Revenge

Feb 10, 2009 17:06

Yay for work being completely dead all morning. I did some writing finally ( Read more... )

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Comments 4

liu_xing February 10 2009, 23:46:43 UTC
Totally amazing! I really like this line:

I'd go to jail, step on the third rail,
anything to never fail that pink polished finger nail.

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daisy_a_flower February 11 2009, 03:30:49 UTC
why thank you

<3

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amusinganomaly February 10 2009, 23:56:31 UTC
It's very good honey, and you're right, definitely crazy towards the end. I love the sound patterning, and I'm sure this is unintentional, but it really calls to mind Tom Minchin's beat poem. Not in tone, clearly, but definitely in sound - which I think is a good thing, since his writing is absolutely brilliant despite the joking subject matter.

It leaves me wanting to know more, which I think is often the sign of an interesting story.

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daisy_a_flower February 11 2009, 03:30:36 UTC
Well...I suppose technically it is intentional, but only in that I was attempting to write a beat poem and Minchin's are pretty much the epitome of beat-tastic beat poem.

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