Herp Derp!
So things have been pretty bad here on the home front lately. I went off my antidepressants a while ago, and it just snuck back up and tackled me to the ground xD It's only when I am left alone. I've had a really hard time lately with friends. People just aren't interested in visiting, and I never get invited out to anything. Like, ever. Like, I can't think of the last thing I was invited to. I get invited to parties because I am with Chad. MAAAAAN the last party I went to was terrible. I tried to make friends. Really really tried, and I crashed and burned and spent most of the time sitting alone in a chair because the 3 or more times I tried to talk to someone, they either walked away or flat out ignored me to my face. And the previous party I tried to talk to people at, even people I knew, and I spent like, 3/4 of the night sitting on the roof staring at the stars. SO. Idk. I'm tired of trying and trying to get people's attention, and failing no matter how I do it or how hard I try. And work is terrible because it's a souless place where people go to die. AHAHHAHAHA. Okay, so it's a call center where I am now the youngest person and the next youngest is in their 50's. SO I have no one to talk to and spend 8 hours a day playing spider solitaire because they won't even let us have books. And when I dressed up as American McGee's Alice last wednesday and went into work all excited and happy because, srsly, why would someone make someone else unhappy on Halloween? And I love cosplay, so I thought I would have a great day, but I was the only one in costume, really, as everyone else just wore like, at ears or a devil's tail, and they all felt the need to point out how silly I looked for going all out. It did not end well, and has only gotten worse as time goes on. If I am not dead by Dec 5th, I am putting in my 2 weeks notice so I have Chistmas off, because they want me to work noon-8 on Chistmas eve, so fuck them.
BUT BUT BUT. I am hoping, maybe, things can get better, because I applied to school last week for January and was accepted! I mean, my family doesn't care because it's college, not university, and they don't approve, and I don't have any friends to celebrate with, but... idk. It's really the only thing I have to look forward to, so I'm hanging onto this as a last-chance thing.
I'm going for a two year program in Computer Programming! So like, C++ and PHP and idk all the other languages. I WILL BE AN INTERNET WIZARD. It also has the option for a paid co-op in the second year, which I would love to have as it would be experience to put on a resume. And I was worried because my cousin Shaun did a 4 year Game Dev course and can't find a job, but apparently software programming has a huge amount of jobs open right now, which I could apply for. And, I mean, computers aren't exactly going to die down anytime soon, so I'm hoping this will actually be a helpful course to take. If I successfully pass that and enjoy doing it, I might take another course to be stronger at my programming. AND if computers go crazy and try to attack us all via SKYNET, I could hlp... somehow.. probably? xD
IDK, it's all I really have to look forward to, so it's what I am excited about these days. :]
BUT BUT BUT. I am hoping, maybe, things can get better, because I applied to school last week for January and was accepted! I mean, my family doesn't care because it's college, not university, and they don't approve, and I don't have any friends to celebrate with, but... idk. It's really the only thing I have to look forward to, so I'm hanging onto this as a last-chance thing.
I'm going for a two year program in Computer Programming! So like, C++ and PHP and idk all the other languages. I WILL BE AN INTERNET WIZARD. It also has the option for a paid co-op in the second year, which I would love to have as it would be experience to put on a resume. And I was worried because my cousin Shaun did a 4 year Game Dev course and can't find a job, but apparently software programming has a huge amount of jobs open right now, which I could apply for. And, I mean, computers aren't exactly going to die down anytime soon, so I'm hoping this will actually be a helpful course to take. If I successfully pass that and enjoy doing it, I might take another course to be stronger at my programming. AND if computers go crazy and try to attack us all via SKYNET, I could hlp... somehow.. probably? xD
IDK, it's all I really have to look forward to, so it's what I am excited about these days. :]