(no subject)
I have absolutly no intrest in sex or anything pretaining to it; true enought Troy and I have decided to wait until our wedding night to have sex, so therefore it is good that I have no intrest in it; but after tomight I think I realized why.
Even though Troy and I are not having sex, that is what we fight about, the sex we are NOT having.
Goof Lord, it sounds like we need therapy already...
In the beginning of our relationship I would get upset with him because he would not be affectionate with me in ANYWAY... and we fought constantly because in his mind being affectionate = sex, which was not what I wanted at all.
So after a while I figured fine, he doens't want to be affectionate with me, I don't care. I don't need his or any man's affection to validate me. And that remains to be my mentality. I don't need him to tell me I pretty to know that I am, and I defaintaly don't need him to kiss and hug me if he doesn't want to. I finally found a place where I am comfortable with myself, and don't need the affection of a man to know that I am desirable. Which is what troy wanted, right?
BUT NO!
Now that I have decided that I am comfortable with out all the affection, which should be good for him because he didn't want to be affectionate anyway, right? He has now declared that I AM NOT AFFECTIONATE ENOUGH...
Well damn it, what do you want? The apples or the oranges, because you can't have both. I am so confused. I don't understand what it he wants from me, and I don't know exactly what I have done that is so wrong, and I have come the conclusion that I have no intrest in sex, because now in my head sex=fighting, discord, and anger.
Now forgive me, it has been almost two years since I have had sex, but isn't supposed to be spontaneous and romantic?
I am not sure I even rememeber.
All I know is I am sick of sex, and I am not even having it. Now something has to be wrong with me.
Even though Troy and I are not having sex, that is what we fight about, the sex we are NOT having.
Goof Lord, it sounds like we need therapy already...
In the beginning of our relationship I would get upset with him because he would not be affectionate with me in ANYWAY... and we fought constantly because in his mind being affectionate = sex, which was not what I wanted at all.
So after a while I figured fine, he doens't want to be affectionate with me, I don't care. I don't need his or any man's affection to validate me. And that remains to be my mentality. I don't need him to tell me I pretty to know that I am, and I defaintaly don't need him to kiss and hug me if he doesn't want to. I finally found a place where I am comfortable with myself, and don't need the affection of a man to know that I am desirable. Which is what troy wanted, right?
BUT NO!
Now that I have decided that I am comfortable with out all the affection, which should be good for him because he didn't want to be affectionate anyway, right? He has now declared that I AM NOT AFFECTIONATE ENOUGH...
Well damn it, what do you want? The apples or the oranges, because you can't have both. I am so confused. I don't understand what it he wants from me, and I don't know exactly what I have done that is so wrong, and I have come the conclusion that I have no intrest in sex, because now in my head sex=fighting, discord, and anger.
Now forgive me, it has been almost two years since I have had sex, but isn't supposed to be spontaneous and romantic?
I am not sure I even rememeber.
All I know is I am sick of sex, and I am not even having it. Now something has to be wrong with me.