happier today I think...
hmm I have class at 12, why exactly am I awake?
wow just woke up from the worst dream eevvverrrr. but whatever. today is a new day. quite a beautiful day I might add. the sun is shinning and I am going to be happy. :0)
there are so many things I wish I could write about cause writting makes me feel terribly better. And I really mean that. I feel terrible cause I cry and shit but I feel much better when everything is said and done. Ill have to get on that one day.
um so yeah, that last entry was kinda sad. I dont want to be a sad person. I just feel so strange. I just feel very hopeless. and nothing really seems to make me happy anymore. even bw, I mean I love it but I dont love it like I should, like i used to. but thats ok. cause things will get better, and I will be a stronger person for getting through whatever comes my way. I can do this. :0)
I figure that im a strong person. dont know for sure, but thats what im thinking.
and screw this, im fucking good at guard. lol I KNOW that sounded so bad but i NEVER think that. Everytime I step onto the floor, im constantly thinking "i suck i suck, shouldnt be here, im making them all look so bad" but forget that. Im spinning in a WORLD CLASS guard. and im still alive. lol. not saying that im perfect or even great but I can hold my own. plus, im the only new girl on the sabre line and havent been cut yet. hahaha. aw. but kimmie said I fit in very well so that makes me really happy!!! woooo!!
um ok so mike is sleeping right next to me. so adorable. hes so amazingly good to me. lol especially seeing as I always take up the whole bed. haha.
ok so yeah. im in a good mood. call it bi polarness but I am. havent been in a good mood for a while go team. :0)
my show sat night was really really good. I loooovee to perform. the show is really difficult so sometimes, im so worried about catching my shit that i get so nervous. but its such a good show. my work is hard but I can do it. I really can. :0)
ok I know that sometimes I might complain about a lot of stuff, but i am happy overall, and i can handle all this. I really can.
oh well this was kinda pointless and kinda long. so whatever. i just feel strange. like I dont know how I feel. I think im happy. just shit that happens makes it hard. hard to be happy I mean.
ok im going to go. and be confused. but happy. lol. whatever.
wow just woke up from the worst dream eevvverrrr. but whatever. today is a new day. quite a beautiful day I might add. the sun is shinning and I am going to be happy. :0)
there are so many things I wish I could write about cause writting makes me feel terribly better. And I really mean that. I feel terrible cause I cry and shit but I feel much better when everything is said and done. Ill have to get on that one day.
um so yeah, that last entry was kinda sad. I dont want to be a sad person. I just feel so strange. I just feel very hopeless. and nothing really seems to make me happy anymore. even bw, I mean I love it but I dont love it like I should, like i used to. but thats ok. cause things will get better, and I will be a stronger person for getting through whatever comes my way. I can do this. :0)
I figure that im a strong person. dont know for sure, but thats what im thinking.
and screw this, im fucking good at guard. lol I KNOW that sounded so bad but i NEVER think that. Everytime I step onto the floor, im constantly thinking "i suck i suck, shouldnt be here, im making them all look so bad" but forget that. Im spinning in a WORLD CLASS guard. and im still alive. lol. not saying that im perfect or even great but I can hold my own. plus, im the only new girl on the sabre line and havent been cut yet. hahaha. aw. but kimmie said I fit in very well so that makes me really happy!!! woooo!!
um ok so mike is sleeping right next to me. so adorable. hes so amazingly good to me. lol especially seeing as I always take up the whole bed. haha.
ok so yeah. im in a good mood. call it bi polarness but I am. havent been in a good mood for a while go team. :0)
my show sat night was really really good. I loooovee to perform. the show is really difficult so sometimes, im so worried about catching my shit that i get so nervous. but its such a good show. my work is hard but I can do it. I really can. :0)
ok I know that sometimes I might complain about a lot of stuff, but i am happy overall, and i can handle all this. I really can.
oh well this was kinda pointless and kinda long. so whatever. i just feel strange. like I dont know how I feel. I think im happy. just shit that happens makes it hard. hard to be happy I mean.
ok im going to go. and be confused. but happy. lol. whatever.