Shame on Me
Shame on Me; PG-13; In which Suho realizes how terrible it is to force member bonding time.
For bimyo_na as part of the EXOCHOCOLATE v-day gift exchange.
Suho knows he's made a terrible mistake when he asks all of Exo to play Guesstures with him one otherwise tranquil Sunday night. He really doesn't know what possessed him to ask, or why he thought they'd somehow behave differently just because he willed it to be in his mind, but nevertheless it is the worst decision he's ever made. So bad, he doesn't think he'll ever regret anything more.
"Bahh Bahh." Baekhyun has his hands at his front, folded like a bunny's but most probably mimicking what is supposed to be a lamb.
"That's not how you play dumbass," Sehun jeers, conjuring a frown onto Baekhyun's face. "You can't make noises." Kris extends his long legs and reprimands Sehun by lightly nudging his thigh. He will be great at disciplining his children, Sehun thinks sourly.
"Then you fucking try and be a lamb without making any noise." Baekhyun throws the card down (when he wasn't supposed to be holding it in the first place. Another reason Suho hates his life is because his members don't follow rules. Ever) clearly frustrated and goes to flop on Tao's lap.
"Who's next?" Sehun asks, ignoring the order Suho had stupidly put on the game before they started.
"No fair!" Chanyeol yells, throwing half of his stale popcorn out of his bowl and onto the floor as he gets up to protest. "Our team loses a point because Sehun is a prick? Redo!"
Suho tunes them out, putting his face in his hands, as they start chanting 'Redo Redo Redo' almost in a satanic cult worshiping sort of way and doesn't even notice when Kai slides up beside him.
"Hyung," he whispers, getting in close to avoid Luhan's bat-ears from listening, "why did you think this would be a good idea?"
He sounds genuinely more concerned, for Suho's sanity, than judgmental.
"I don't know," Suho moans, rubbing his face and messing up his hair in frustration as Chen comes to rub his back in deliberate yet comforting circles.
"Who's next?" Sehun practically yells, pushing Lay forward so that he falls onto Xiumin's crotch in a very awkward fashion. Poor Lay had been falling asleep with his legs tucked under himself in a position only he could manage, but he kind of had it coming falling asleep in Sehun's vicinity. Maybe the fact that he doesn't spend too much time with him makes him less weary about Sehun's truly frightening and sometimes evil "pranks".
"Hyung, I'm so sorry," Lay mumbles, but he's smiling behind his apology and Xiumin takes a pillow from nearby and covers his crotch with it.
"Who's next?" Sehun demands for the third time, and Suho decides to step in. "I'll go," he says, standing up and moving to the center of the room. They pushed the couches back and placed all the cellphones and electronics in Suho's room so it's only natural that they (see Sehun) start to grow restless and downright awful. Suho can't remember the last time he looked over at Sehun and he wasn't playing Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja on his iPad.
"Uhm okay," Suho picks four cards and puts them in their slots.
"Who's your partner?" Tao asks while looking around, clearly wondering the same about himself. "Does everyone have a partner? I don't remember picking anyone."
"I'm your partner, you said I had to play so you'd have a smart partner," Kris says softly, leaning back on his hands and looking at everyone like he rather be sleeping or pissing or doing anything really besides playing a stupid board game, but Tao had insisted and well...no one has really learned how to say no to him yet. "Oh right," Tao says and smiles brightly, stealing the last bit of Xiumin's chocopie, who doesn't even blink in response.
"My partner's Chanyeol," Suho turns to him. "Ready?"
Chanyeol looks up at him with eyes that should be on a racehorse, not a 20 year old guy playing a board game with friends. "Ready!" he says, rubbing his hand together.
Suho wipes his hands on his pants and hopes to the heavens he doesn't die tonight. How mortifying would that be, death by fellow member strangulation, when he's supposed to be the leader and beloved by all. He momentarily wonders how he ended up with Chanyeol as his partner. When they picked it was all a blur because everyone kept yelling and he vaguely felt Chanyeol pulling Jongdae away from him and oh...that's why Jongdae went to the bathroom for a long time and they had to wait for him to come back before starting the game. "Hyung, I'm ready," Chanyeol says. Suho comes back to the present, avoids Chanyeol's greedy elf eyes, and starts the countdown. His first card is chicken so he flaps his arms up and down. "Cock!" Chanyeol yells and Sehun laughs unnecessarily loud at that being the first word on his mind. "Chicken! Rooster!" Suho gives him a thumbs up and removes the card.
