Out Of
Today is the day of the Royal Wedding. Today is also a lesson day for me. At this moment, I'm in the mood for some Buffalo Springfield.
Last night was a rehearsal for the Mozart Serenade up in Crosby. Pretty mundane horn parts, but the piece itself is enjoyable. I'd say all the wind players in this group - aside from two pretty key parts - are really decent players. I smiled a lot through the rehearsal. It was a fun, if not exciting, night.
At one point I found myself thinking "I love this. I want to do this." A small voice in me - that I'm never sure is a voice in my head or God - said "Well, what do you think you're doing now?" I responded inwardly, "Well, ok, I know. But I want to do this more. More than just today." The voice said, "You will." There may have been a 'perhaps' before those two words. Not sure. Doubt gets in the way some times.
And then, as I sat thinking while many rests went by, I thought: would it be so bad if I weren't a professional horn player? What if I had a job and was an ace horn player on the side of my 'career,' whatever that career might be. What if I wasn't a professional musician? What if I was just a musician? And had work in something else?
That's the funny thing about Americans. We define ourselves by our work, our careers.
A couple nights ago, an American girl I know told her Liverpudlian boyfriend that he should strive for more than just part time work. He could be more than what he is now, in her eyes at least. Although I'm sure she said she loved him somewhere in there, she also said she couldn't understand why he didn't want more for himself.
I heard about this conversation and shook my head at the girl. I know the couple, the guy and the girl. The guy is a sweetheart and a wonderful person to know and be around. Only very little have I thought about what he does professionally and what it means for him as a person. However, the more I spent time with him, the more I realized that he is separate from the blue coller work he does. He's a great guy, regardless of how he earns his money. And I'm happy I know him.
Perhaps that's the great divide between our two cultures. Americans are work driven, and we find our identities in our careers. The British define themselves elsewhere. And though I'm not sure where it is they find their self-definition, I can guess that it's in their family, friends, personal pursuits/interests, and the things they spend their free time doing. Work is just a means to fund all of their life-ly loves.
So there I sat, thinking, so what if I'm not a professional? Do I have to turn my personal loves into money making schemes? That's how I find myself describing my goals to people. Is that right? Is that the way to go? Is that the way to be?
It might not even matter because I'm still mostly unemployed. *sigh.
Last night was a rehearsal for the Mozart Serenade up in Crosby. Pretty mundane horn parts, but the piece itself is enjoyable. I'd say all the wind players in this group - aside from two pretty key parts - are really decent players. I smiled a lot through the rehearsal. It was a fun, if not exciting, night.
At one point I found myself thinking "I love this. I want to do this." A small voice in me - that I'm never sure is a voice in my head or God - said "Well, what do you think you're doing now?" I responded inwardly, "Well, ok, I know. But I want to do this more. More than just today." The voice said, "You will." There may have been a 'perhaps' before those two words. Not sure. Doubt gets in the way some times.
And then, as I sat thinking while many rests went by, I thought: would it be so bad if I weren't a professional horn player? What if I had a job and was an ace horn player on the side of my 'career,' whatever that career might be. What if I wasn't a professional musician? What if I was just a musician? And had work in something else?
That's the funny thing about Americans. We define ourselves by our work, our careers.
A couple nights ago, an American girl I know told her Liverpudlian boyfriend that he should strive for more than just part time work. He could be more than what he is now, in her eyes at least. Although I'm sure she said she loved him somewhere in there, she also said she couldn't understand why he didn't want more for himself.
I heard about this conversation and shook my head at the girl. I know the couple, the guy and the girl. The guy is a sweetheart and a wonderful person to know and be around. Only very little have I thought about what he does professionally and what it means for him as a person. However, the more I spent time with him, the more I realized that he is separate from the blue coller work he does. He's a great guy, regardless of how he earns his money. And I'm happy I know him.
Perhaps that's the great divide between our two cultures. Americans are work driven, and we find our identities in our careers. The British define themselves elsewhere. And though I'm not sure where it is they find their self-definition, I can guess that it's in their family, friends, personal pursuits/interests, and the things they spend their free time doing. Work is just a means to fund all of their life-ly loves.
So there I sat, thinking, so what if I'm not a professional? Do I have to turn my personal loves into money making schemes? That's how I find myself describing my goals to people. Is that right? Is that the way to go? Is that the way to be?
It might not even matter because I'm still mostly unemployed. *sigh.