Megamind, after all, has only just resigned his position as Metro City's resident supervillain, and every instinct in the cop's brain is telling him to shout, or pull his gun, or do something. But Megamind is grinning, and both his hands are visible, and he has resigned as the resident supervillian, and he can almost see the giant 'Now What?' blinking like a neon sign above the cop's head.
Finally the officer just walks out to meet him, obviously nervous but hiding it well. "Hey," he says, and he sounds friendly enough, but his face, like Nick's earlier, is still screaming this-is-weird. "Can I, um. Can I help you? Sir?"
Megamind comes to a stop facing him and cocks his head. It's odd, he thinks, but this is the first time he's stood face-to-face with someone and just talked. In his true form, that is, without having met for a council meeting or presentation or proposal - that business with Nick and Joey felt different, somehow, than this does. How far away is he supposed to stand? Is he standing too close, or is this okay? And what is he supposed to do with his hands? He wants to put them in the pockets of his coat, but the caped disguise the holowatch is projecting doesn't have pockets, and he isn't actually sure how the device would compensate-he hardly wants to look like he's clutching his thighs. Crossing his arms over his chest would make him look defensive. He takes a deep breath, pauses, and then lets it out and just turns off the disguise generator. He doesn't want to have to worry about it, and now he'll be able to put his hands in his pockets. That taken care of, he smiles brightly at the police officer. "You know, I was going to say the same thing."
The officer opens his mouth, then closes it and frowns. He's quite a young man, Megamind realizes. Probably why he came over instead of yelling - he doesn't have the 'Megamind! Run!' mentality that older officers do. He must be fairly new to the force; Megamind doesn't recognize him. "Actually, I have no idea. Can you?"
Megamind shrugs. "I've got one of the brainbots on the way. One of the older models - depending on when you joined up, I'm not sure if you'd recognize it." Then he grins in what he hopes is a charming and disarming manner. "But even without the brainbot, nobody knows more about kidnapping than I do."
The officer lets out a quick, awkward laugh, and nods. "Yeah, I'll…I'll give you that," he agrees. Megamind laughs, too, and he sounds just as uncomfortable as the young policeman. He resists the urge to scuff a foot on the ground.
Think of something to say, he thinks desperately. Small talk. What did Roxanne say to do in these situations? Make light of the problem? "So, hey," he says, still laughing a little bit, his gaze darting around the dark street, "the, ah. The elephant in the room. It's more of a mammoth, isn't it?"
The officer lets out a short laugh and appears to relax a little bit. "Yeah, sorry, this…this is kinda weird for me. I mean. Didn't really expect to see you here. In, you know." He waves at Megamind's chest. "Normal clothes. Just talking."
Megamind raises his eyebrows, nods eagerly, grins. "It's bizarre, right?"
The policeman flashes a half-smile, then sticks out his hand before the awkward silence has a chance to return. "Officer Bradley," he says.
Megamind shakes it. "Megamind," he says, because he can't just not say anything, but he's aware that that's the second time tonight he's done that, and he tries to make it sound like a joke. He's going to have to figure out a way to respond when people do that. At city functions, he tends to just nod and look as grave and professional as he can, but the social norms are different for different situations. "Do you have a first name, or should I just call you 'Officer?'"
"Bradley."
Oh. Megamind opens his mouth, closes it again, smiles weakly. He isn't surprised, but still, he had hoped that maybe he could make some kind of connection with at least one member of the MCPD. "Last-name basis, then, that's…I mean, that's cool too."
"No." Bradley waves a hand, grinning ruefully. "No. My name is Bradley. Or Brad. Either way."
Megamind blinks a few times, uncertain, and finally decides that the safest thing for him to do is to just ask and get the confusion out of the way. "Just to clarify," he says cautiously, "your first…and last…names are both Bradley?" Bradley shrugs and nods, and Megamind says the first thing that pops into his head. "Wow. Your parents must have hated you."
Which, of course, he immediately regrets, but Bradley snorts. "You know, sometimes, I used to wonder. Bradley No Middle Name Bradley. Used to get made fun of all the time in school."
Megamind chuckles. "I know what that's like," he mutters, then spreads his hands. "But hey, if it's any consolation, my name isn't exactly normal either."
Bradley looks like he doesn't quite know what to make of this information. "What is it?"
"Megamind." And then, when Bradley just looks at him, he shakes his head and grins. "No, seriously. Mega No Middle Name Mind. Technically," he says, "I am Mr. Mind. But they used to call me Blue, in school."
Bradley grins back. "Can't imagine why."
"Well, Blue or Freak," Megamind admits. "One or the other. Sometimes both. But, you know, water under the bridge and all that." Inwardly, where Bradley cannot see or hear, Megamind is cheering. Because he's having a conversation. A real, honest-to-God conversation, with a real person who isn't Roxanne and isn't a politician or board member or CEO or someone he's trying to impress, and it isn't awkward or weird. It's amazing. He feels like his grin is going to leap right off his face.
"Kids can be cruel," Bradley agrees, nodding. "We see it all the time. But I notice you never blew away your school."
"Nooooo," Megamind says slowly, and decides that these are dangerous waters and he should probably steer the conversation back to the original subject, because as thrilling as it is to be bantering normally, he's not sure how long he can keep it up. And, of course, there's a crisis occurring. "No, I never did. Killing, you know, killing…that's just…well, that's just inelegant. There's no trick to it. Kidnapping, on the other hand," he adds, "is tricky, especially if you don't know what you're doing. Which is why I am here!"
"Right! Right, yes, back on track." Bradley nods again. He sounds just as relieved as Megamind is to be back on professional ground, and Megamind realizes with some surprise that they're probably both in the same boat as far as the other is concerned. Neither of them has any idea what to do or say and they're each trying to take their cues from the other - and what's more, they probably both realize what's happening but can't figure out how to stop doing it. It makes him feel a little better. "So. Brainbot. You said you're waiting for an older model?"
"It's one of the 6.9s," Megamind explains. "It's the last run I designed that navigated solely by synthetic olfactory-sensor visuals, although I upgraded this one to use optical navigation as well. But that tends to cut in and out, since I didn't prepare for any upgrades in the original design."
Bradley looks blank. "Come again?"
"It's a snifferbot."
"Oh!" Then he frowns, and his tone turns dubious. "You really think it'll work? The kid was taken in a car. All we have so far are a couple rubber streaks on the pavement. Can your machine track down an individual car by its tires? Is it sensitive enough?"
Megamind smiles. "Trust me." It isn't a friendly smile - it's one of his evil ones (Evil Knowing Smile #4), and it's seen more use over the years than Megamind cares to admit, considering its origins. He had based it off the smile Roxanne wears when she knows something that is going to bring a world of hurt to somebody else. "I know my own work. RS2K12 isn't going to track him down, it's going to sniff him out. And when it does…"
"When it does, you'll call us in," Officer Bradley says, looking Megamind in the eye. "Of course."
Megamind doesn't miss a beat. "Of course," he says blandly, and switches to an innocent expression. Unfortunately, that one doesn't seem to go over as well as the evil smile had. Bradley leans away, and Megamind drops the act. "What's wrong?"
"You look like you're going to go for my throat."
Megamind makes a mental note not to try that again without practicing it some more first. He had gone over it a few times before, but only as Pavel - most of his expressions transfer between faces fairly well due to the faint similarities between bone structure, but 'innocent' is evidently one of the few that only works on Pavel's face. This dual-persona is going to drive him mad, it really is. "Oh. It was meant to look innocent."
Bradley makes a strangled sound, looking as if he's trying not to laugh. "I don't think you and innocent go very well together."
"We really don't!" Megamind exclaims, and starts to follow Bradley towards the house. "My whole career thus far has been based around being as…as extravagantly eeeevil as possible! And now look at me! Helping you!" He points at himself with both hands, then heaves a theatric sigh. "What am I doing with my life?"
"Well, don't take it too hard," Bradley says smoothly. "After all, you are a freak. Nobody really expects you to be anything else."
Megamind glances up sharply, but Bradley just grins and claps him on the back. His expression is completely guileless, which throws Megamind for a bit of a loop. "Come on, Freak," he says cheerfully, and turns to lead Megamind up the front walk, "let's go make headlines!"
Megamind can't stop smiling as they mount the steps. He is used to being called Freak, but not in so friendly a tone. Spontaneous interaction with two younger members of the populace, first-name basis with someone new - a policeman, no less - and a nickname based off a friendly insult? He is on fire tonight.
"Hey, I'm here," Brad announces as he steps onto the porch. "What've I missed?"
"Yeah, jeez, kid," says one of the other officers, and turns around. "What did you find, an interesting-" His gaze falls on Megamind, and he freezes, then drops one hand to his gun. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Evening," Megamind says with a wave, trying to dispel some of the tension. It doesn't work. "Was in the neighborhood, thought I might be able to help."
The other officer's eyes narrow and he squares off with the blue alien - probably without really meaning to, but it sets Megamind on the defensive anyway until he recognizes the man as Officer Jones, first name Frederick, 'Jones' to his friends, 'Fred' to his wife and 'Freddie' to his mistress. Megamind knows from experience that Jones doesn't do anything violent unless absolutely necessary.
"You don't 'think you might be able' to do anything," Jones says flatly. He looks older than Megamind remembers. His face is lined and there's grey at his temples that hadn't been there when Megamind had last seen him. "You either can help us or you can't, and if you couldn't, you wouldn't have bothered to show up."
Now that he's recognized him, Megamind feels a little surer of himself, and his awkward smile turns back into a grin. "How well you know me," he says pleasantly, putting an easy note of singing mischief into his voice. "It's been a while! How's Norma?"