His next card is basketball so he makes a dribbling motion. "Ball! Basketball!" With each word he yells, Suho gets more and more frightened. Out of all of them, without a doubt Luhan is the most competitive, but Chanyeol takes everything to heart. Each of their failures are his own, and his own failures are multiplied tenfold and completely more terrible.
The third card is sour so Suho scrunches his face. "Oh cute," Chen says, taking his camera out of his pocket to take a picture. "Lime!" Chanyeol yells, swatting Luhan's hand away when he tries to shove a fistful of popcorn into his mouth, his competitiveness over taking his rational sense at how he could accidentally choke Chanyeol in his quest to win. Suho flaps his hands up and down. "Chicken again?" Chanyeol asks. Suho shakes his head and makes the face again. "Oh my god could you stop?" Chen says, taking another picture, and leaning over Kai to show it to Xiumin who pats his hair and pushes him away with his pillow. "Sour?" Chanyeol asks and Suho nods. "Come on, what's the last one?"
Suho looks at the word, and without really meaning to, points to Luhan, and this is when all hell breaks loose. Chanyeol looks at Luhan. "Chinese! Handsome? Dancer? Milky skin? Blonde? Cupcake?"
"How do I resemble a cupcake?" Luhan asks Sehun, who is no help at all seeing as he's laughing too hard to breathe.
"Pretty? Bossy? Obnoxious? Ditzy? Forgetful? Loud? Whiny?"
"These just keep getting worse," Luhan says, pinching Sehun's side harshly to get a reaction from him. Sehun is too far gone at this point, and his eyes are just two half-moons on his face and he looks like a pug.
The card falls before Chanyeol has time to guess it and he lets out the most disappointed groan, not even Baekhyun cares that much. "What was the word?" Xiumin asks, getting up, to see the card, and because it's his turn anyway. He's one of the few who's faithful to the rules and ultimately Suho's favorite. When Xiumin picks up the card, a mix between a smirk and a frown crosses his lips. But then he turns the card around, and realizes which of the two words it was, he laughs harder than when Lay walked in on Chen dancing in the shower.
"What's it say?" Kris asks, leaning forward, now mildly interested because it looks like the night is going to end with someone crying.
Xiumin can't even talk from how hard he's laughing and Suho gets a vague feeling that he's going to pay for this, and it's going to be bad. Luhan huffs as he uses Chanyeol's and Sehun's shoulders to finally get up and look at the card himself seeing as it was ultimately about him. When he reads what it says however, his face turns red and it's not with humble embarrassment. "Kim Joonmyun!" Luhan yells, his voice deeper than Chanyeol's when he has a cold, so he basically sounds like satan. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Suho covers his head, actually expecting Luhan to punch him or push him through the window, or worse, pull his hair out, but nothing happens except Chen gets up to hug him from behind. "What's the fucking card say?" Baekhyun asks. He gets up as well (because apparently they don't believe in handing it over to one another, the only method to get it has to be by standing up and Chanyeol is too disappointed to do so which is why he hasn't seen it yet and is thrown on the floor like a pathetic overgrown baby) and takes the card from Luhan's claws.
"Woooooooow," Baekhyun says, going over to pat Suho on the back once he's read the word. "I had no idea you had that side to you."
"What side? What's it say?" Lay asks, as confused as a college student being asked elementary level math questions. "Luhan, why are you so upset?"
At this point, Kyungsoo comes in with the snacks he was preparing, by himself, in the kitchen, because anyone who goes into the kitchen without his permission is asking for a mental beat down. When he looks at the state of the game, he turns arounds and puts the tray back in the kitchen. He resurfaces with two sandwiches and hands one to Lay as soon as he sits down. "What's going on?" Kyungsoo leans in to ask. "I have no idea," Lay answers back.
