parents
So I sent my mom an e-mail saying I wanted to go to seminary last week. I did it that way because I was too chicken to tell them in person. I don't know, I thought they'd either be very happy or very upset. I guess the upsetness might come from thinking I am wasting money, or that it is not appropriate for a girl to do such things, but it's not like I'm trying to become a minister. I just want to enrich myself and prepare myself to write apolgetics, Christian living, even fiction. God told me to write a book about sin. Then he told me to go to seminary out of the blue. Aside from that this knowledge would help me in my servitude. I just know its something God has told me to do. I know there is the whole thing of women are not supposed to speak in the church. I don't know what that means, but I don't think it applies to writing or evangelizing. Anyway, I got an e-mail back today. My mom thinks its a good idea, and my dad is "thinking it over" and now I'm crying cause I'm scared he'll be mad and I know my brother is going to hear about it and I know for sure I will get all sorts of crap from him because he thinks I'm a loon and he'll tell me I'm wasting money and time and blah blah blah. I don't care about money. So I have to take out loans and pay them off for a long time. So what? There is more to life than money and enrichment is more important to me than being able to buy a new car or have a nice house. As long as I can provide for myself and help to provide for a future family, and even if I have to sacrifice so that my children can have a good life and envornment, that is fine with me. I just, don't want my parents, or I suppose my dad to not support me. But hey, I've never been supported by anyone in anything I do. I've never had a family that helped me with anything. I paid my own way through community college. I did it. I bought my own car, paid my own bills. I haven't heard "I love you" from them since I was a child. My brother questions and criticizes all my decisions. Everything that isn't done his way is wrong, but he follows the way of the world and I follow the way of God and the way of doing things because they bring me enrichment and fulfillment. Life is for living. Life is for living for God. I dunno, I need prayer. I'm really scared.