Bradley looks over at Megamind in surprise. "You two know each other?"
Jones doesn't look away from Megamind's face, and he doesn't blink. "Not really," he says. "He probably just remembers me. He remembers everybody."
"It's a gift."
"Fun at parties, I'll bet," says Jones, and the undisguised malice in his voice actually makes Megamind take a step back. He's always known that Jones doesn't like him, but he hadn't thought the man hated him. Jones has always been objective; he's never taken Megamind's antics personally. Has something changed? He tries to think back over the past few months, tries to remember anything that had to do with Jones and those close to him.
"I wouldn't know," he replies carefully, "I don't go to many parties." He wants to ask Jones what the problem is, but something tells him that's probably not a good idea. Maybe Bradley will know. Megamind will ask him about it later, if there's time.
"So," Jones says after a pause. "You can help. How."
Keep things professional. Right. Megamind forces a smile and opens his mouth, but a harsh, grating whirr followed by a series of mechanical clicks drowns out whatever he had been going to say.
Thauuuumk-k-k-k-k.
Jones jumps and spins. The brainbot hovering behind him is larger, brighter, and a lot more rickety-looking than most of the active Host. Megamind's face lights up - mostly with relief at the distraction from an increasingly awkward situation. "RS2K12!" he exclaims, and claps his hands together, bouncing lightly in place. "Excellent." Perfect timing. He glances at Jones, explains, "It's a snifferbot. Now all we need is a piece of the boy's clothing, and we're set."
"Might need more than that." The new voice is female, and Megamind turns to find a third police officer holding out a clipboard. Three, he thinks. Of course. Two in the black-and-white, one in the sedan. "Mercedes Velasquez," she adds, by way of greeting, but she doesn't try to shake Megamind's hand and she doesn't wait for a reply. "Ms. Beauchamp said her son was in costume when he was taken - something about blue, but my French isn't what it used to be. I think she was miming something to do with hats."
Megamind looks at the clipboard. "Blue face paint," he says, then blinks at what's written below it and grins. "And a black costume with blue markings. I like this kid. But you're right," he adds quickly, before anyone can comment. "We should get some of the paint, too. The bot won't need it, but it'll help the search move more quickly."
Mercedes nods. "Right," she says brusquely. "I'll get it."
"That's all right." Megamind waves her aside. "My French is better, I'll ask. Madame!" He steps around her and smiles at Cecil.
Mercedes glances over her shoulder at Megamind's back, then drops her voice. "Where did he come from?" she demands, staring back and forth between Jones and Bradley. "Did one of you call him?"
"Oh sure," Jones says, rolling his eyes at her, "yeah, I can just summon up the city's supervillain whenever I want. Catch me doing that."
Bradley sends him a dirty look before turning back to Mercedes. "He just wandered up," he tells her. "Said he could help. I figure if anybody can track down a kidnapper…"
Mercedes's eyes narrow. "A kid goes missing and he just happens to be in the area? That doesn't sound suspicious to you?"
"Hey now," Bradley protests. "Everyone says he's turned over a new leaf, and you know this isn't his usual MO. Besides, have you seen the training plans he's proposed to the police academy here?"
"Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything." Mercedes looks over her shoulder again in time to see Cecile lead Megamind into the house. "Just 'cause he's changing his game doesn't mean he's turned good. He could just be bored. It's not like we've had a lot of action the past few weeks."
"He could've kidnapped the kid and then showed up to help us find him in order to make himself look better," Jones suggests. "Sort of a 'good PR' plot."
Bradley glares at him.
"What?" Jones protests, spreading his hands. "Anything's possible. You gotta admit, before that whole Titan thing went down, this is exactly the kind of thing Megamind would've done."
"No it is not," Bradley insists. "He never went after a child. Not once. And you know it. Velasquez, you saw the last public fight he was in, you were there with me. Remember?" His tone is pointed, and he stares at her, willing her to make eye contact, but she avoids his gaze.
Megamind's final downtown battle with Metro Man, a few days before the disastrous opening of the museum, had involved a crab-like battle suit with legs controlled by Megamind's fingers. He had looked like he was playing a piano in order to walk. Unfortunately, Megamind was no pianist, so his balance had been off for most of the fight - public speculation afterwards was that the bot had been a prototype intended to be the precursor to something larger and much more effective. The battle had been short-lived, though, because although the streets had cleared quickly, the nearby citizens had simply scattered without looking where they were going, and a few minutes into the fight a girl of about eleven or twelve years had panicked and tried to run to her father across the road. Her path had taken her on a collision course with the off-kilter battle suit. Metro Man had, at the time, been swooping down for a vertical assault, so Megamind's options had been few - he could jump to avoid the girl and slam directly into Metro Man's fist, trample the girl to escape, or slam on the breaks, overbalance, and then get punched by Metro Man.
Startled, the blue alien had reacted on reflex. He had reared back, the massive suit staggering back with him on four of its eight legs and then slamming back down with the girl directly under its midsection. Not good. At the time, no one had been sure whether Metro Man had seen her, and if he had hit the battle suit, he would have driven it into the pavement and crushed her underneath it. And the road Megamind had been on was too narrow and the suit's range of motion too limited for him to make any delicate maneuvers.
He'd had about two seconds to make a decision. He had taken half of one, and had locked the spider's legs in one movement and arched his long body backwards in another to face Metro Man, slamming the tips of his fingers repeatedly into the palm of his other hand in a clear and frantic "time out" signal.
Metro Man's eyes had gone wide as he slammed on the brakes, but by then it was too late; he was already going too fast and this wasn't something either of them had prepared for. Megamind had unlocked the crab's legs, hooked his thumbs together in front of him, and done something with his hands that should have made the machine leap into the air - but he had only done it with one hand. The effect was that the four legs on the left snapped straight while the four legs on the right tried to jump, and the battle suit did a one hundred eighty degree flip and crash-landed upside-down with all eight legs twitching in the air. Which, of course, it really hadn't been built to do, but it had caught the oncoming Metro Man on his way down and slapped him out of the air and out of the way.
Megamind had clawed his way out of the sparking, smoking wreck, suit torn, eyes wild. The girl had still been standing frozen in the middle of the road when he dropped onto the pavement and stared at her as if she'd sprouted a second head. "Have you gone insane?" he had shrieked, flailing his arms to indicate the twisted wreck behind him, the street, the sky. The battle suit's legs twitched some more as he moved his arms, an orchestra of grating machinery sparking in time with a mad conductor. Hopping up and down in spastic flaily fury, Megamind managed to grit out, "What-possessed you-to run out in front of that?"
Then Metro Man had slammed into him, throwing him to the ground a few yards away. "Get off the road!" Metro Man had shouted over his shoulder as he'd zoomed to drag Megamind to his feet.
A rumor had started after the fight that the people standing nearest had heard Megamind mutter, "Kids these days," and that Metro Man had responded with a shrug and a, "Tell you what," before tossing him into the side of a building, but most people agreed that any such claims were totally ridiculous and did not bear repeating.
Bradley crosses his arms over his chest. "You were there, Velasquez."
Mercedes scoffs. "Oh come on, everybody knows he just didn't want to go in for murder. Speaking of which…" Her gaze sharpens and her sudden smile doesn't reach her eyes. "Have you just forgotten that he killed Metro Man?" She raises an eyebrow at him, and he looks away. "It's been over a year, now, and I have yet to see any initiative from anybody to even attempt to exact some sort of penalty. And the last time I checked, 'It was an accident!' wasn't a valid court defense." When Bradley doesn't say anything, she continues, encouraged. "Is everybody in this city so damn fickle that we'll all just bleat happily along after whatever freak is willing to throw a few punches in front of some cameras?"
Bradley sighs and opens his mouth, then blinks at something over her shoulder and offers up a huge fake smile that looks more like a grimace. "Heyyyyy!"
Mercedes turns and sets her jaw defensively, but Megamind is just standing there with his hands in his pockets and an awkward smile on his face. "Yeah," he says slowly, "If you think that calling me a 'freak' is going to bother me…" He trails off and shakes his head. "Sorry. I got used to that one ages ago. We're talking grade school ages ago."
Mercedes manages not to look at all abashed. "Yes, well. I think you'll notice that I made a fairly valid point."
Megamind inclines his head in an agreeable nod. "And I think," he says, "that you'll notice I'm not arguing that point." His voice is light and pleasant, and Mercedes blinks.
Megamind smiles suddenly. "Right then!" he declares, and pulls a plastic ziplock bag out of the pocket of his coat. "Let's get this show on the road! RS2K12, come!"
The bot thaums and emerges from where it's been nosing around in a tangle of shrubbery, zips up to its master and circles him with something that looks a lot like enthusiasm - Megamind has to lift his arms a little to keep the bot from running into him. "Hey, whoa," he says, laughing. "We're working here, you little doof, you're going to make us look bad!" He plants one hand squarely on the sparking dome and points at the eyestalk with the other. "Settle." The sternness of his voice is somewhat ruined by the fact that he looks like he's trying very hard not to laugh.
RS2K12 thaums again and hovers, bobbing up and down in the air. It makes a harsher sound than the few Bradley's heard calling to each other before - lower, roughter, almost rattling - and if Bradley hadn't known better, he would have sworn the thing sounded impatient. Megamind grin grows wider and he plants both palms on his thighs, bending forward and beaming at the robot. "Yes yes yes," he says, and holds up the bag. The sparks inside the bot's dome go wild and its eyestalk quivers. "Yes. Wanna play Find the Wrench? Find the Wrench? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do. Ah-ah, no," he adds warningly when the robot thaums loudly and starts to circle him again. It stops and hovers. "Good. That's a good evil cyborg. Yes."
