Oh, the humanity!
For those who love poetry, writing, and humorous snarks about the tortuous publishing process, I give you an excerpt from this great article about the site www.rejectionletter.com (at which authors post the rejection letters they've received and moan about how unfair they are):
This one is just painful. In it we see an aspiring “poetry parodist from Texas” completely missing the point of what I have long thought was the coolest standard rejection note in the literary magazine constellation:
The Letter:
(On a little card with the magazine's name[Very Prestigious University Located in Central USA Review])
This is just to say
we have taken some plums
we found in our mailbox.
You were hoping they would be
yours. Forgive us,
others seemed
sweeter
or colder
more bold
or whatever.
How did this letter make you feel?
Miserable. Suicidal. Wondering “What the @#!$ is that all about?” What does produce have to do with my poems? And that “whatever” part. How specific. How to the point. I think I'm going to go torture myself now.
What bothered you the most about this letter?
It's a rejection card. How impersonal. Most places at least scribble something with a pen like “Good, but we're out of business” or something. This was just a stupid card with some little ditty about plums.
Do I have to explain that they're riffing on what is arguably the most famous short modern poem in American literature? How can you be an aspiring poet and not recognize that one? Or, how can you do that much suffering over a mysterious rejection notice without running it past a high school English teacher, or googling on plums, sweet, cold?
*rolls eyes* Oy.
This one is just painful. In it we see an aspiring “poetry parodist from Texas” completely missing the point of what I have long thought was the coolest standard rejection note in the literary magazine constellation:
The Letter:
(On a little card with the magazine's name[Very Prestigious University Located in Central USA Review])
This is just to say
we have taken some plums
we found in our mailbox.
You were hoping they would be
yours. Forgive us,
others seemed
sweeter
or colder
more bold
or whatever.
How did this letter make you feel?
Miserable. Suicidal. Wondering “What the @#!$ is that all about?” What does produce have to do with my poems? And that “whatever” part. How specific. How to the point. I think I'm going to go torture myself now.
What bothered you the most about this letter?
It's a rejection card. How impersonal. Most places at least scribble something with a pen like “Good, but we're out of business” or something. This was just a stupid card with some little ditty about plums.
Do I have to explain that they're riffing on what is arguably the most famous short modern poem in American literature? How can you be an aspiring poet and not recognize that one? Or, how can you do that much suffering over a mysterious rejection notice without running it past a high school English teacher, or googling on plums, sweet, cold?
*rolls eyes* Oy.