"I can't believe you pointed at me!" Luhan protests, completely surprised. "Out of all the things you could've acted out, you point to ME? Is that all I am to you? A...a...I can't even say it."
Chanyeol has now curled out of his ball of shame and gets onto his knees to crawl over to Luhan. "What was the word I missed?" Chanyeol asks, and it's so pathetic, it's too pathetic. At that moment, Suho really hates himself for starting this game in the first place because it obviously brings out the worst in people, including himself. Luhan throws the card to the floor and huffs angrily. "I'm done playing this shit game," he says and stalks into the kitchen to get a sandwich and then to his room.
"Oh come on what was the word?" Sehun asks, taking the word from Chanyeol's grip. He reads it and at first, an unexpected laugh bubbles out, but then he's outright guffawing and his jaw is dislodged in that way that really disturbs everyone. Sehun gets up and runs into the hall to both laugh at Luhan and try to coax him out.
"This was dumb," Kai groans, leaning back onto Baekhyun's lap, who is still on Tao's. "Does Luhan crying imply we can stop?"
"I just wanted to have a nice quiet night with you guys," Suho groans to himself. "This is the first time we've been all together like this. Why did this have to turn into a witch hunt?" Chen combs Suho's hair back and smiles. A distressed Suho is Chen's favorite.
Lay goes into Suho's room and brings back an iPad. The rest get up and move about. Kai turns on the tv. Chanyeol crawls back to his spot and sighs like he just found out his lover is getting married to someone else. Kyungsoo and Lay make up possible hypotheses for what it says on the card without either of them getting up to actually read it.
Kris looks at how sad and disappointed Suho looks, rolls his eyes, and stands up. He's clearly had enough of this pussyfooting so he goes to pick up the card, reads it, makes a disapproving tsk and looks around the room to see where he's going to start. He has his "I'm going to make everything better because you are all incompetent slugs" face. Sometimes, Suho really hates that face, but now is not one of those times. "Joonmyun, you had good intentions but you momentarily forgot that you're dealing with mentally incapacitated baboons. Kyungsoo, why are the snacks not on that table over there? Baekhyun's so hungry he's been nibbling on my thigh for the past 10 minutes." At that Baekhyun smiles, showing off his canines at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo rushes to bring him a sandwich. "Jongin," Kris continues, crossing his arms over his chest. "Turn the tv off. Yixing, put the iPad back. Bonding time isn't over. Chanyeol, it's just a game, you don't have to be so dramatic." Chanyeol slinks towards Tao and curls around his waist, a little less pathetic but still kind of. "Now," Kris turns to Xiumin. "Go get King Luhan out of his chambers because we all know you're the one to do it."
Xiumin puffs out his cheeks in exasperation, resembling a chipmunk more than a person. "Do I have to?" he asks, and Kris feels a tremor go up his spine. He's known Xiumin long enough to know he breaks out his cute card on purpose to get what he wants but then has the audacity to claim he doesn't like being called cute. "Yes," he concedes. "Do it for all of us. We won't hear the end of it because you know he's going to be up all night." Xiumin blatantly sulks as he walks to the door to Luhan's room where Sehun is still having an evident attack of massive proportions. He's never been very eloquent that one.
"Now, everyone, let's thank Joonmyun for the idea and keep playing this stupid game," Kris turns and sits down in one not-so-elegant plop. "Who's turn was it?"
"I think it was Minseok's," says Suho, sitting down beside Chen and Kai. "Jongin-ah, you go." Suho nudges him softly and Kai shoots him a glare before reluctantly getting up. "My partner's having a meltdown," Kai mumbles. He does a little twirl while he waits and slumps his shoulders.
"Oh right, I forgot Luhan was your partner," Suho looks around. "You can go with Kyungsoo since he was preparing snacks and hasn't had a turn yet."
Kyungsoo looks up from his discussion with Lay and smiles at Kai.