Megamind unzips the bag and goes to one knee to look the bot in the eye, and his face goes very abruptly and unexpectedly serious. He drops the master-to-friendly-dog tone. "Okay, mark me," he tells the bot, and holds up three gloved fingers. It immediately stops bobbing in the air and watches him. "Three rules. One." He pauses for a moment. "New Wrench. You can't cheat on this one, you don't have its signature in your database." The bot's eyestalk flickers once, and Megamind folds down a finger. "Two. Priority Alpha. Stream all related information to all bots not currently on Watch or Guard." He takes his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and unlocks it, then holds it out to RS2K12. The three police officers lean forward.
"…Is that a QR code?" Jones asks, astonished. Megamind doesn't reply. RS2K12 scans the phone display with its eyestalk, then blinks twice, and Megamind puts his phone back in his pocket and folds down another finger
"Three," he says, and hesitates for just an instant before enunciating clearly, "Primum non nocere. The exceptions were in the streaming info, but I'm green-lighting an immediate temporary shutdown of any individual or group that attempts to override them." Thaum, says RS2K12, and blinks three times. Megamind half-smiles. "Good. Now, one last thing." He lowers his hand, then takes a small, silver picture frame out of his pocket and shows it to the bot. "This is the wrench. I know your visuals tend to fritz a lot, I want you to rely on smell," he says, and darned if he doesn't sound like he's trying to reassure it, "but if you see this boy, mark me - Guard. Protect. Call for backup and send one of the A-7s to find me, do not leave the target. Got all that?"
The bot makes a twittering sound and tilts sharply forward, knocking into Megamind's forehead and throwing him off-balance. Jones inhales sharply and takes a few steps back, one hand on his weapon, but Megamind just laughs and pushes the brainbot away, then gets to his feet. "Okay," he tells it. "Go get the wrench!"
The clear dome blinks once like a camera flashbulb and the robot zips down the walk. Megamind immediately pulls out his phone again and slides it open, thumbs blurring on the keypad, green eyes intent on the small screen.
The three officers look at one another. Finally Bradley clears his throat. "So…what happens now?"
"Hang on."
The silence that descends is awkward and broken only by the tak-takking of Megamind's fingers on the keypad. Mercedes stares at his hands and cannot help but ask. "So d'you play an instrument, or something?"
"Nnnnope…" Megamind sticks his tongue out a little, brow furrowing in concentration. "…I just have good reflexes…" He scowls and gives his head a little shake, mutters something under his breath. "You have to be quick in my…line…of…" He stays like that for a moment, lower lip held lightly between his teeth as his thumbs move even faster, "…work," he finishes, and grins, stabs the screen with a finger. "Done!"
Jones blinks at him suspiciously. "What did you just do?"
"Oh, nothing." And then, probably realizing how that sounds, Megamind clarifies, "A bit of a trick with any surveillance cameras not on a closed circuit and some basic facial recognition software. And a mass text. Had to see if anybody knows anything."
Jones' face goes carefully blank and Mercedes's lip curls, but Bradley just looks confused. "What? Who? Wouldn't we have heard something if they did?"
Megamind snorts. "From my contacts? I doubt it." Then he sighs and drops his phone back into his pocket. "As far as what happens now goes…I've done all I can for the time being. It's your scene, now."
Bradley and Jones look at each other. "Not much of a scene," Bradley admits. "We were just here to collect the missing persons report and get some data on the kid's description. What was all that stuff with the QR code? Find the wrench?"
Megamind grins a little bit. "Oh, that. Right. That's a game I play with them. With the newer runs, the visual runs, it operates like 'fetch.' I throw a wrench - oh don't look so surprised, wrenches are perfect for throwing - and they catch it and bring it back. But the older runs are more fine-tuned than that. Minion and I used to hide tools around the Lair and have them try to smell them out."
Bradley's mouth twitches as he tries not to laugh. "And the QR code?"
"Detailed instructions for any bot that might locate Maxence before RS2K12 does."
"Hey, listen!"
The officers jump, and Megamind looks surprised. "That was fast," he murmurs, and checks his phone.
nada in d mx, sum boyz mayB putN n wrk uptwn
He frowns, but doesn't ask about what "work" the boys are putting in. If the Duke of York says there's nothing in the mix, then anything after that isn't important.
Mercedes grits her teeth. "That's your text message alert? Navi?" She shakes her head.
"That's just evil," Bradley protests, and Megamind glances up.
"Hullo there!" He's already texting a reply. "I'm Megamind. Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of All Villainy, emphasis on the Villainy." He looks back at his phone as he finishes the message. "…Gang…question mark. And send. Anyway, sorry, I'll put it on vibrate."
"Hey, listen!" This time even Megamind jumps and stares down at his phone, then up at the three officers. "Is there some kind of action happening tonight I wasn't aware of?" he asks, confused. "I didn't see any new graffiti."
"Not that we know of," Mercedes tells him.
Megamind shrugs. "Must be negotiations or something," he mutters. But when he slides the phone open, he frowns even harder than last time. Bradley leans forward, craning his head around to read the reply to whatever Megamind had sent.
all kool here u ask DoY boys yet
Mass txt, Megamind replies. Asked everyone, no word.
He slides the phone closed and looks up. "I don't like it," he says quietly. "Something's up. The Dukes haven't heard anything." His phone buzzes again and he glances down - a second text from Lancaster. U got a 20? Im bord. He half-smiles.
I'll let you know, he replies, hits send, and looks up again to find Mercedes looking at him dubiously. "What?"
"Why do you have the Dukes' numbers in your phone?"
He shrugs. "I grew up in a prison," he says shortly. "I know everybody in the system. And I don't have their numbers in my phone, either."
"But you-"
"I told you," Jones interrupts. "He remembers everything." Then he looks at Megamind. "So according to you, we're supposed to just sit tight and wait until your machine calls you?"
Megamind nods.
Jones stares at him. "With no information? Nothing to go on? We just sit and wait?"
Megamind blinks at him and tries not to get too angry. He understands that the police aren't used to his help, he understands that many of them have very personal grudges against him, and he understands that sitting and waiting goes against what they've been trained to do. He also understands that, in their experience and as far as most of them know, he has historically been little more than a dangerous nuisance, just a half-mad inventor with a criminal bent. Megamind himself has put time and energy into maintaining that image, so he understands perfectly well that trusting him to be competent and serious after so many years of watching him fail - most of those failures accompanied by bright lights and fanfare - is difficult for them.
The police force is just another branch of the city's government, really. Megamind has spent the past few months attending meetings, planning, arguing, designing, proposing, and generally putting his hand into every aspect of the Metro City Rebuild Project. And, for the most part, the city's officials and various boards and cabinets have come to recognize that he is a lot less insane than they had previously supposed. But the police have been intimately acquainted with Megamind for all of his life, and he fully expects that gaining even some of their trust is going to be just as much work as keeping his previous reputation.
So he'll just have to start now.
"Look, I'm not asking you to trust me," Megamind says frankly, and drops all acts. He stands and talks as normally as he can - no extravagant gestures, no wild facial expressions. It's not something the police are used to seeing, from him, and he's hoping to maybe catch their attention. "I'm not even asking you to work with me, and I apologize if I gave you that impression. I came here tonight because I knew I could do more than you could at this time, so you and I are going to have to work alongside one another for the time being. You want to find this kid, I want to find this kid - we have a common goal, but we don't have to work together." He stops talking and looks steadily at each of them. When no answer is forthcoming, he continues, "As I said, I've done all I can. As far as I'm concerned, you should go and do whatever you can. And I'll help you do it," he adds, "if you'll have me."
Jones stares hard at him for a long moment, then nods. "All right," he says brusquely. "Tell me why we should trust you."
"You shouldn't." Megamind raises his eyebrows a little and shrugs, but that's all. "As far as you know, I'm an unknown variable. I'll give you my word that I'm on your side, but I don't expect you to actually believe me."
Jones nods again, but his expression remains as unreadable as before. "Fair enough. So tell me why you think you'd be of use to us."
If Megamind hadn't wanted to try to start building trust - if this were a one-time thing, or if the events of the past year hadn't taken place, he might have said something like, Helloo-oo, genius! and pointed at his head, or snorted and asked how he wouldn't be of use. As it is, he returns Jones' nod, an acknowledgment that he understands why the officer is asking him these questions. "I'm smart. I'm strong. I have resources coming out of my ears. I have contacts and connections in just about every underground group in Metro City and much of the surrounding area. I even have a few international connections, but I don't think they'll be of much use in this case." He pauses for a moment as if considering. "I also refuse to work for you in any official capacity, so if anything happens that would reflect poorly on you or your people, I can take the fall for it and your reputations will remain intact."
Mercedes speaks up, her tone as guarded as Jones'. "You're a vigilante. A wild card."
Megamind levels his gaze at her. "That doesn't mean you can't benefit from my amorality." He waits, but Mercedes and Jones just look at each other. After a moment, Mercedes cocks an eyebrow. Jones shakes his head a little. Megamind watches them for a few seconds more. "So, am I working with you or am I working alone?"
"That depends," Jones says slowly. "If we say we'd rather stand away from you on this one, and you find something out, are you going to withhold that information?"
Megamind shakes his head. "Like I said, I want this kid found. Withholding information from you wouldn't do any good."
