Update
The semester is over and my boss is out until the New Year. I don't necessarily have anything to do but take messages at work and cruise the free and wanted sections of craigslist and occasionally flip through mindless e-mail.
I should really be sitting here looking at next semester's catalogue to determine what classes I'll have to take and play puzzles with various courses that may overlap--something I really hate. I know I'll have to take a few internet classes and sign up for a few others in excess of my degree requirements so they transfer to NAU next fall.
Over the last few days I've contemplated on whether I should go to NAU right when the summer session begins or just wait until the fall. I'm thinking, why not get my accelerated studies over with? I'll also have to squeeze myself into a position at NAU during my study time there--which won't be difficult given my current credentials--whoo hooo higher ed!
Then again, I can probably take a few humanities courses focusing on my heritage during the summer.
I feel like I'm in spiritual limbo. I really don't believe in any type of religion or practice--but, at times, I feel a presence of a higher being. I just want to understand the existence if it is at all possible. However, I realize I'm faithless and don't put much stock into praying or going through ritualistic things like pollen blessings or meditation. Its times like these when I miss my life coach friend who is somewhere in Peru on a personal mission. He gave a lot of insight to the things I've been questioning lately.
I'm also torn with it being the holidays. Its religion centric holidays like these that tend to make me dislike America so much--and its great influence of consumerism.
I genuinely want to get to know my culture and its traditions sans Jesus Christ. I can't help but feel resentments toward the idea of Jesus because deep down, I feel like Jesus killed my culture. Its something I can't even talk to my parents about because they're so "Praise Jesus."
I tried to discuss the whole Save the Peaks issue with my mom and she had to turn it around on religion. Her comments were discouraging in respects to saying, "What sacredness is there to hold onto? Most medicine men have ruined native ways by ways of greed and power."
I dropped the topic, I didn't want to get into it with her. But she did go on to say that a medicine man she knew who now is a Christian has renounced his native ways.
It makes me feel like its a big, brainwashing scam. I am so disgusted by this whole bible thumping theory that Jesus is the only way. Screw that.
I'm in the middle of a whirlwind and I'm not sure which direction to go.
This year, I'll celebrate the consumer portion of Christmas. I may even continue to do so since everyone I know celebrates the holiday. When in Rome...
I should really be sitting here looking at next semester's catalogue to determine what classes I'll have to take and play puzzles with various courses that may overlap--something I really hate. I know I'll have to take a few internet classes and sign up for a few others in excess of my degree requirements so they transfer to NAU next fall.
Over the last few days I've contemplated on whether I should go to NAU right when the summer session begins or just wait until the fall. I'm thinking, why not get my accelerated studies over with? I'll also have to squeeze myself into a position at NAU during my study time there--which won't be difficult given my current credentials--whoo hooo higher ed!
Then again, I can probably take a few humanities courses focusing on my heritage during the summer.
I feel like I'm in spiritual limbo. I really don't believe in any type of religion or practice--but, at times, I feel a presence of a higher being. I just want to understand the existence if it is at all possible. However, I realize I'm faithless and don't put much stock into praying or going through ritualistic things like pollen blessings or meditation. Its times like these when I miss my life coach friend who is somewhere in Peru on a personal mission. He gave a lot of insight to the things I've been questioning lately.
I'm also torn with it being the holidays. Its religion centric holidays like these that tend to make me dislike America so much--and its great influence of consumerism.
I genuinely want to get to know my culture and its traditions sans Jesus Christ. I can't help but feel resentments toward the idea of Jesus because deep down, I feel like Jesus killed my culture. Its something I can't even talk to my parents about because they're so "Praise Jesus."
I tried to discuss the whole Save the Peaks issue with my mom and she had to turn it around on religion. Her comments were discouraging in respects to saying, "What sacredness is there to hold onto? Most medicine men have ruined native ways by ways of greed and power."
I dropped the topic, I didn't want to get into it with her. But she did go on to say that a medicine man she knew who now is a Christian has renounced his native ways.
It makes me feel like its a big, brainwashing scam. I am so disgusted by this whole bible thumping theory that Jesus is the only way. Screw that.
I'm in the middle of a whirlwind and I'm not sure which direction to go.
This year, I'll celebrate the consumer portion of Christmas. I may even continue to do so since everyone I know celebrates the holiday. When in Rome...