Much Needed Update
So it's been forever since i updated this crap.... the layout pisses me off cuz it doesnt show my stuff but i have no other choice... they have some new interphase that i have to find out how to override.... w.e. so yeah i need to let off some steam... i need to vent lol.... well whats happened..... i broke up with michael about 8 months ago.... it was a relief after all the stress i was going thru cuz of the relationship... i didnt want it to turn into a mario thing where i didnt feel the same way and i still stay with him..... my feelings were fading and there was nothing i could do about it.... He took all my crap, he didn't defend himself, he was immature and childish.... and well i couldnt take it anymore... i talked to his sister about it and he confronted me at laz and will's apartment.... he asked me why i told his sister i wanted to break up with him... so i told him because it was true.... and well i said that .... i wanted to break up... he told me i couldnt do it.... and well he approached it the wrong way because he scared me and i thought it was going to be a mario all over again.... well he left crying... and it was raining and horrible so i ran after him down the stairs... cuz i didn't love him but i didnt want anything bad to happen to him.... he left and really quick in his lexus... i got scared.... i tried calling him but he wouldnt pick up the phone.... so i called his sis... no answer.... so i decided to call his mother and ask her if she could make sure that michael got home safe ..... and then his sis called me back..... i told her i had done it.... and she was like ohh ok... so she called him... he called me back a lot later and was mad cuz i had told his sis... she told her mother and they just asked him millions of questions when he got home... w.e. we sorta stayed as friends..... its a weird friendship because i see him like my little brother.... hes sooo annoying lol... and i treat him like i do my brother.... when he gets me mad i scream at him and shit... w.e. me and laz started getting closer.... at first we were just messin around for fun..... me the idiot starting growing feelings for him... i guess i knew it would happen anyways but i hoped that he would fall in love with me too.... i had liked him since i could remember.... he was always my crush.... i was such an idiot tho... i put myself out there to get hurt..... we specifically said it was only for fun... will kept reminding me that i couldnt let myself get hurt.... lol he would kick my ass if i did cuz it would only be my fault... i knew that.... but i wanted him........... he is so intellectual..... so cute..... and w.e. so i started falling hard..... really hard..... i find out that his ex gf slept over..... i was soo hurt.... cuz i dunno we were sharing something so special... and well... i felt kinda used..... my fault again..... but w.e. i asked him about it and he assured me nothing happened... it was her last attempt to get back with him...... ive always had a little doubt that he would tell me even if they did do something.... but i cant find myself not believing him..... i trust him soo blindly and it scares me........ later i find out that he messed around with some girl named gio.....that really hurt especially cuz will had a lot to do with it..... i was hurt...... w.e. i kept going..... i was already in love... i didnt want to say anything...... i would aske yari ....and hed tell me that it wasnt love... it couldnt be love.... and i said but it feels like nothing ive ever felt before.... it was crazy... it was sooo different...... w.e. so i didnt say anything..... i knew in my heart i was in love.... i wasnt sure if it was something i should really say....... i might scare him away.... we were only doing it with no feelings involved.... we both didnt want a relationship....... omg but i sooo would have made an exception for him........ then one day when we were doing our thing..... he said he was going to make love to me....... no one had ever told me that...... it felt incredible... it felt soo different.... there was such a different emotion to it... it was incredible... welll class is over so ill post more later he he he left u on a good part ^_^