i dont even know...
well its after one on tuesday morning i guess....and i cant bring myself to fall asleep. Im not actually sure i could if i tried anyways because there is WAY WAY WAY too much going through my head right now.
So wed is basically...tomarrow now. And as of wed night...i will officially be moved into my dorm room and start my life as a college studen. THAT feels really wierd. I cant even describe how it feels. Im excited and scared and happy and nervous and sad...but mostly im excited. Im leaving behind a few extra special people thats going to kinda suck, but really im not leaving them behind im just...not going to see them nearly as much.
So ive been basically a fucking wreck all day (meaning monday). Im super excited one minute then tears are running down my face the next. I cant fucking get a grip. Honestly I dont even know how to describe how i feel about this how JD thing. I love him so much and now it has to end....i guess its better it ends on good terms then with us fighting but it still hurts, probably the same eitehr way. I know its not like im cutting off all ties with him but i mstill going to miss him...i cant even imagine what its going to be like with such a huge part of my life...gone..well changed. i dont even know...i guess well i do know..ill go to college and make new friends (hopefully) i just wish it didnt ahve to be like this.
That is the main reason i dont want to go to sleep because tuesday night is when we say goodbye and when i go to sleep tonight i knwo that when i wake up...thats the last day i have with JD as my amazing boyfriend. I think i just need to keep thinking of all the good times and stuff...maybe that will help.
i guess i should go to sleep eventually.
So wed is basically...tomarrow now. And as of wed night...i will officially be moved into my dorm room and start my life as a college studen. THAT feels really wierd. I cant even describe how it feels. Im excited and scared and happy and nervous and sad...but mostly im excited. Im leaving behind a few extra special people thats going to kinda suck, but really im not leaving them behind im just...not going to see them nearly as much.
So ive been basically a fucking wreck all day (meaning monday). Im super excited one minute then tears are running down my face the next. I cant fucking get a grip. Honestly I dont even know how to describe how i feel about this how JD thing. I love him so much and now it has to end....i guess its better it ends on good terms then with us fighting but it still hurts, probably the same eitehr way. I know its not like im cutting off all ties with him but i mstill going to miss him...i cant even imagine what its going to be like with such a huge part of my life...gone..well changed. i dont even know...i guess well i do know..ill go to college and make new friends (hopefully) i just wish it didnt ahve to be like this.
That is the main reason i dont want to go to sleep because tuesday night is when we say goodbye and when i go to sleep tonight i knwo that when i wake up...thats the last day i have with JD as my amazing boyfriend. I think i just need to keep thinking of all the good times and stuff...maybe that will help.
i guess i should go to sleep eventually.