The 12 Sexiest Men Who Were Never Alive - Up for Debate!
Got this from a link from Mugglenet - it's too funny. Who are your sexiest men who were never alive?
The 12 Sexiest Men Who Were Never Alive (Nena Chopin, San Francisco Chronicle)
Chris Keller (serial killer, "Oz"): He had his faults. For starters, he broke his boyfriend's arms and legs. He ruined a nun. Still, he was the sultriest man-slut ever to sashay through a maximum-security prison, and all he wanted was a little love, and murder. But let's not quibble.
Lucius Malfoy ("Harry Potter" villain): As portrayed by Jason Isaacs, he's a bigot and a snob, and he could pass for a drag queen in the wrong light. My nomination as the coolest blond since Jean Harlow.
Mr. Spock (Vulcan, "Star Trek"): Spock's emotional distance and logician's mind were just ... like ... whoa. Did I mention he came into heat only every seven years? Pon faar, baby. I'd hit that.
Silva Vacarro (predator, "Baby Doll"): Fifty years after it was released, "Baby Doll" still contains one of the most erotic seductions on film, thanks to Eli Wallach's performance as Silva, a predatory entrepreneur with his eye on a rival's child bride (Carroll Baker). Words fail me; just rent the movie, and wait for the scene on the swing.
Heathcliff (antihero, "Wuthering Heights"): Tall, dark, handsome, tormented. Wronged by the woman he loved and bent on revenge at any cost. Merciless. In sum, perfection.
Mr. Darcy (smoldering elitist, "Pride and Prejudice"): In print or onscreen, this one's a no-brainer. Nastiness redeemed is an aphrodisiac.
Darth Maul (Sith, "Star Wars"): Bad teeth. Full-body tattoos. Moved like a cat. Died young. Met his end at the hands of Ewan McGregor after a martial-arts duel that played like a lethal ballet. Dude.
Totoro (animated forest spirit, Hayao Miyazaki's "My Neighbor Totoro"): He's not really a man; he's more a giant, furry Blob of Cute, but he can fly. He belongs in the sky. We could belong to each other.
Atticus Finch (decency incarnate, "To Kill a Mockingbird"): In the book, he's admirable; in the movie, portrayed by Gregory Peck, he's an unstoppable engine of carnal righteousness.
Haldir (Elf warrior, "The Lord of the Rings"): He battled Orcs while keeping every hair in place. Oh, baby, oh mine.
Gob Bluth (son, "Arrested Development"): It's pronounced "Jobe." I can't explain this one.
Sherlock Holmes (sleuth): He knew everything, and harbored his own sexual and moral mysteries.
The 12 Sexiest Men Who Were Never Alive (Nena Chopin, San Francisco Chronicle)
Chris Keller (serial killer, "Oz"): He had his faults. For starters, he broke his boyfriend's arms and legs. He ruined a nun. Still, he was the sultriest man-slut ever to sashay through a maximum-security prison, and all he wanted was a little love, and murder. But let's not quibble.
Lucius Malfoy ("Harry Potter" villain): As portrayed by Jason Isaacs, he's a bigot and a snob, and he could pass for a drag queen in the wrong light. My nomination as the coolest blond since Jean Harlow.
Mr. Spock (Vulcan, "Star Trek"): Spock's emotional distance and logician's mind were just ... like ... whoa. Did I mention he came into heat only every seven years? Pon faar, baby. I'd hit that.
Silva Vacarro (predator, "Baby Doll"): Fifty years after it was released, "Baby Doll" still contains one of the most erotic seductions on film, thanks to Eli Wallach's performance as Silva, a predatory entrepreneur with his eye on a rival's child bride (Carroll Baker). Words fail me; just rent the movie, and wait for the scene on the swing.
Heathcliff (antihero, "Wuthering Heights"): Tall, dark, handsome, tormented. Wronged by the woman he loved and bent on revenge at any cost. Merciless. In sum, perfection.
Mr. Darcy (smoldering elitist, "Pride and Prejudice"): In print or onscreen, this one's a no-brainer. Nastiness redeemed is an aphrodisiac.
Darth Maul (Sith, "Star Wars"): Bad teeth. Full-body tattoos. Moved like a cat. Died young. Met his end at the hands of Ewan McGregor after a martial-arts duel that played like a lethal ballet. Dude.
Totoro (animated forest spirit, Hayao Miyazaki's "My Neighbor Totoro"): He's not really a man; he's more a giant, furry Blob of Cute, but he can fly. He belongs in the sky. We could belong to each other.
Atticus Finch (decency incarnate, "To Kill a Mockingbird"): In the book, he's admirable; in the movie, portrayed by Gregory Peck, he's an unstoppable engine of carnal righteousness.
Haldir (Elf warrior, "The Lord of the Rings"): He battled Orcs while keeping every hair in place. Oh, baby, oh mine.
Gob Bluth (son, "Arrested Development"): It's pronounced "Jobe." I can't explain this one.
Sherlock Holmes (sleuth): He knew everything, and harbored his own sexual and moral mysteries.