Jones regards Megamind in stony silence for another long minute, and Megamind shifts his weight a little, wishing he could tell what the man is thinking. He tends to be pretty good at reading people, but Jones is a closed book. "Would you be more efficient working with us or alone?" For the first time, he smiles a little. "I want to find this boy, too."
Megamind starts to reply, then pauses. Some of the 'resources' he's thinking of using might be difficult for the officers to accept. "My efficiency would be the same either way," he says at last. He sounds cautious; he's trying to speak as delicately as possible. "But if you do accept my offer…you may be faced with some…ethical dilemmas? Further on this evening?"
"Whatever you're trying to say, say it," Mercedes says flatly.
"Lancaster is bored," Megamind says, equally flatly, looking at her. "And I think he could be of use to us, depending on where the kid turns up and when."
Jones' expression, which had been almost thoughtful, immediately slams closed again. "We can't work with him. And he won't work with us, he might even try to attack us if we show up with you. We'd have to try to bring him in."
"Or call a truce," Bradley says, speaking for the first time. All three of the others turn to look at him, and he flushes a little and crosses his arms over his chest, switching to a more defensive posture. "Look, you both said it," he snaps. "We want to find Maxence. And either way, whether we work with Freak or not, he's gonna be bringing Lancaster into the equation. Right?" he asks, and glances at Megamind, who shrugs and nods and, again, does not protest to being called 'Freak.' Bradley nods too and looks back at the other two officers. "Okay, so our choice is not whether or not we have to work with one of the Dukes - our choice is whether or not we want the MCPD to be affiliated at all with whatever outcome occurs. I think we all know," he continues, sounding more than a little bit exasperated, "that, no matter what we do, he's gonna get there first." He points at Megamind. "You've seen his tech. You heard what he said to that thing. He's got the whole Host out looking for this kid-"
"Not the whole Host," Megamind mutters, trying not to look embarrassed. He doesn't get a lot of people arguing for him, and he almost never gets recognized as being at all competent.
Bradley stumbles a bit and glances at him. "All right, fine, he's got host of the Most…" he pauses. "Most of…fuck, whatever. But you see my point, right?" He looks back and forth between Jones and Mercedes, both of whom appear to be leaning towards grudging agreement. "We can send every free officer we have out searching, but Megamind will still get there first. And when the newspaper comes out tomorrow, which headline do you think will look better for us: 'Megamind and West Reds rescue missing child, MCPD nowhere to be seen,' or, 'MCPD buries hatchet, teams up with ex-villain and West Reds to rescue missing child'?" He stops and looks at them, daring them to disagree. "One of those headlines implies that we're bunch of incompetent duffers who hide behind rule books, and the other one tells people that we will do whatever it takes to get the job done and protect the people of Metro City. I, personally, would rather be affiliated with the latter assertion."
Megamind stares at him. He hadn't expected that kind of speech from any of Metro City's finest, and he really hadn't expected Bradley to be so articulate off the top of his head.
And apparently, Bradley isn't done. He squares his shoulders and faces Jones head-on. "You know, Sir, I remember I was about to graduate from the Police Academy just before Metro Man died and the city went to shit - no offense," he adds quickly, glancing at Megamind again.
Megamind holds up his hands and shakes his head, signals for Bradley to continue. The wording the officer used hasn't escaped him, though - Metro Man died, not, he killed Metro Man. It's a small nuance and probably unintentional, but it means a lot to Megamind. More than he'd like to admit.
"Right, well, I remember watching the news and thinking, wow. Wow. A full police barricade, helicopters and SWAT team armed to the teeth, couldn't stop one guy- one guy - and a mechanical gorilla from taking over the city." He sucks his teeth for a moment, blinking very rapidly in agitation, and Megamind thinks that this is something that has probably been bothering the young man for a while. "That," the young officer finishes, "ispathetic."
He stops talking, then, and looks around to find Megamind studying him, an odd little smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "You're not from here, are you?" Megamind asks.
Bradley shrugs. He still looks irritated, but he doesn't look irritated at Megamind. "I'm from Manhattan. Why?"
Because you see me objectively, Megamind doesn't tell him. Because the only person I know who is from Metro City and wasn't taken in by the whole charade is Roxanne Ritchi, and I'm pretty sure that's only because she saw more of me than anyone else ever did. My Random Acts of Villainy were specifically designed and carried out over the years to inspire fear and hold the citizens in thrall so that my authority would never be called into question. And it had worked, too. No one had noticed how many jobs his destruction had created. No one had noticed that he went out of his way to avoid hurting people - even if they had, no one had dared call him out on it. The few who had tried, had only tried once; he had made sure of that. Nobody except the newcomers and Roxanne.
"No reason," he says lightly. "Just a hunch."
"All right," Jones says, and they both look at him. He doesn't look happy, but he does look resigned. "We'll follow you."
"You don't need to follow me," Megamind begins, but stops when Jones bristles, brown eyes flashing dangerously.
"Don't you dare stand there and lie to me," the older officer snaps. "You're the reigning power in this city. Everybody knows that your word is final. Nobody disobeys you. And in this case, you're the expert, and we'll follow you. So tell me," he finishes. "What do we do?"
Megamind smiles, wide and white. It isn't one of his catalogued grins, either - it's a real smile, and it shows. He honestly hadn't expected Jones' support, and the fact that Jones has actually agreed to go along with him has given Megamind no small measure of respect for the man. Jones still doesn't like him and doesn't trust him, but he's willing - as Bradley had said - to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Megamind knows how hard it is to ignore deep-seated prejudices and sentiments. And he also knows that thanking Jones will only irritate him.
So he just smiles. "We wait."
Back to Chapter 2
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Onward to chapter three! I own nothing.
Chapter 3
"I've called the police," Roxanne tells Megamind as soon as he's back up on the porch. "They said they'll be here soon." She nods at the young mother, who has draped herself in a white porch chair and is staring into space. "Her name's Cecile Beauchamp." She pauses. "I'm not sure how much more we can do beyond stay with her until the police arrive."
Megamind considers for a moment. He hates to just leave without really doing anything. It feels like leaving a project half-done. "I might be able to do more than that," he admits.
Roxanne raises an eyebrow. "Without blowing your cover?"
He sends her a Look and grins. "Roxanne. Please. You're talking to the massssster of disguise."
Evidently that means something different to Roxanne than it does to him because Roxanne takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment, looking as if she's trying very hard not to laugh. "I certainly hope not," she manages.
He blinks at her. She blinks back expectantly. "I'm…I think I just missed a culture reference."
Roxanne snorts. "You didn't miss much," she assures him. Then she glances at Cecile. "But you didn't answer my question."
Megamind hesitates. He would need an article of the boy's clothing to give to a brainbot - one of the older models, probably a 6.9. They'd been the last of the olfactory-to-visual sensors, just before he'd switched over to ultrasonic echolocation as the brainbots' main method of "seeing." But he'd only made a few of them, and as with all his designs, the first few he made tended to be the loudest and brightest of the run; in the case of the 6.9s, the first few had ended up being the only few. So no hope of running a quiet search behind the scenes. He runs through a few options in his head - he could always plant a few false trails and let slip that he and Megamind traded data back and forth and add that the blue ex-villain had owed him a favor so he'd borrowed a brainbot, but someone would be sure to cry 'foul' about that if only because it would have been too coincidental. Too handy an excuse. Also, since when does Megamind share data?
Still, he might have been able to pull it off by just abandoning his disguise if he hadn't made that very public appearance only a few minutes ago. The existence of the disguise generator is common knowledge at this point because of his Metro Man charade back in July, so it wouldn't take a genius to connect the dots - just someone paranoid enough to make the accusation. And the citizens of Metro City have come to associate him with Roxanne in both personas, but not at the same time, so if anybody notices that Pavel and Megamind were both in close proximity to Roxanne…maybe he's just being too cautious. But no, Joey had looked and sounded entirely too familiar with him when Megamind had approached the second time - he had figured it out, Megamind is almost certain. All it would take is some gossip mentioning Roxanne Ritchi had been in the neighborhood and he'd be a goner.
Then again, he could just wait until morning to join the investigation, and claim that he had left after talking with Joey and Nick and then seen news of the child's disappearance in the papers. But no, that won't work either, because people are going to be running back over all his activities as Pavel as soon as he and Roxanne go public. When that happens, this will pop up; if the news that he waited twelve hours to help when he knew a little boy might be in danger ever went public…well, that's another black mark that he just can't afford to have on his record.
There is no way he can help with this investigation as Pavel or Megamind without tipping somebody off or jeopardizing his character later on. The safest thing for him to do - the only thing for him to do - is to walk away.
He sighs and shakes his head. Roxanne is watching him curiously - he had taken a lot longer to think through that one than usual. "No. Not without potentially blowing my cover, no."
Whirling lights play across smudged white siding, the red-white-blue effect at odds with the Halloween orange-and-black theme. Megamind and Roxanne turn. A police car and a grey sedan with blacked-out wheels have pulled up to the curb.
Roxanne heaves a sigh. "Well, that's that," she murmurs.
"I guess it is," Megamind agrees reluctantly. He looks at Cecile and attempts an encouraging smile. "Bonne chance."
She looks up and tries to smile back, but her eyes are over-bright. "Merci."
As they head towards the street, Roxanne is stopped by the officer who had stepped out of the sedan. Megamind waits by the mailbox. "You the one who called it in?"
Roxanne nods. "I already told the dispatcher everything I knew," she says. "It wasn't much. Definitely not enough to be useful. Sorry."