Kai acts everything out with a face like he he'd rather be knitting a sweater, but Kyungsoo guesses all the words in a heartbeat, not even batting an eyelash. They exchange high fives and Kai sits down between him and Lay. Lay whispers something in Kai's ear and when Kai nods, Lay goes to the tray by the couch, bringing back two sandwiches and giving them to Kai.
Then Xiumin emerges with a less ballistic, more cranky Luhan with Sehun clinging to him like a koala, except koalas are cute and Sehun well...isn't. "Your majesty has requested a private court with Joonmyun," Xiumin says, sounding like the most tired courtier in the world. Luhan nudges him and stares pointedly at Suho.
"I'm sorry okay?" Suho says, standing up to embrace Luhan, who sighs a bit when he hugs him. "I didn't do it on purpose."
"Seriously, Luhan, you don't have to start a war over such a silly thing," Baekhyun says absentmindedly, on to his fourth sandwich already, still sprawled over Tao like a pancake.
"What was the word anyway?" Lay asks Kai in a whisper. "I don't know and frankly I don't care," he whispers back.
"Oh you will care after you hear it," Luhan says, his bat ears activated. "Minseok, give Jongin the card." Xiumin stares at Luhan like he's willing daggers to come out of his eyes but sadly nothing happens. Luhan frowns and pushes him forward. Xiumin gives Kai the card and sits down, retreating under Kris' armpit.
Kai reads the card, passes it to Lay, he reads it, and passes it to Kyungsoo. They look at each other and simultaneously burst out into a fit of laughter, one that's surprisingly contagious and has everyone laughing within seconds, even Chanyeol. "Hyung," Kai says between the tears that roll down his cheeks, "you are a genius."
Luhan kicks Kai's shin, but he's so undeterred because the word is spot on and he always love laughing at Luhan.
"Everyone shut up," Suho yells, causing everyone to hold their breathes; when Suho yells he means business. "We are never going to speak of this again. New rule to the game: you can't point at any person in a way that it could be offensive, okay?" Suho looks at Luhan. "Is everything forgiven?" Luhan nods and smiles at Suho, not wanting to hold a grudge against their gentle leader. "Now, let's keep playing and forget about this stupid card." Suho tosses the card behind the sofa. They all agree to never speak of it again. Until one day....
5 years in the future
"Hey, check under the couch, we don't want to leave anything behind."
Sehun huffs angrily and gets under the couch. His broad shoulders don't fit in the tight space but his legs do, so he turns around and uses his toes to feel around for anything. Momentarily he fears this is an awfully stupid idea because if there's a rat down there he's giving it easy access to his flesh, but he ignores that thought and keeps searching. His heel touches something and he scrambles with his toes to grab it. If apes can do it, so can he.
"You know you could've just pushed the couch forward," Luhan says, his arms crossed over his chest, looking at Sehun with amusement. Sehun doesn't want to admit it but he likes how his hair looks this shade of burgundy.
"I almost have it," Sehun groans, bringing his leg forward slowly.
"What is it?" Luhan asks. "If it's something gross, give it to me and I'll throw it on Minseok."
Sehun pulls out his leg, with a paper between his toes. He takes it up to his face and inspects. On one side it says Guesstures, and Sehun faintly remembers various game nights at Joonnyun's pleading. He turns it over and a big smile takes over his face. He looks up at Luhan and laughs, handing him the card. Luhan rolls his eyes and throws it back to Sehun. "Let's go, lardass, they're waiting downstairs."
Sehun is still smiling. "Remember when Joonmyun got this card and pointed at you?"
"No," Luhan says, pointing his chin in the air. "I don't actually, now let's go."
"Oh you do, you wouldn't let any of us forget for like a week afterwards. You were so upset."
"Whatever," Luhan says, taking Sehun's arm. "This the last memory we're going to have in this apartment, do you really want it to be of me kicking you in the crotch?"
Sehun seems to genuinely be thinking about it and it makes Luhan laugh. "You're right," he says. "Let's just go."
They look around one last time. Their world tour starts tomorrow and after that they're all moving into separate apartments. Sehun looks at the card one last time and smiles before going out the door after Luhan.
