.00032-FanFic : Over the Grief
♥ Over the Grief- Chapter 7 ♥
Title: Over the Grief
Author: daisay
Rating: T
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Content Warning: Drama/Romance
Summary: Set in season 4- Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship. Can they get over the past hurt and move on?
A/N: Here is the seventh chapter for you. I hope you enjoy this.
Sitting on the edge of her childhood's bed, Lindsay was deeply lost in her thoughts with her head hung with her hands. A soft knock sounded at the door and she raised her head as she turned her face toward the sound.
The door opened a little from the outside and her oldest brother Steve's face peeped in.
Offering his sister a smile, Steve hopped into her room. "Hey, Baby Girl! How are you feeling?" he said as blithely as possible to cheer her up.
Lindsay felt her pangs and distresses relieved just a little as she heard her oldest brother's jovial tone. She was fully cognizant of his intention that he tried in an desperate attempt to invigorate her, putting aside his own grief for their parents' death. Lindsay worked hardest to recompense his boost. "Yeah, a small nap absolutely helped me feel better," she said offering Steve a wan smile.
Despite her frantic effort not to be a cause for his further concern, her red‐rimmed eyes swollen with tears and dark circles beneath them - no matter how bad she wanted to hide them - revealed that she had apparently cried for too much grief and worn herself to sleep, and it killed Steve deeply.
Steve narrowly suppressed a sigh that inadvertently came near to heaving out of his mouth. "Good to hear that."
"Yeah...Speaking of which, where have you been?" Lindsay questioned staring at her brother, wondering why he went out of the house simply saying that he would be right back shortly after they came back from their parents' funeral.
"Did Jeff or Chris tell you that?" Steve referred to the names of his two younger brothers.
"Yeah, Chris told me that not long after I woke up from a nap."
"Well, I just went to see an old friend of mine because he went out of his way to offer me his condolences for Mom and Dad," Steve lied with pretended nonchalance. He was going to keep it a secret from Lindsay that he used her cell phone to call Danny and went to see him during her nap.
"Uh-huh. I see." Lindsay didn't seem to have the slightest suspicion about what her brother just told her.
After a little moment of thinking, Steve strode off to the bed, sat down next to her and asked her in a soft voice, stroking a gentle hand over his sister's silky-brown hair. "You know what? Is it Danny who appeared at the funeral?"
"Yeah...so what?" Lindsay replied in a shaky tone as she was fully conscious of it. She hadn't expected that her brother would bring up the topic - the most unwelcome one at present. Not wanting to meet his gaze that was undoubtedly seeking hers out, she cast her eyes down at her hands clasped on the laps. She didn't want to talk about Danny. She wasn't psyched up for that talk- not yet.
"That guy flew over here because of too much concern about you? Don't you have to see him before he returns to New York?" Steve asked her as he looked into her from under trying to catch her downcast eyes.
"...Sooner or later, I have to see him at work when I go back to New York, so I don't need to see him right here and now!" Lindsay said in a harsh but shaky tone.
"Lindsay..."
"You know, Steve? I don't want to talk about him because I can't think straight right now. Besides! I broke up with him, so what do I have to talk about him, do you think?"
"I know what you mean, Lindsay. I know well the unexpected violent death of Mom and Dad was even more devastating to you when the severe blow of the split of you two was still raw," Steve reassured her knowingly.
"I feel like there is a hole in my heart, that the unbearable emptiness is driving me mad, Steve. I don't know how much longer I can hold out against being crushed by grief." Her voice gradually became hoarse in tears. "If you know me so well, let me alone. Plea...se..." Choked sobs rose from Lindsay's throat, and the last part of her words was so faint that Steve could barely hear it.
"I miss...Mom and Dad. Thinking how much they regretted having to go into eternity hearing my last voice so depressed in grief, I...I..." Lindsay couldn't hold back something welling up in her eyes any more and she sobbed her heart out.
Letting out a deep sigh, Steve wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his comforting embrace, rubbed her back softly with the palm of his large hand. "I know, I know how much you miss Mom and Dad." Thinking how much agony his sister had to go through so far, Steve could do nothing more than comfort her.
After a few minutes, Steve finally opened his heavy mouth. "I'll tell you what, I don't know why you two have broken up, nor do I want to know the reason. But I want you to know this."
Hearing her brother's soft but firm voice, Lindsay finally glanced up at him.
"If you two go your separate ways, you're going to regret it. I know you are. I can see it in your eyes and I don't want you to regret."
Steve's serious eyes seemed to tell Lindsay that he could read her mind. She tried to keep calm on the surface but couldn't hide her agitation inside. "Steve..." She winced but Steve's eyes didn't miss it.
Taking her hand, "Lindsay, look at me," said Steve. "I want you to be honest with yourself. Mom and Dad up above should hope so, too. Listen to the instruction of your heart, and you'll know your true feelings."
Just as she was told by Steve, Lindsay closed her eyes to listen to what her heart would tell herself. Her parents' violent death immediately following Danny's betrayal and her miscarriage had hit her rock bottom of grief and despair, yet not a single day passed by but she remembered him. It was Danny that she remembered no matter how deeply he broke her heart; the time spending together with him, the memories with him, his gentle look and smile toward her. A mere thought of him had comforted her all the time. Before she realized it, he had become such a special person to her that she couldn't let him go or throw such a memory away. How many times had she prayed that her love for him would leave out of her heart as soon as humanly possible - every second counts. She, however, couldn't possibly get Danny off her mind no matter how desperately she tried. Her heart always returned to him. She had a special place for him in her heart.
Lindsay raised her head, eyes now open, the realization suddenly crossing her mind. Her chocolate orbs connected with his sparkling pools of the same hues as her own.
"Get it?" Steve said offering her a reassuring smile.
"Yeah...Got it." A faint smile found its way to Lindsay's face.
A smile lit Steve's face as he detected a small smile on his sister's face. "Good. That's my baby girl!"
"But Steve..." Lindsay winced.
"But what?" Steve encouraged her to carry on in a soft voice.
"...I wonder if I could really forgive Danny. No, that's not exactly what I want to say. The truth is...I don't think I will be able to trust and love someone once again...I mean...with my heart. Besides, what if he has already let me go and moved on after I adamantly turned down his dearest desire for another chance," Lindsay asked her brother insecurely.
Rubbing his sister's cheek softly with the pad of his thumb, "Sure, you can. I'm also sure Danny will be waiting for you. Otherwise, he never flew over to you, don't you think so?" Steve said in a reassuring voice as he was reminded of Danny's firm words and face when he said that he loved Lindsay with his life.
"I don't know, but I hope so," Lindsay said smiling feebly.
"Trust me, sweetie," Steve said firmly. "And as for forgiveness, to forgive can be harder than to love. But love is believing and forgiving at the same time, Lindsay. I think we need a lot more courage to forgive than to love, but we will be able to be gentle with others as much grief as we were through," Steve whispered. "Lindsay, I know you're still through many things, but we also know time heals all wounds. When the time is right, you two need to talk. Discuss every little detail and include both your past and future," he reiterated the very same lines as he offered Danny just a couple of hours earlier.
Feeling her brother's tender touch, Lindsay nodded in understanding.
To be continued...