The officer says something else, Megamind can't quite catch it, but it must be some form of dismissal because a few seconds later Roxanne is coming towards him. "Shame about all this," she remarks as they set off down the street together. Megamind doesn't answer, just flicks the collar of Pavel's coat up around his ears and then shoves his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders. "Halloween's a dangerous time. Lots of kids in masks, lots of adults in masks, a dark street…easy to snatch a kid out from under his mom's nose." She shakes her head. "Poor woman. I hope they find him." Then she realizes that Megamind is no longer walking beside her.
They've gone maybe a block and a half, and the street that had been so busy just a few minutes ago is now almost entirely empty - everyone else has gone inside or has their attention focused on the Beauchamp home. Megamind is standing in the middle of the road, scowling straight ahead. Confused, Roxanne takes a step towards him. "Meg…Pavel?"
He lets out a soft huff and turns around, looks back at the Beauchamp house and the whirling lights. He shakes his head, turns back, and looks at Roxanne. He licks his lips and starts to take a step towards her-
And stops, his frustrated scowl turning pained. He turns in a small circle, paces like a tiger in a cage. Looks at the house. Bounces impatiently on the balls of his feet. Roxanne knows these movements all too well: it's Megamind's 'frustration dance.'
Then he lets out a breath and his hunched shoulders fall. "Ghaaaaah," he groans, and spins, and begins to stalk back the way he came, twisting the watch.
Roxanne darts forward, catches his elbow before anybody notices. "What are you doing?"
"I have to," he says quietly.
"But you just said-"
"I know what I just said," he snaps, and his voice is unexpectedly sharp. Roxanne falters. She's seen Megamind look like this before: he's doing something that he has to do, whether he wants to or not. "Look around you. Look at this neighborhood." Roxanne glances to either side. It certainly isn't a slum, but it isn't exactly high-income, either. Megamind sounds resigned. "Whoever kidnapped that boy isn't looking for a high ransom. This is about something else. And in my experience, kids and 'something else's tend not to blend well."
Roxanne slumps, but she knows it's no use arguing with Megamind when his jaw clenches like that. "What can I do?"
"You can leave."
She stares at him, already starting to protest, but he cuts her off. "People will talk as it is, and I don't want them to see us together. We can't afford to let that happen." He half-smiles, flutters a hand towards her hair. "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
'He's right. The annoying thing is that he's right. Dammit. She huffs a sigh, and her breath puffs white in the dark air. "I'll go see our grouchy friend," she says. "I'm going to go help him pack. You can come find me there."
Megamind, to her surprise, agrees. "Good. And see if you can figure out why he's acting so weird."
"He always acts weird," Roxanne points out, and Megamind shrugs reluctantly.
Roxanne is quiet for a moment. Megamind had said something earlier about Bernard seeming 'off,' and if he's bringing that up again now, the subject is still bothering him. Megamind isn't one to worry over frivolities, either - if he's still thinking about it, something is probably wrong. Roxanne nods and punches him gently in the shoulder, as she had the first time he had shown up as Bernard. And she smiles, but her eyes are serious. "I'll see what I can do."
Megamind smiles back. "Thanks."
As soon as Roxanne is out of earshot, he pulls out his cell phone and dials his input code, then enters the ID number for Dante, one of the newer brainbots. He instructs Dante to send him RS2K12, one of the unnamed 6.9s, then puts the phone away. Modifying the cell phone signals so that Megamind wouldn't need to contact Minion if he was away from the lair and get him to send out the bots had been Minion's idea, one with which Megamind had enthusiastically agreed. Previously, if Minion had been out when Megamind called, Megamind had been forced to wait until Minion could contact a brainbot. There were situations where he simply could not afford to wait. Luckily, nothing too dire has come up yet, but Megamind is very good at conceiving of situations where waiting for a brainbot could lead to nuclear holocaust-they're incredibly far-fetched, but they could happen.
Luckily, RS2K12 shouldn't take too long, so Megamind takes a deep breath and heads back towards the Beauchamp house. As dark as it is outside, there are lights enough to see fairly well, and one of the police officers who's still out near the street spots him before he gets too close.
It's actually kind of funny to watch the indecision play out - Megamind, after all, has only just resigned his position as Metro City's resident supervillain, and every instinct in the cop's brain is telling him to shout, or pull his gun, or do something. But Megamind is grinning, and both his hands are visible, and he has resigned as the resident supervillian, and he can almost see the giant 'Now What?' blinking like a neon sign above the cop's head.
Finally the officer just walks out to meet him, obviously nervous but hiding it well. "Hey," he says, and he sounds friendly enough, but his face, like Nick's earlier, is still screaming this-is-weird. "Can I, um. Can I help you? Sir?"
Megamind comes to a stop facing him and cocks his head. It's odd, he thinks, but this is the first time he's stood face-to-face with someone and just talked. In his true form, that is, without having met for a council meeting or presentation or proposal - that business with Nick and Joey felt different, somehow, than this does. How far away is he supposed to stand? Is he standing too close, or is this okay? And what is he supposed to do with his hands? He wants to put them in the pockets of his coat, but the caped disguise the holowatch is projecting doesn't have pockets, and he isn't actually sure how the device would compensate-he hardly wants to look like he's clutching his thighs. Crossing his arms over his chest would make him look defensive. He takes a deep breath, pauses, and then lets it out and just turns off the disguise generator. He doesn't want to have to worry about it, and now he'll be able to put his hands in his pockets. That taken care of, he smiles brightly at the police officer. "You know, I was going to say the same thing."
The officer opens his mouth, then closes it and frowns. He's quite a young man, Megamind realizes. Probably why he came over instead of yelling - he doesn't have the 'Megamind! Run!' mentality that older officers do. He must be fairly new to the force; Megamind doesn't recognize him. "Actually, I have no idea. Can you?"
Megamind shrugs. "I've got one of the brainbots on the way. One of the older models - depending on when you joined up, I'm not sure if you'd recognize it." Then he grins in what he hopes is a charming and disarming manner. "But even without the brainbot, nobody knows more about kidnapping than I do."
The officer lets out a quick, awkward laugh, and nods. "Yeah, I'll…I'll give you that," he agrees. Megamind laughs, too, and he sounds just as uncomfortable as the young policeman. He resists the urge to scuff a foot on the ground.
Think of something to say, he thinks desperately. Small talk. What did Roxanne say to do in these situations? Make light of the problem? "So, hey," he says, still laughing a little bit, his gaze darting around the dark street, "the, ah. The elephant in the room. It's more of a mammoth, isn't it?"
The officer lets out a short laugh and appears to relax a little bit. "Yeah, sorry, this…this is kinda weird for me. I mean. Didn't really expect to see you here. In, you know." He waves at Megamind's chest. "Normal clothes. Just talking."
Megamind raises his eyebrows, nods eagerly, grins. "It's bizarre, right?"
The policeman flashes a half-smile, then sticks out his hand before the awkward silence has a chance to return. "Officer Bradley," he says.
Megamind shakes it. "Megamind," he says, because he can't just not say anything, but he's aware that that's the second time tonight he's done that, and he tries to make it sound like a joke. He's going to have to figure out a way to respond when people do that. At city functions, he tends to just nod and look as grave and professional as he can, but the social norms are different for different situations. "Do you have a first name, or should I just call you 'Officer?'"
"Bradley."
Oh. Megamind opens his mouth, closes it again, smiles weakly. He isn't surprised, but still, he had hoped that maybe he could make some kind of connection with at least one member of the MCPD. "Last-name basis, then, that's…I mean, that's cool too."
"No." Bradley waves a hand, grinning ruefully. "No. My name is Bradley. Or Brad. Either way."
Megamind blinks a few times, uncertain, and finally decides that the safest thing for him to do is to just ask and get the confusion out of the way. "Just to clarify," he says cautiously, "your first…and last…names are both Bradley?" Bradley shrugs and nods, and Megamind says the first thing that pops into his head. "Wow. Your parents must have hated you."
Which, of course, he immediately regrets, but Bradley snorts. "You know, sometimes, I used to wonder. Bradley No Middle Name Bradley. Used to get made fun of all the time in school."
Megamind chuckles. "I know what that's like," he mutters, then spreads his hands. "But hey, if it's any consolation, my name isn't exactly normal either."
Bradley looks like he doesn't quite know what to make of this information. "What is it?"
"Megamind." And then, when Bradley just looks at him, he shakes his head and grins. "No, seriously. Mega No Middle Name Mind. Technically," he says, "I am Mr. Mind. But they used to call me Blue, in school."
Bradley grins back. "Can't imagine why."
"Well, Blue or Freak," Megamind admits. "One or the other. Sometimes both. But, you know, water under the bridge and all that." Inwardly, where Bradley cannot see or hear, Megamind is cheering. Because he's having a conversation. A real, honest-to-God conversation, with a real person who isn't Roxanne and isn't a politician or board member or CEO or someone he's trying to impress, and it isn't awkward or weird. It's amazing. He feels like his grin is going to leap right off his face.
"Kids can be cruel," Bradley agrees, nodding. "We see it all the time. But I notice you never blew away your school."
"Nooooo," Megamind says slowly, and decides that these are dangerous waters and he should probably steer the conversation back to the original subject, because as thrilling as it is to be bantering normally, he's not sure how long he can keep it up. And, of course, there's a crisis occurring. "No, I never did. Killing, you know, killing…that's just…well, that's just inelegant. There's no trick to it. Kidnapping, on the other hand," he adds, "is tricky, especially if you don't know what you're doing. Which is why I am here!"