Facing up, in neat, Arial Black letters, is the word "flirt".
The end
For bimyo_na as part of the EXOCHOCOLATE v-day gift exchange.
Suho knows he's made a terrible mistake when he asks all of Exo to play Guesstures with him one otherwise tranquil Sunday night. He really doesn't know what possessed him to ask, or why he thought they'd somehow behave differently just because he willed it to be in his mind, but nevertheless it is the worst decision he's ever made. So bad, he doesn't think he'll ever regret anything more.
"Bahh Bahh." Baekhyun has his hands at his front, folded like a bunny's but most probably mimicking what is supposed to be a lamb.
"That's not how you play dumbass," Sehun jeers, conjuring a frown onto Baekhyun's face. "You can't make noises." Kris extends his long legs and reprimands Sehun by lightly nudging his thigh. He will be great at disciplining his children, Sehun thinks sourly.
"Then you fucking try and be a lamb without making any noise." Baekhyun throws the card down (when he wasn't supposed to be holding it in the first place. Another reason Suho hates his life is because his members don't follow rules. Ever) clearly frustrated and goes to flop on Tao's lap.
"Who's next?" Sehun asks, ignoring the order Suho had stupidly put on the game before they started.
"No fair!" Chanyeol yells, throwing half of his stale popcorn out of his bowl and onto the floor as he gets up to protest. "Our team loses a point because Sehun is a prick? Redo!"
Suho tunes them out, putting his face in his hands, as they start chanting 'Redo Redo Redo' almost in a satanic cult worshiping sort of way and doesn't even notice when Kai slides up beside him.
"Hyung," he whispers, getting in close to avoid Luhan's bat-ears from listening, "why did you think this would be a good idea?"
He sounds genuinely more concerned, for Suho's sanity, than judgmental.
"I don't know," Suho moans, rubbing his face and messing up his hair in frustration as Chen comes to rub his back in deliberate yet comforting circles.
"Who's next?" Sehun practically yells, pushing Lay forward so that he falls onto Xiumin's crotch in a very awkward fashion. Poor Lay had been falling asleep with his legs tucked under himself in a position only he could manage, but he kind of had it coming falling asleep in Sehun's vicinity. Maybe the fact that he doesn't spend too much time with him makes him less weary about Sehun's truly frightening and sometimes evil "pranks".
"Hyung, I'm so sorry," Lay mumbles, but he's smiling behind his apology and Xiumin takes a pillow from nearby and covers his crotch with it.
"Who's next?" Sehun demands for the third time, and Suho decides to step in. "I'll go," he says, standing up and moving to the center of the room. They pushed the couches back and placed all the cellphones and electronics in Suho's room so it's only natural that they (see Sehun) start to grow restless and downright awful. Suho can't remember the last time he looked over at Sehun and he wasn't playing Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja on his iPad.
"Uhm okay," Suho picks four cards and puts them in their slots.
"Who's your partner?" Tao asks while looking around, clearly wondering the same about himself. "Does everyone have a partner? I don't remember picking anyone."
"I'm your partner, you said I had to play so you'd have a smart partner," Kris says softly, leaning back on his hands and looking at everyone like he rather be sleeping or pissing or doing anything really besides playing a stupid board game, but Tao had insisted and well...no one has really learned how to say no to him yet. "Oh right," Tao says and smiles brightly, stealing the last bit of Xiumin's chocopie, who doesn't even blink in response.
"My partner's Chanyeol," Suho turns to him. "Ready?"
Chanyeol looks up at him with eyes that should be on a racehorse, not a 20 year old guy playing a board game with friends. "Ready!" he says, rubbing his hand together.
Suho wipes his hands on his pants and hopes to the heavens he doesn't die tonight. How mortifying would that be, death by fellow member strangulation, when he's supposed to be the leader and beloved by all. He momentarily wonders how he ended up with Chanyeol as his partner. When they picked it was all a blur because everyone kept yelling and he vaguely felt Chanyeol pulling Jongdae away from him and oh...that's why Jongdae went to the bathroom for a long time and they had to wait for him to come back before starting the game. "Hyung, I'm ready," Chanyeol says. Suho comes back to the present, avoids Chanyeol's greedy elf eyes, and starts the countdown. His first card is chicken so he flaps his arms up and down. "Cock!" Chanyeol yells and Sehun laughs unnecessarily loud at that being the first word on his mind. "Chicken! Rooster!" Suho gives him a thumbs up and removes the card.
