A Dear Friend of Mine: Mr. Birdie
Mr. Birdie used to go by the name of Mr. Conrad Birdie, but he found that silly teenage girls would stalk him and yell "Bye! Bye!" after him, so he quickly shortened it to Mr. Birdie.
Most often he changes his plumage to fit his surroundings, and he enjoys long walks on the beach. Or rather, he enjoys long hops on the beach, because Mr. Birdie does not have any knees. He resents me terribly for it, but knees would totally ruin the flow of him. He also only has one leg, which he likes to point out to me every now and again with a tone of bitterness, but once again, I remind him, that he flows rather nicely now and any addition would make him look funny, or even worse, fat!
Mr. Birdie shows up in the oddest of places and has recently discovered the joy of myspace and British comedy with homosexual eroticism.
He lives in a tree and takes great pride in his marvelous taste when it comes to interior decorating. Always compliment his window treatments, for they are both beautiful and practical.
And that is a summary of my dear, good, friend Mr. Birdie. Maybe sometime I'll tell you about The Bringer of Coffee and Bug Boy . . . .