"Right! Right, yes, back on track." Bradley nods again. He sounds just as relieved as Megamind is to be back on professional ground, and Megamind realizes with some surprise that they're probably both in the same boat as far as the other is concerned. Neither of them has any idea what to do or say and they're each trying to take their cues from the other - and what's more, they probably both realize what's happening but can't figure out how to stop doing it. It makes him feel a little better. "So. Brainbot. You said you're waiting for an older model?"
"It's one of the 6.9s," Megamind explains. "It's the last run I designed that navigated solely by synthetic olfactory-sensor visuals, although I upgraded this one to use optical navigation as well. But that tends to cut in and out, since I didn't prepare for any upgrades in the original design."
Bradley looks blank. "Come again?"
"It's a snifferbot."
"Oh!" Then he frowns, and his tone turns dubious. "You really think it'll work? The kid was taken in a car. All we have so far are a couple rubber streaks on the pavement. Can your machine track down an individual car by its tires? Is it sensitive enough?"
Megamind smiles. "Trust me." It isn't a friendly smile - it's one of his evil ones (Evil Knowing Smile #4), and it's seen more use over the years than Megamind cares to admit, considering its origins. He had based it off the smile Roxanne wears when she knows something that is going to bring a world of hurt to somebody else. "I know my own work. RS2K12 isn't going to track him down, it's going to sniff him out. And when it does…"
"When it does, you'll call us in," Officer Bradley says, looking Megamind in the eye. "Of course."
Megamind doesn't miss a beat. "Of course," he says blandly, and switches to an innocent expression. Unfortunately, that one doesn't seem to go over as well as the evil smile had. Bradley leans away, and Megamind drops the act. "What's wrong?"
"You look like you're going to go for my throat."
Megamind makes a mental note not to try that again without practicing it some more first. He had gone over it a few times before, but only as Pavel - most of his expressions transfer between faces fairly well due to the faint similarities between bone structure, but 'innocent' is evidently one of the few that only works on Pavel's face. This dual-persona is going to drive him mad, it really is. "Oh. It was meant to look innocent."
Bradley makes a strangled sound, looking as if he's trying not to laugh. "I don't think you and innocent go very well together."
"We really don't!" Megamind exclaims, and starts to follow Bradley towards the house. "My whole career thus far has been based around being as…as extravagantly eeeevil as possible! And now look at me! Helping you!" He points at himself with both hands, then heaves a theatric sigh. "What am I doing with my life?"
"Well, don't take it too hard," Bradley says smoothly. "After all, you are a freak. Nobody really expects you to be anything else."
Megamind glances up sharply, but Bradley just grins and claps him on the back. His expression is completely guileless, which throws Megamind for a bit of a loop. "Come on, Freak," he says cheerfully, and turns to lead Megamind up the front walk, "let's go make headlines!"
Megamind can't stop smiling as they mount the steps. He is used to being called Freak, but not in so friendly a tone. Spontaneous interaction with two younger members of the populace, first-name basis with someone new - a policeman, no less - and a nickname based off a friendly insult? He is on fire tonight.
"Hey, I'm here," Brad announces as he steps onto the porch. "What've I missed?"
"Yeah, jeez, kid," says one of the other officers, and turns around. "What did you find, an interesting-" His gaze falls on Megamind, and he freezes, then drops one hand to his gun. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Evening," Megamind says with a wave, trying to dispel some of the tension. It doesn't work. "Was in the neighborhood, thought I might be able to help."
The other officer's eyes narrow and he squares off with the blue alien - probably without really meaning to, but it sets Megamind on the defensive anyway until he recognizes the man as Officer Jones, first name Frederick, 'Jones' to his friends, 'Fred' to his wife and 'Freddie' to his mistress. Megamind knows from experience that Jones doesn't do anything violent unless absolutely necessary.
"You don't 'think you might be able' to do anything," Jones says flatly. He looks older than Megamind remembers. His face is lined and there's grey at his temples that hadn't been there when Megamind had last seen him. "You either can help us or you can't, and if you couldn't, you wouldn't have bothered to show up."
Now that he's recognized him, Megamind feels a little surer of himself, and his awkward smile turns back into a grin. "How well you know me," he says pleasantly, putting an easy note of singing mischief into his voice. "It's been a while! How's Norma?"
Bradley looks over at Megamind in surprise. "You two know each other?"
Jones doesn't look away from Megamind's face, and he doesn't blink. "Not really," he says. "He probably just remembers me. He remembers everybody."
"It's a gift."
"Fun at parties, I'll bet," says Jones, and the undisguised malice in his voice actually makes Megamind take a step back. He's always known that Jones doesn't like him, but he hadn't thought the man hated him. Jones has always been objective; he's never taken Megamind's antics personally. Has something changed? He tries to think back over the past few months, tries to remember anything that had to do with Jones and those close to him.
"I wouldn't know," he replies carefully, "I don't go to many parties." He wants to ask Jones what the problem is, but something tells him that's probably not a good idea. Maybe Bradley will know. Megamind will ask him about it later, if there's time.
"So," Jones says after a pause. "You can help. How."
Keep things professional. Right. Megamind forces a smile and opens his mouth, but a harsh, grating whirr followed by a series of mechanical clicks drowns out whatever he had been going to say.
Thauuuumk-k-k-k-k.
Jones jumps and spins. The brainbot hovering behind him is larger, brighter, and a lot more rickety-looking than most of the active Host. Megamind's face lights up - mostly with relief at the distraction from an increasingly awkward situation. "RS2K12!" he exclaims, and claps his hands together, bouncing lightly in place. "Excellent." Perfect timing. He glances at Jones, explains, "It's a snifferbot. Now all we need is a piece of the boy's clothing, and we're set."
"Might need more than that." The new voice is female, and Megamind turns to find a third police officer holding out a clipboard. Three, he thinks. Of course. Two in the black-and-white, one in the sedan. "Mercedes Velasquez," she adds, by way of greeting, but she doesn't try to shake Megamind's hand and she doesn't wait for a reply. "Ms. Beauchamp said her son was in costume when he was taken - something about blue, but my French isn't what it used to be. I think she was miming something to do with hats."
Megamind looks at the clipboard. "Blue face paint," he says, then blinks at what's written below it and grins. "And a black costume with blue markings. I like this kid. But you're right," he adds quickly, before anyone can comment. "We should get some of the paint, too. The bot won't need it, but it'll help the search move more quickly."
Mercedes nods. "Right," she says brusquely. "I'll get it."
"That's all right." Megamind waves her aside. "My French is better, I'll ask. Madame!" He steps around her and smiles at Cecil.
Mercedes glances over her shoulder at Megamind's back, then drops her voice. "Where did he come from?" she demands, staring back and forth between Jones and Bradley. "Did one of you call him?"
"Oh sure," Jones says, rolling his eyes at her, "yeah, I can just summon up the city's supervillain whenever I want. Catch me doing that."
Bradley sends him a dirty look before turning back to Mercedes. "He just wandered up," he tells her. "Said he could help. I figure if anybody can track down a kidnapper…"
Mercedes's eyes narrow. "A kid goes missing and he just happens to be in the area? That doesn't sound suspicious to you?"
"Hey now," Bradley protests. "Everyone says he's turned over a new leaf, and you know this isn't his usual MO. Besides, have you seen the training plans he's proposed to the police academy here?"
"Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything." Mercedes looks over her shoulder again in time to see Cecile lead Megamind into the house. "Just 'cause he's changing his game doesn't mean he's turned good. He could just be bored. It's not like we've had a lot of action the past few weeks."
"He could've kidnapped the kid and then showed up to help us find him in order to make himself look better," Jones suggests. "Sort of a 'good PR' plot."
Bradley glares at him.
"What?" Jones protests, spreading his hands. "Anything's possible. You gotta admit, before that whole Titan thing went down, this is exactly the kind of thing Megamind would've done."
"No it is not," Bradley insists. "He never went after a child. Not once. And you know it. Velasquez, you saw the last public fight he was in, you were there with me. Remember?" His tone is pointed, and he stares at her, willing her to make eye contact, but she avoids his gaze.
Megamind's final downtown battle with Metro Man, a few days before the disastrous opening of the museum, had involved a crab-like battle suit with legs controlled by Megamind's fingers. He had looked like he was playing a piano in order to walk. Unfortunately, Megamind was no pianist, so his balance had been off for most of the fight - public speculation afterwards was that the bot had been a prototype intended to be the precursor to something larger and much more effective. The battle had been short-lived, though, because although the streets had cleared quickly, the nearby citizens had simply scattered without looking where they were going, and a few minutes into the fight a girl of about eleven or twelve years had panicked and tried to run to her father across the road. Her path had taken her on a collision course with the off-kilter battle suit. Metro Man had, at the time, been swooping down for a vertical assault, so Megamind's options had been few - he could jump to avoid the girl and slam directly into Metro Man's fist, trample the girl to escape, or slam on the breaks, overbalance, and then get punched by Metro Man.
Startled, the blue alien had reacted on reflex. He had reared back, the massive suit staggering back with him on four of its eight legs and then slamming back down with the girl directly under its midsection. Not good. At the time, no one had been sure whether Metro Man had seen her, and if he had hit the battle suit, he would have driven it into the pavement and crushed her underneath it. And the road Megamind had been on was too narrow and the suit's range of motion too limited for him to make any delicate maneuvers.
He'd had about two seconds to make a decision. He had taken half of one, and had locked the spider's legs in one movement and arched his long body backwards in another to face Metro Man, slamming the tips of his fingers repeatedly into the palm of his other hand in a clear and frantic "time out" signal.