His next card is basketball so he makes a dribbling motion. "Ball! Basketball!" With each word he yells, Suho gets more and more frightened. Out of all of them, without a doubt Luhan is the most competitive, but Chanyeol takes everything to heart. Each of their failures are his own, and his own failures are multiplied tenfold and completely more terrible.
The third card is sour so Suho scrunches his face. "Oh cute," Chen says, taking his camera out of his pocket to take a picture. "Lime!" Chanyeol yells, swatting Luhan's hand away when he tries to shove a fistful of popcorn into his mouth, his competitiveness over taking his rational sense at how he could accidentally choke Chanyeol in his quest to win. Suho flaps his hands up and down. "Chicken again?" Chanyeol asks. Suho shakes his head and makes the face again. "Oh my god could you stop?" Chen says, taking another picture, and leaning over Kai to show it to Xiumin who pats his hair and pushes him away with his pillow. "Sour?" Chanyeol asks and Suho nods. "Come on, what's the last one?"
Suho looks at the word, and without really meaning to, points to Luhan, and this is when all hell breaks loose. Chanyeol looks at Luhan. "Chinese! Handsome? Dancer? Milky skin? Blonde? Cupcake?"
"How do I resemble a cupcake?" Luhan asks Sehun, who is no help at all seeing as he's laughing too hard to breathe.
"Pretty? Bossy? Obnoxious? Ditzy? Forgetful? Loud? Whiny?"
"These just keep getting worse," Luhan says, pinching Sehun's side harshly to get a reaction from him. Sehun is too far gone at this point, and his eyes are just two half-moons on his face and he looks like a pug.
The card falls before Chanyeol has time to guess it and he lets out the most disappointed groan, not even Baekhyun cares that much. "What was the word?" Xiumin asks, getting up, to see the card, and because it's his turn anyway. He's one of the few who's faithful to the rules and ultimately Suho's favorite. When Xiumin picks up the card, a mix between a smirk and a frown crosses his lips. But then he turns the card around, and realizes which of the two words it was, he laughs harder than when Lay walked in on Chen dancing in the shower.
"What's it say?" Kris asks, leaning forward, now mildly interested because it looks like the night is going to end with someone crying.
Xiumin can't even talk from how hard he's laughing and Suho gets a vague feeling that he's going to pay for this, and it's going to be bad. Luhan huffs as he uses Chanyeol's and Sehun's shoulders to finally get up and look at the card himself seeing as it was ultimately about him. When he reads what it says however, his face turns red and it's not with humble embarrassment. "Kim Joonmyun!" Luhan yells, his voice deeper than Chanyeol's when he has a cold, so he basically sounds like satan. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Suho covers his head, actually expecting Luhan to punch him or push him through the window, or worse, pull his hair out, but nothing happens except Chen gets up to hug him from behind. "What's the fucking card say?" Baekhyun asks. He gets up as well (because apparently they don't believe in handing it over to one another, the only method to get it has to be by standing up and Chanyeol is too disappointed to do so which is why he hasn't seen it yet and is thrown on the floor like a pathetic overgrown baby) and takes the card from Luhan's claws.
"Woooooooow," Baekhyun says, going over to pat Suho on the back once he's read the word. "I had no idea you had that side to you."
"What side? What's it say?" Lay asks, as confused as a college student being asked elementary level math questions. "Luhan, why are you so upset?"
At this point, Kyungsoo comes in with the snacks he was preparing, by himself, in the kitchen, because anyone who goes into the kitchen without his permission is asking for a mental beat down. When he looks at the state of the game, he turns arounds and puts the tray back in the kitchen. He resurfaces with two sandwiches and hands one to Lay as soon as he sits down. "What's going on?" Kyungsoo leans in to ask. "I have no idea," Lay answers back.
