Phantom of the Opera and other rambles
I just recently watched the Phantom of the Opera again. Each time I watch the movie I get enraged at Christine for choosing Raohl instead of the Phantom. I mean, yes Raohl is the pretty boy, but the Phantom really loved her. He taught her how to sing, taught her everything she knows, etc. Raohl wanted her because he didn't want the Phantom to have her.
Don't worry, this isn't some strange movie review. If it were, I believe I'm a few decades late.
But I realized why I hated the fact that she chose Raohl instead of the Phantom. I can relate to the Phantom in quite a few ways. No I'm not some creepy guy hiding in the basement of the Opera house (you've discovered my secret. Damn you all! J/k). I've been in love with a person that loved me in return for the wrong reasons, or in reality didn't truly love ME at all. Christine "falls in love" with the phantom in order to save Raohl and the Phantom realized this. (By the way, this blog post won't make any sense unless you've seen Phantom of the Opera...so GO WATCH IT!). Also, there are times where I feel I must hide behind a mask to keep myself safe from the cruelties of this world. To avoid constant ridicule of my ways, my thoughts, my personality I must hide behind my mask. The Phantom, obviously, hides behind his mask and only takes it off to prove his point.
Perhaps I've put too much thought into everything, but to be frank with you atleast I have a reason behind my hatred of Christine's choice. I mean, if the Phantom is rejected merely because of his appearances and such, what does that mean for me? If I were to remove my mask and show my true feelings, emotions, etc, would I be rejected? I've removed my mask slightly for Kevin, but I have been trying so very hard to keep it up...I'm afraid if I let it down--too quickly or completely at all--he will run because he won't know how to deal with all of my...emotional baggage I guess. I couldn't help but let my mask down a few nights ago..I laid in Kevin's arms and I cried... I cried like I hadn't cried in years. I was afraid of making him uncomfortable... but...he did something that really...really made me respect him. He cried with me. He doesn't even truly understand the source of my tears, yet he cried with me. He held me and we cried together. He will never truly understand how much that meant to me and it is something that I will carry in my heart forever.
Graduation is coming up, and I am very nervous. But at the very same time I realize how excited I really am. My life is about to begin. No more being held down by Ruston High School's standards, no more worrying about if I am up to par... I will be able to be me, truly me, and throw my middle finger up to RHS and say "You tried to make me conform, you tried to turn me into a mindless zombie, and you failed miserably. You've created a monster, and this monster will become something absolutely great. And guess who won't get any credit for it!" Why give credit to the one thing that tried to pull you down, tried to brain wash you into mindless conformancy. They pointed fingers at the "unique" ones, tried to place the blame on all of us. If you were someone (meaning if your family had money, you were an athlete or a cheerleader, or you just knew how to kiss ass) then you never had any problems. "Oh he had his cell phone out in class? Eh, who cares. He is star football player!"
But I stray from the point.
Imagine that.
Anyway, I'm also VERY excited about August 17th. If you haven't figured out why by now, I miiiiiiight tell you. I miiiiiight not. Depending on who you are and if I really like you and/or want you to attend! ^.^
I believe I have officially rambled enough.
Don't worry, this isn't some strange movie review. If it were, I believe I'm a few decades late.
But I realized why I hated the fact that she chose Raohl instead of the Phantom. I can relate to the Phantom in quite a few ways. No I'm not some creepy guy hiding in the basement of the Opera house (you've discovered my secret. Damn you all! J/k). I've been in love with a person that loved me in return for the wrong reasons, or in reality didn't truly love ME at all. Christine "falls in love" with the phantom in order to save Raohl and the Phantom realized this. (By the way, this blog post won't make any sense unless you've seen Phantom of the Opera...so GO WATCH IT!). Also, there are times where I feel I must hide behind a mask to keep myself safe from the cruelties of this world. To avoid constant ridicule of my ways, my thoughts, my personality I must hide behind my mask. The Phantom, obviously, hides behind his mask and only takes it off to prove his point.
Perhaps I've put too much thought into everything, but to be frank with you atleast I have a reason behind my hatred of Christine's choice. I mean, if the Phantom is rejected merely because of his appearances and such, what does that mean for me? If I were to remove my mask and show my true feelings, emotions, etc, would I be rejected? I've removed my mask slightly for Kevin, but I have been trying so very hard to keep it up...I'm afraid if I let it down--too quickly or completely at all--he will run because he won't know how to deal with all of my...emotional baggage I guess. I couldn't help but let my mask down a few nights ago..I laid in Kevin's arms and I cried... I cried like I hadn't cried in years. I was afraid of making him uncomfortable... but...he did something that really...really made me respect him. He cried with me. He doesn't even truly understand the source of my tears, yet he cried with me. He held me and we cried together. He will never truly understand how much that meant to me and it is something that I will carry in my heart forever.
Graduation is coming up, and I am very nervous. But at the very same time I realize how excited I really am. My life is about to begin. No more being held down by Ruston High School's standards, no more worrying about if I am up to par... I will be able to be me, truly me, and throw my middle finger up to RHS and say "You tried to make me conform, you tried to turn me into a mindless zombie, and you failed miserably. You've created a monster, and this monster will become something absolutely great. And guess who won't get any credit for it!" Why give credit to the one thing that tried to pull you down, tried to brain wash you into mindless conformancy. They pointed fingers at the "unique" ones, tried to place the blame on all of us. If you were someone (meaning if your family had money, you were an athlete or a cheerleader, or you just knew how to kiss ass) then you never had any problems. "Oh he had his cell phone out in class? Eh, who cares. He is star football player!"
But I stray from the point.
Imagine that.
Anyway, I'm also VERY excited about August 17th. If you haven't figured out why by now, I miiiiiiight tell you. I miiiiiight not. Depending on who you are and if I really like you and/or want you to attend! ^.^
I believe I have officially rambled enough.