Metro Man's eyes had gone wide as he slammed on the brakes, but by then it was too late; he was already going too fast and this wasn't something either of them had prepared for. Megamind had unlocked the crab's legs, hooked his thumbs together in front of him, and done something with his hands that should have made the machine leap into the air - but he had only done it with one hand. The effect was that the four legs on the left snapped straight while the four legs on the right tried to jump, and the battle suit did a one hundred eighty degree flip and crash-landed upside-down with all eight legs twitching in the air. Which, of course, it really hadn't been built to do, but it had caught the oncoming Metro Man on his way down and slapped him out of the air and out of the way.
Megamind had clawed his way out of the sparking, smoking wreck, suit torn, eyes wild. The girl had still been standing frozen in the middle of the road when he dropped onto the pavement and stared at her as if she'd sprouted a second head. "Have you gone insane?" he had shrieked, flailing his arms to indicate the twisted wreck behind him, the street, the sky. The battle suit's legs twitched some more as he moved his arms, an orchestra of grating machinery sparking in time with a mad conductor. Hopping up and down in spastic flaily fury, Megamind managed to grit out, "What-possessed you-to run out in front of that?"
Then Metro Man had slammed into him, throwing him to the ground a few yards away. "Get off the road!" Metro Man had shouted over his shoulder as he'd zoomed to drag Megamind to his feet.
A rumor had started after the fight that the people standing nearest had heard Megamind mutter, "Kids these days," and that Metro Man had responded with a shrug and a, "Tell you what," before tossing him into the side of a building, but most people agreed that any such claims were totally ridiculous and did not bear repeating.
Bradley crosses his arms over his chest. "You were there, Velasquez."
Mercedes scoffs. "Oh come on, everybody knows he just didn't want to go in for murder. Speaking of which…" Her gaze sharpens and her sudden smile doesn't reach her eyes. "Have you just forgotten that he killed Metro Man?" She raises an eyebrow at him, and he looks away. "It's been over a year, now, and I have yet to see any initiative from anybody to even attempt to exact some sort of penalty. And the last time I checked, 'It was an accident!' wasn't a valid court defense." When Bradley doesn't say anything, she continues, encouraged. "Is everybody in this city so damn fickle that we'll all just bleat happily along after whatever freak is willing to throw a few punches in front of some cameras?"
Bradley sighs and opens his mouth, then blinks at something over her shoulder and offers up a huge fake smile that looks more like a grimace. "Heyyyyy!"
Mercedes turns and sets her jaw defensively, but Megamind is just standing there with his hands in his pockets and an awkward smile on his face. "Yeah," he says slowly, "If you think that calling me a 'freak' is going to bother me…" He trails off and shakes his head. "Sorry. I got used to that one ages ago. We're talking grade school ages ago."
Mercedes manages not to look at all abashed. "Yes, well. I think you'll notice that I made a fairly valid point."
Megamind inclines his head in an agreeable nod. "And I think," he says, "that you'll notice I'm not arguing that point." His voice is light and pleasant, and Mercedes blinks.
Megamind smiles suddenly. "Right then!" he declares, and pulls a plastic ziplock bag out of the pocket of his coat. "Let's get this show on the road! RS2K12, come!"
The bot thaums and emerges from where it's been nosing around in a tangle of shrubbery, zips up to its master and circles him with something that looks a lot like enthusiasm - Megamind has to lift his arms a little to keep the bot from running into him. "Hey, whoa," he says, laughing. "We're working here, you little doof, you're going to make us look bad!" He plants one hand squarely on the sparking dome and points at the eyestalk with the other. "Settle." The sternness of his voice is somewhat ruined by the fact that he looks like he's trying very hard not to laugh.
RS2K12 thaums again and hovers, bobbing up and down in the air. It makes a harsher sound than the few Bradley's heard calling to each other before - lower, roughter, almost rattling - and if Bradley hadn't known better, he would have sworn the thing sounded impatient. Megamind grin grows wider and he plants both palms on his thighs, bending forward and beaming at the robot. "Yes yes yes," he says, and holds up the bag. The sparks inside the bot's dome go wild and its eyestalk quivers. "Yes. Wanna play Find the Wrench? Find the Wrench? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do. Ah-ah, no," he adds warningly when the robot thaums loudly and starts to circle him again. It stops and hovers. "Good. That's a good evil cyborg. Yes."
Megamind unzips the bag and goes to one knee to look the bot in the eye, and his face goes very abruptly and unexpectedly serious. He drops the master-to-friendly-dog tone. "Okay, mark me," he tells the bot, and holds up three gloved fingers. It immediately stops bobbing in the air and watches him. "Three rules. One." He pauses for a moment. "New Wrench. You can't cheat on this one, you don't have its signature in your database." The bot's eyestalk flickers once, and Megamind folds down a finger. "Two. Priority Alpha. Stream all related information to all bots not currently on Watch or Guard." He takes his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and unlocks it, then holds it out to RS2K12. The three police officers lean forward.
"…Is that a QR code?" Jones asks, astonished. Megamind doesn't reply. RS2K12 scans the phone display with its eyestalk, then blinks twice, and Megamind puts his phone back in his pocket and folds down another finger
"Three," he says, and hesitates for just an instant before enunciating clearly, "Primum non nocere. The exceptions were in the streaming info, but I'm green-lighting an immediate temporary shutdown of any individual or group that attempts to override them." Thaum, says RS2K12, and blinks three times. Megamind half-smiles. "Good. Now, one last thing." He lowers his hand, then takes a small, silver picture frame out of his pocket and shows it to the bot. "This is the wrench. I know your visuals tend to fritz a lot, I want you to rely on smell," he says, and darned if he doesn't sound like he's trying to reassure it, "but if you see this boy, mark me - Guard. Protect. Call for backup and send one of the A-7s to find me, do not leave the target. Got all that?"
The bot makes a twittering sound and tilts sharply forward, knocking into Megamind's forehead and throwing him off-balance. Jones inhales sharply and takes a few steps back, one hand on his weapon, but Megamind just laughs and pushes the brainbot away, then gets to his feet. "Okay," he tells it. "Go get the wrench!"
The clear dome blinks once like a camera flashbulb and the robot zips down the walk. Megamind immediately pulls out his phone again and slides it open, thumbs blurring on the keypad, green eyes intent on the small screen.
The three officers look at one another. Finally Bradley clears his throat. "So…what happens now?"
"Hang on."
The silence that descends is awkward and broken only by the tak-takking of Megamind's fingers on the keypad. Mercedes stares at his hands and cannot help but ask. "So d'you play an instrument, or something?"
"Nnnnope…" Megamind sticks his tongue out a little, brow furrowing in concentration. "…I just have good reflexes…" He scowls and gives his head a little shake, mutters something under his breath. "You have to be quick in my…line…of…" He stays like that for a moment, lower lip held lightly between his teeth as his thumbs move even faster, "…work," he finishes, and grins, stabs the screen with a finger. "Done!"
Jones blinks at him suspiciously. "What did you just do?"
"Oh, nothing." And then, probably realizing how that sounds, Megamind clarifies, "A bit of a trick with any surveillance cameras not on a closed circuit and some basic facial recognition software. And a mass text. Had to see if anybody knows anything."
Jones' face goes carefully blank and Mercedes's lip curls, but Bradley just looks confused. "What? Who? Wouldn't we have heard something if they did?"
Megamind snorts. "From my contacts? I doubt it." Then he sighs and drops his phone back into his pocket. "As far as what happens now goes…I've done all I can for the time being. It's your scene, now."
Bradley and Jones look at each other. "Not much of a scene," Bradley admits. "We were just here to collect the missing persons report and get some data on the kid's description. What was all that stuff with the QR code? Find the wrench?"
Megamind grins a little bit. "Oh, that. Right. That's a game I play with them. With the newer runs, the visual runs, it operates like 'fetch.' I throw a wrench - oh don't look so surprised, wrenches are perfect for throwing - and they catch it and bring it back. But the older runs are more fine-tuned than that. Minion and I used to hide tools around the Lair and have them try to smell them out."
Bradley's mouth twitches as he tries not to laugh. "And the QR code?"
"Detailed instructions for any bot that might locate Maxence before RS2K12 does."
"Hey, listen!"
The officers jump, and Megamind looks surprised. "That was fast," he murmurs, and checks his phone.
nada in d mx, sum boyz mayB putN n wrk uptwn
He frowns, but doesn't ask about what "work" the boys are putting in. If the Duke of York says there's nothing in the mix, then anything after that isn't important.
Mercedes grits her teeth. "That's your text message alert? Navi?" She shakes her head.
"That's just evil," Bradley protests, and Megamind glances up.
"Hullo there!" He's already texting a reply. "I'm Megamind. Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of All Villainy, emphasis on the Villainy." He looks back at his phone as he finishes the message. "…Gang…question mark. And send. Anyway, sorry, I'll put it on vibrate."
"Hey, listen!" This time even Megamind jumps and stares down at his phone, then up at the three officers. "Is there some kind of action happening tonight I wasn't aware of?" he asks, confused. "I didn't see any new graffiti."
"Not that we know of," Mercedes tells him.
Megamind shrugs. "Must be negotiations or something," he mutters. But when he slides the phone open, he frowns even harder than last time. Bradley leans forward, craning his head around to read the reply to whatever Megamind had sent.
all kool here u ask DoY boys yet
Mass txt, Megamind replies. Asked everyone, no word.
He slides the phone closed and looks up. "I don't like it," he says quietly. "Something's up. The Dukes haven't heard anything." His phone buzzes again and he glances down - a second text from Lancaster. U got a 20? Im bord. He half-smiles.