"I can't believe you pointed at me!" Luhan protests, completely surprised. "Out of all the things you could've acted out, you point to ME? Is that all I am to you? A...a...I can't even say it."
Chanyeol has now curled out of his ball of shame and gets onto his knees to crawl over to Luhan. "What was the word I missed?" Chanyeol asks, and it's so pathetic, it's too pathetic. At that moment, Suho really hates himself for starting this game in the first place because it obviously brings out the worst in people, including himself. Luhan throws the card to the floor and huffs angrily. "I'm done playing this shit game," he says and stalks into the kitchen to get a sandwich and then to his room.
"Oh come on what was the word?" Sehun asks, taking the word from Chanyeol's grip. He reads it and at first, an unexpected laugh bubbles out, but then he's outright guffawing and his jaw is dislodged in that way that really disturbs everyone. Sehun gets up and runs into the hall to both laugh at Luhan and try to coax him out.
"This was dumb," Kai groans, leaning back onto Baekhyun's lap, who is still on Tao's. "Does Luhan crying imply we can stop?"
"I just wanted to have a nice quiet night with you guys," Suho groans to himself. "This is the first time we've been all together like this. Why did this have to turn into a witch hunt?" Chen combs Suho's hair back and smiles. A distressed Suho is Chen's favorite.
Lay goes into Suho's room and brings back an iPad. The rest get up and move about. Kai turns on the tv. Chanyeol crawls back to his spot and sighs like he just found out his lover is getting married to someone else. Kyungsoo and Lay make up possible hypotheses for what it says on the card without either of them getting up to actually read it.
Kris looks at how sad and disappointed Suho looks, rolls his eyes, and stands up. He's clearly had enough of this pussyfooting so he goes to pick up the card, reads it, makes a disapproving tsk and looks around the room to see where he's going to start. He has his "I'm going to make everything better because you are all incompetent slugs" face. Sometimes, Suho really hates that face, but now is not one of those times. "Joonmyun, you had good intentions but you momentarily forgot that you're dealing with mentally incapacitated baboons. Kyungsoo, why are the snacks not on that table over there? Baekhyun's so hungry he's been nibbling on my thigh for the past 10 minutes." At that Baekhyun smiles, showing off his canines at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo rushes to bring him a sandwich. "Jongin," Kris continues, crossing his arms over his chest. "Turn the tv off. Yixing, put the iPad back. Bonding time isn't over. Chanyeol, it's just a game, you don't have to be so dramatic." Chanyeol slinks towards Tao and curls around his waist, a little less pathetic but still kind of. "Now," Kris turns to Xiumin. "Go get King Luhan out of his chambers because we all know you're the one to do it."
Xiumin puffs out his cheeks in exasperation, resembling a chipmunk more than a person. "Do I have to?" he asks, and Kris feels a tremor go up his spine. He's known Xiumin long enough to know he breaks out his cute card on purpose to get what he wants but then has the audacity to claim he doesn't like being called cute. "Yes," he concedes. "Do it for all of us. We won't hear the end of it because you know he's going to be up all night." Xiumin blatantly sulks as he walks to the door to Luhan's room where Sehun is still having an evident attack of massive proportions. He's never been very eloquent that one.
"Now, everyone, let's thank Joonmyun for the idea and keep playing this stupid game," Kris turns and sits down in one not-so-elegant plop. "Who's turn was it?"
"I think it was Minseok's," says Suho, sitting down beside Chen and Kai. "Jongin-ah, you go." Suho nudges him softly and Kai shoots him a glare before reluctantly getting up. "My partner's having a meltdown," Kai mumbles. He does a little twirl while he waits and slumps his shoulders.
"Oh right, I forgot Luhan was your partner," Suho looks around. "You can go with Kyungsoo since he was preparing snacks and hasn't had a turn yet."
Kyungsoo looks up from his discussion with Lay and smiles at Kai.
