some old poems
Untitled ~12/30/96
I love all of you, and life is too short, so love the one you got.
But what if I'm small? What if I'm nothing at all?
Momma said I gotta believe.
Words keep flowing, but nothing is making sense.
Am I making sense?
I'd like to share some time with you, but what if you're not there?
Are you out breaking my heart again?
I'm through, I don't love all of you, I tried...but I'm just not there...
I always rushed, and I kept tripping over my mistakes.
I guess I had better tie my shoes and try again, but this time I'll watch myself, and take it slower.
But will that really work?
Not in this fucked up world, yeah I know that, but you know me, I never listen to anyone, I always find out the hard way...
I can prove it!!! Do you want to see my scars?
I've got at least enough to kill me...
So...How come I'm not dead yet?
Maybe it's because I believe that there's someone out there worth living for.
(Yeah, I know there isn't, but can't I just hope?...)
Can't I just hope a little longer before you have to wake me up for school?.....
Me Vase ~1995
I am torn and frustrated
You made me cry, I never cry
You used me to your pleasure, then dropped me
You never saw how badly you broke me
I still try to pick up all the pieces of my shattered love
Every time you talk to me, you break whatever I had fixed
It's no use for me to fight your force
Now I look overmy life as I lay here broken again, and I think why?!
Why do I even bother mending myself?!
It will just happen again in a few days
You think it's all fine and good
But you dont realize what you do to me
I spend hours re-playing each moment and trying to see how
(lyrics from a metallica song)
Metallica (off the Load album) ~Mama Said
I took your love for granted and all the things you said to me.
I need your arms to welcome me, but cold stones all I see
let my heart go....