I'll let you know, he replies, hits send, and looks up again to find Mercedes looking at him dubiously. "What?"
"Why do you have the Dukes' numbers in your phone?"
He shrugs. "I grew up in a prison," he says shortly. "I know everybody in the system. And I don't have their numbers in my phone, either."
"But you-"
"I told you," Jones interrupts. "He remembers everything." Then he looks at Megamind. "So according to you, we're supposed to just sit tight and wait until your machine calls you?"
Megamind nods.
Jones stares at him. "With no information? Nothing to go on? We just sit and wait?"
Megamind blinks at him and tries not to get too angry. He understands that the police aren't used to his help, he understands that many of them have very personal grudges against him, and he understands that sitting and waiting goes against what they've been trained to do. He also understands that, in their experience and as far as most of them know, he has historically been little more than a dangerous nuisance, just a half-mad inventor with a criminal bent. Megamind himself has put time and energy into maintaining that image, so he understands perfectly well that trusting him to be competent and serious after so many years of watching him fail - most of those failures accompanied by bright lights and fanfare - is difficult for them.
The police force is just another branch of the city's government, really. Megamind has spent the past few months attending meetings, planning, arguing, designing, proposing, and generally putting his hand into every aspect of the Metro City Rebuild Project. And, for the most part, the city's officials and various boards and cabinets have come to recognize that he is a lot less insane than they had previously supposed. But the police have been intimately acquainted with Megamind for all of his life, and he fully expects that gaining even some of their trust is going to be just as much work as keeping his previous reputation.
So he'll just have to start now.
"Look, I'm not asking you to trust me," Megamind says frankly, and drops all acts. He stands and talks as normally as he can - no extravagant gestures, no wild facial expressions. It's not something the police are used to seeing, from him, and he's hoping to maybe catch their attention. "I'm not even asking you to work with me, and I apologize if I gave you that impression. I came here tonight because I knew I could do more than you could at this time, so you and I are going to have to work alongside one another for the time being. You want to find this kid, I want to find this kid - we have a common goal, but we don't have to work together." He stops talking and looks steadily at each of them. When no answer is forthcoming, he continues, "As I said, I've done all I can. As far as I'm concerned, you should go and do whatever you can. And I'll help you do it," he adds, "if you'll have me."
Jones stares hard at him for a long moment, then nods. "All right," he says brusquely. "Tell me why we should trust you."
"You shouldn't." Megamind raises his eyebrows a little and shrugs, but that's all. "As far as you know, I'm an unknown variable. I'll give you my word that I'm on your side, but I don't expect you to actually believe me."
Jones nods again, but his expression remains as unreadable as before. "Fair enough. So tell me why you think you'd be of use to us."
If Megamind hadn't wanted to try to start building trust - if this were a one-time thing, or if the events of the past year hadn't taken place, he might have said something like, Helloo-oo, genius! and pointed at his head, or snorted and asked how he wouldn't be of use. As it is, he returns Jones' nod, an acknowledgment that he understands why the officer is asking him these questions. "I'm smart. I'm strong. I have resources coming out of my ears. I have contacts and connections in just about every underground group in Metro City and much of the surrounding area. I even have a few international connections, but I don't think they'll be of much use in this case." He pauses for a moment as if considering. "I also refuse to work for you in any official capacity, so if anything happens that would reflect poorly on you or your people, I can take the fall for it and your reputations will remain intact."
Mercedes speaks up, her tone as guarded as Jones'. "You're a vigilante. A wild card."
Megamind levels his gaze at her. "That doesn't mean you can't benefit from my amorality." He waits, but Mercedes and Jones just look at each other. After a moment, Mercedes cocks an eyebrow. Jones shakes his head a little. Megamind watches them for a few seconds more. "So, am I working with you or am I working alone?"
"That depends," Jones says slowly. "If we say we'd rather stand away from you on this one, and you find something out, are you going to withhold that information?"
Megamind shakes his head. "Like I said, I want this kid found. Withholding information from you wouldn't do any good."
Jones regards Megamind in stony silence for another long minute, and Megamind shifts his weight a little, wishing he could tell what the man is thinking. He tends to be pretty good at reading people, but Jones is a closed book. "Would you be more efficient working with us or alone?" For the first time, he smiles a little. "I want to find this boy, too."
Megamind starts to reply, then pauses. Some of the 'resources' he's thinking of using might be difficult for the officers to accept. "My efficiency would be the same either way," he says at last. He sounds cautious; he's trying to speak as delicately as possible. "But if you do accept my offer…you may be faced with some…ethical dilemmas? Further on this evening?"
"Whatever you're trying to say, say it," Mercedes says flatly.
"Lancaster is bored," Megamind says, equally flatly, looking at her. "And I think he could be of use to us, depending on where the kid turns up and when."
Jones' expression, which had been almost thoughtful, immediately slams closed again. "We can't work with him. And he won't work with us, he might even try to attack us if we show up with you. We'd have to try to bring him in."
"Or call a truce," Bradley says, speaking for the first time. All three of the others turn to look at him, and he flushes a little and crosses his arms over his chest, switching to a more defensive posture. "Look, you both said it," he snaps. "We want to find Maxence. And either way, whether we work with Freak or not, he's gonna be bringing Lancaster into the equation. Right?" he asks, and glances at Megamind, who shrugs and nods and, again, does not protest to being called 'Freak.' Bradley nods too and looks back at the other two officers. "Okay, so our choice is not whether or not we have to work with one of the Dukes - our choice is whether or not we want the MCPD to be affiliated at all with whatever outcome occurs. I think we all know," he continues, sounding more than a little bit exasperated, "that, no matter what we do, he's gonna get there first." He points at Megamind. "You've seen his tech. You heard what he said to that thing. He's got the whole Host out looking for this kid-"
"Not the whole Host," Megamind mutters, trying not to look embarrassed. He doesn't get a lot of people arguing for him, and he almost never gets recognized as being at all competent.
Bradley stumbles a bit and glances at him. "All right, fine, he's got host of the Most…" he pauses. "Most of…fuck, whatever. But you see my point, right?" He looks back and forth between Jones and Mercedes, both of whom appear to be leaning towards grudging agreement. "We can send every free officer we have out searching, but Megamind will still get there first. And when the newspaper comes out tomorrow, which headline do you think will look better for us: 'Megamind and West Reds rescue missing child, MCPD nowhere to be seen,' or, 'MCPD buries hatchet, teams up with ex-villain and West Reds to rescue missing child'?" He stops and looks at them, daring them to disagree. "One of those headlines implies that we're bunch of incompetent duffers who hide behind rule books, and the other one tells people that we will do whatever it takes to get the job done and protect the people of Metro City. I, personally, would rather be affiliated with the latter assertion."
Megamind stares at him. He hadn't expected that kind of speech from any of Metro City's finest, and he really hadn't expected Bradley to be so articulate off the top of his head.
And apparently, Bradley isn't done. He squares his shoulders and faces Jones head-on. "You know, Sir, I remember I was about to graduate from the Police Academy just before Metro Man died and the city went to shit - no offense," he adds quickly, glancing at Megamind again.
Megamind holds up his hands and shakes his head, signals for Bradley to continue. The wording the officer used hasn't escaped him, though - Metro Man died, not, he killed Metro Man. It's a small nuance and probably unintentional, but it means a lot to Megamind. More than he'd like to admit.
"Right, well, I remember watching the news and thinking, wow. Wow. A full police barricade, helicopters and SWAT team armed to the teeth, couldn't stop one guy- one guy - and a mechanical gorilla from taking over the city." He sucks his teeth for a moment, blinking very rapidly in agitation, and Megamind thinks that this is something that has probably been bothering the young man for a while. "That," the young officer finishes, "ispathetic."
He stops talking, then, and looks around to find Megamind studying him, an odd little smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "You're not from here, are you?" Megamind asks.
Bradley shrugs. He still looks irritated, but he doesn't look irritated at Megamind. "I'm from Manhattan. Why?"
Because you see me objectively, Megamind doesn't tell him. Because the only person I know who is from Metro City and wasn't taken in by the whole charade is Roxanne Ritchi, and I'm pretty sure that's only because she saw more of me than anyone else ever did. My Random Acts of Villainy were specifically designed and carried out over the years to inspire fear and hold the citizens in thrall so that my authority would never be called into question. And it had worked, too. No one had noticed how many jobs his destruction had created. No one had noticed that he went out of his way to avoid hurting people - even if they had, no one had dared call him out on it. The few who had tried, had only tried once; he had made sure of that. Nobody except the newcomers and Roxanne.
"No reason," he says lightly. "Just a hunch."
"All right," Jones says, and they both look at him. He doesn't look happy, but he does look resigned. "We'll follow you."
"You don't need to follow me," Megamind begins, but stops when Jones bristles, brown eyes flashing dangerously.
"Don't you dare stand there and lie to me," the older officer snaps. "You're the reigning power in this city. Everybody knows that your word is final. Nobody disobeys you. And in this case, you're the expert, and we'll follow you. So tell me," he finishes. "What do we do?"
Megamind smiles, wide and white. It isn't one of his catalogued grins, either - it's a real smile, and it shows. He honestly hadn't expected Jones' support, and the fact that Jones has actually agreed to go along with him has given Megamind no small measure of respect for the man. Jones still doesn't like him and doesn't trust him, but he's willing - as Bradley had said - to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Megamind knows how hard it is to ignore deep-seated prejudices and sentiments. And he also knows that thanking Jones will only irritate him.
So he just smiles. "We wait."
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