Kai acts everything out with a face like he he'd rather be knitting a sweater, but Kyungsoo guesses all the words in a heartbeat, not even batting an eyelash. They exchange high fives and Kai sits down between him and Lay. Lay whispers something in Kai's ear and when Kai nods, Lay goes to the tray by the couch, bringing back two sandwiches and giving them to Kai.
Then Xiumin emerges with a less ballistic, more cranky Luhan with Sehun clinging to him like a koala, except koalas are cute and Sehun well...isn't. "Your majesty has requested a private court with Joonmyun," Xiumin says, sounding like the most tired courtier in the world. Luhan nudges him and stares pointedly at Suho.
"I'm sorry okay?" Suho says, standing up to embrace Luhan, who sighs a bit when he hugs him. "I didn't do it on purpose."
"Seriously, Luhan, you don't have to start a war over such a silly thing," Baekhyun says absentmindedly, on to his fourth sandwich already, still sprawled over Tao like a pancake.
"What was the word anyway?" Lay asks Kai in a whisper. "I don't know and frankly I don't care," he whispers back.
"Oh you will care after you hear it," Luhan says, his bat ears activated. "Minseok, give Jongin the card." Xiumin stares at Luhan like he's willing daggers to come out of his eyes but sadly nothing happens. Luhan frowns and pushes him forward. Xiumin gives Kai the card and sits down, retreating under Kris' armpit.
Kai reads the card, passes it to Lay, he reads it, and passes it to Kyungsoo. They look at each other and simultaneously burst out into a fit of laughter, one that's surprisingly contagious and has everyone laughing within seconds, even Chanyeol. "Hyung," Kai says between the tears that roll down his cheeks, "you are a genius."
Luhan kicks Kai's shin, but he's so undeterred because the word is spot on and he always love laughing at Luhan.
"Everyone shut up," Suho yells, causing everyone to hold their breathes; when Suho yells he means business. "We are never going to speak of this again. New rule to the game: you can't point at any person in a way that it could be offensive, okay?" Suho looks at Luhan. "Is everything forgiven?" Luhan nods and smiles at Suho, not wanting to hold a grudge against their gentle leader. "Now, let's keep playing and forget about this stupid card." Suho tosses the card behind the sofa. They all agree to never speak of it again. Until one day....
5 years in the future
"Hey, check under the couch, we don't want to leave anything behind."
Sehun huffs angrily and gets under the couch. His broad shoulders don't fit in the tight space but his legs do, so he turns around and uses his toes to feel around for anything. Momentarily he fears this is an awfully stupid idea because if there's a rat down there he's giving it easy access to his flesh, but he ignores that thought and keeps searching. His heel touches something and he scrambles with his toes to grab it. If apes can do it, so can he.
"You know you could've just pushed the couch forward," Luhan says, his arms crossed over his chest, looking at Sehun with amusement. Sehun doesn't want to admit it but he likes how his hair looks this shade of burgundy.
"I almost have it," Sehun groans, bringing his leg forward slowly.
"What is it?" Luhan asks. "If it's something gross, give it to me and I'll throw it on Minseok."
Sehun pulls out his leg, with a paper between his toes. He takes it up to his face and inspects. On one side it says Guesstures, and Sehun faintly remembers various game nights at Joonnyun's pleading. He turns it over and a big smile takes over his face. He looks up at Luhan and laughs, handing him the card. Luhan rolls his eyes and throws it back to Sehun. "Let's go, lardass, they're waiting downstairs."
Sehun is still smiling. "Remember when Joonmyun got this card and pointed at you?"
"No," Luhan says, pointing his chin in the air. "I don't actually, now let's go."
"Oh you do, you wouldn't let any of us forget for like a week afterwards. You were so upset."
"Whatever," Luhan says, taking Sehun's arm. "This the last memory we're going to have in this apartment, do you really want it to be of me kicking you in the crotch?"
Sehun seems to genuinely be thinking about it and it makes Luhan laugh. "You're right," he says. "Let's just go."
They look around one last time. Their world tour starts tomorrow and after that they're all moving into separate apartments. Sehun looks at the card one last time and smiles before going out the door after Luhan.
Facing up, in neat, Arial Black letters, is the word "flirt".
The end