Post
The world is a giant puzzle piece. Ah hah, I caught you off guard. I did not begin this journal as I usually do. Normally I would begin a journal with a question for each and every one of you to ponder on. But no, I decided to change things up.
As I was saying. The world is a giant puzzle piece; pieces of different sizes, shapes, and colors, and each one begs to find where it belongs. Some feel they have found their place to be and are content. Others will cut pieces of themselves off so they can fit in with where they think they belong. And some are content being off to the side, and simply observing the other pieces.
I've been lost in thought recently and I find myself thinking of things I haven't thought of in a very long time. Old connections are shining forth, begging for my attention, while other connections slip away. I find myself wishing to communicate with a few of these connections, but unable to capture the words that spring forth from my soul. Perhaps it is also fear of rejection that makes me hesitant on communication. Who knows, really?
Either way it goes, my mind is in a state of turmoil. I roused myself from my bed to come and type this blog out. Granted, this blog is not the only reason. My ear keeps ringing, headaches attack me, and random spouts of nausea make resting nearly impossible. That, and again my thoughts are drawn to these old connections.
Maybe they will see this blog and realize some things. For example, what you are seeing is true. What I've told you is true. All you have to do is trust me.
That doesn't make sense to anyone else but to whom I am referring. And it isn't meant to make sense to anyone else.
I sign off for now, having stated the basis of my thoughts. Until we speak again, my friends.
EDIT:
I posted a journal on Deviantart in continuation to this one. It was just too good I had to share it again.
"What will I ponder about on this journal? I honestly haven't a clue. Though I know my mind beckons to a certain few and pray they will respond. Part of me doubts, of course, that they will. Perhaps they haven't the courage, or they don't believe. Who knows, to be honest.
I dream of things young and old, images from my past have come forth to ravage my mind and make me their slave. But it isn't all bad, not all the time. In my heart I hope for the days where all is well again, things were the way they were. I hope for the attention of certain eyes, and beg for the others to turn away.
What to do when the heart cries out with the answer and no one is around to hear it? What happens when you scream it, but everyone turns a deaf ear to it? When you BEG for them to pay just an ounce of attention so that you can prove something to yourself and them without worry of rejection or harmful words and they continue to ignore you? I don't know, to be honest. I can't find the answer alone, that is for sure.
I tug and pull at my connections, hoping one of them will give me the answer. I've yet to find it, but I will continue searching until I do have it.
I want to shout to the world what I feel, expose my mind for everyone to see. But a naked mind will be covered by something sooner or later, for do we really have the right to expression? Do we really have an opinion that is not forged from what someone wants us to believe? Or do we all just follow one chain and hope no one notices we are actually repeating the same thing over and over again?
Perhaps with my mind unwinding for all to see...perhaps THEN the answers will come. Maybe when a certain person looks upon this blog, they too will have that realization. That realization that what I say is real. They aren't crazy.
But who knows, right? Only time can tell, but I see time flying out of the window and taking patience with it. Maybe it is time for me to give up bashing my head against this metaphoric wall and try something else or give up entirely. I'm not sure.
Give me the answers I seek, great ones. Answer my prayers."
As I was saying. The world is a giant puzzle piece; pieces of different sizes, shapes, and colors, and each one begs to find where it belongs. Some feel they have found their place to be and are content. Others will cut pieces of themselves off so they can fit in with where they think they belong. And some are content being off to the side, and simply observing the other pieces.
I've been lost in thought recently and I find myself thinking of things I haven't thought of in a very long time. Old connections are shining forth, begging for my attention, while other connections slip away. I find myself wishing to communicate with a few of these connections, but unable to capture the words that spring forth from my soul. Perhaps it is also fear of rejection that makes me hesitant on communication. Who knows, really?
Either way it goes, my mind is in a state of turmoil. I roused myself from my bed to come and type this blog out. Granted, this blog is not the only reason. My ear keeps ringing, headaches attack me, and random spouts of nausea make resting nearly impossible. That, and again my thoughts are drawn to these old connections.
Maybe they will see this blog and realize some things. For example, what you are seeing is true. What I've told you is true. All you have to do is trust me.
That doesn't make sense to anyone else but to whom I am referring. And it isn't meant to make sense to anyone else.
I sign off for now, having stated the basis of my thoughts. Until we speak again, my friends.
EDIT:
I posted a journal on Deviantart in continuation to this one. It was just too good I had to share it again.
"What will I ponder about on this journal? I honestly haven't a clue. Though I know my mind beckons to a certain few and pray they will respond. Part of me doubts, of course, that they will. Perhaps they haven't the courage, or they don't believe. Who knows, to be honest.
I dream of things young and old, images from my past have come forth to ravage my mind and make me their slave. But it isn't all bad, not all the time. In my heart I hope for the days where all is well again, things were the way they were. I hope for the attention of certain eyes, and beg for the others to turn away.
What to do when the heart cries out with the answer and no one is around to hear it? What happens when you scream it, but everyone turns a deaf ear to it? When you BEG for them to pay just an ounce of attention so that you can prove something to yourself and them without worry of rejection or harmful words and they continue to ignore you? I don't know, to be honest. I can't find the answer alone, that is for sure.
I tug and pull at my connections, hoping one of them will give me the answer. I've yet to find it, but I will continue searching until I do have it.
I want to shout to the world what I feel, expose my mind for everyone to see. But a naked mind will be covered by something sooner or later, for do we really have the right to expression? Do we really have an opinion that is not forged from what someone wants us to believe? Or do we all just follow one chain and hope no one notices we are actually repeating the same thing over and over again?
Perhaps with my mind unwinding for all to see...perhaps THEN the answers will come. Maybe when a certain person looks upon this blog, they too will have that realization. That realization that what I say is real. They aren't crazy.
But who knows, right? Only time can tell, but I see time flying out of the window and taking patience with it. Maybe it is time for me to give up bashing my head against this metaphoric wall and try something else or give up entirely. I'm not sure.
Give me the answers I seek, great ones. Answer my prayers."