(no subject)
He makes me a lot happier than he knows....
I really hope this goes further..... I like him a lot. And today he started showing some serious return of feelings. Which made me smile and made my entire day better. And now that he's not here, I miss him like crazy.
Today I called Kelsea and it just felt like we were so far apart.... i miss Kelsea and Amanada. They have been so good to me and they have believed in me from the start. They have more confidence in me than my own family.
The other day I tried calling Brian, of course he didn't pick up. Why would he? Appearently there is beef between he and I? Uhhh, well see I don't see any. It's been a while since I talked to Brian, probably over a month.
With any luck, I won't ever have to go back to CL ever again. That place holds too many bad memories. I mean, it has some good ones, too, but the bad ones keep showing thier ugly heads..... It's a past life for me. And if I could completely bury that life, I would. College has taught me to stop running away from my problems.But there is nothing for me to face in CL... all my problems want to continue being problems, and never a solution.
There are a lot of people that aren't in my life anymore..... I sometimes miss them. But society is so cold-hearted now a days.... everyone is trying to be the same things or trying to make the same statement.... It's just not me. I don't want any part of it.
I found out the other night that one of my guy-friends had to rush his boyfriend to the hospital.... and the doctors wouldn't let him in the room because he wasn't his "spouse". I swear to God, if that ever happens to me in my life ever, I will not hesitate to fight my way in that room. Imagine a mother being denied entrance in to the room her child is being operated on in. There would be hysterics. If anyone ever treats me like less of a person because of a concept too many people are ignorant on, I will kill someone. I do not fear jail, or my own death. I will do whatever it takes to prove my point.
So for the record, don't fuck with me. Because I live everyday like I have nothing to lose. Go ahead and try to bring me down. You will regret it. I will get out of prison in twenty years, but you won't be able to walk for the rest of your life.
Understand?
I really hope this goes further..... I like him a lot. And today he started showing some serious return of feelings. Which made me smile and made my entire day better. And now that he's not here, I miss him like crazy.
Today I called Kelsea and it just felt like we were so far apart.... i miss Kelsea and Amanada. They have been so good to me and they have believed in me from the start. They have more confidence in me than my own family.
The other day I tried calling Brian, of course he didn't pick up. Why would he? Appearently there is beef between he and I? Uhhh, well see I don't see any. It's been a while since I talked to Brian, probably over a month.
With any luck, I won't ever have to go back to CL ever again. That place holds too many bad memories. I mean, it has some good ones, too, but the bad ones keep showing thier ugly heads..... It's a past life for me. And if I could completely bury that life, I would. College has taught me to stop running away from my problems.But there is nothing for me to face in CL... all my problems want to continue being problems, and never a solution.
There are a lot of people that aren't in my life anymore..... I sometimes miss them. But society is so cold-hearted now a days.... everyone is trying to be the same things or trying to make the same statement.... It's just not me. I don't want any part of it.
I found out the other night that one of my guy-friends had to rush his boyfriend to the hospital.... and the doctors wouldn't let him in the room because he wasn't his "spouse". I swear to God, if that ever happens to me in my life ever, I will not hesitate to fight my way in that room. Imagine a mother being denied entrance in to the room her child is being operated on in. There would be hysterics. If anyone ever treats me like less of a person because of a concept too many people are ignorant on, I will kill someone. I do not fear jail, or my own death. I will do whatever it takes to prove my point.
So for the record, don't fuck with me. Because I live everyday like I have nothing to lose. Go ahead and try to bring me down. You will regret it. I will get out of prison in twenty years, but you won't be able to walk for the rest of your life.
Understand?