fuckkyou. and have a nice day.
i feel rotten. from the inside out. i;m beginning to hate life. everything about it. which is odd because for the people that know me see that i am always a very happy and outgoing person. living everyday to the fullest, but lately i just don;t give a shit. i could give two flying fucks what happens to me anymore. i;ve lost everything. from my bestfriend..and i think i;ve lost my mind. as crazy as that may sound. maybe i should be put back on some fucken medication. just to even me out. i spend my days saying "shit happens" and being mean to ignorant little bitches for no reason other than the fact that they;re there. they;re in my space. i smoke. i drink. me, not drinking for fun anymore. but to numb myself from all of the pain and resentment i hide inside. i;ve always been a strong person. but now that;s being put to the test. i want my bestfriend back. i wish i could go back in time and erase everything back to like 5 months ago, when things were great. and we would do anything for eachother. and she was always by myside. i miss her. fuckk. i sound like a pathetic loser. especially since i know that i;ve spent the last two days crying and wanting to call her, she;s out doing the same shit the fight started over. whatever. i don;t blame her. i knew one of us had to sit this night out. the awkwardness would have been too intense. the night would;ve ened bad. and i think we both knew that. fuckk man. i just wish i had my bestfriend back.