(no subject)
I'm very unhappy with the way I've been handling Kaden's nighttime tantrums. It just doesn't sit well with me to leave him crying and whining and screaming for however long it takes him to calm down. I mean, that's totally CIO. He's three, so it's not as though he's an infant who can't understand WHY I'm not coming to get him, but frankly, he's upset because he has a need that isn't being met.
But I can't sleep with him. And I can't let him sleep with me. Physically, I can't do it. The one night I tried was terrible, and given that I'm 7 months pregnant and unlikely to get a good night's sleep for the next year or more, I want to be rested. And my needs count, too, IMHO.
But I can't figure out how to do this any other way. Dan's parents both put him down last night with lots of stories, cuddles, kisses and attention. Grandpa even stayed in the room till Kaden was nearly asleep and when he left there was no fussing at all. 1/2 an hour later, though, at 11 pm, Kaden woke up and came crying to my room, wailing for Mommy. He woke me out of a dead sleep. I had gone to bed at 9 because I was just exhausted yesterday and I was SO PISSED at him for waking me up. I opened my door and pointed back to his room. He went, crying the whole way, then turned around and tried to come back. I just kept pointing, didn't say a word. He went to his bed and cried for 10 minutes, then settled down to sleep.
It was torture. I know he's lonely, I know he misses Dan, I know all he wants is some attention but I just CANNOT GIVE IT TO HIM at 11 pm. I just can't. And I've tried going in there and lying down with him for 2 minutes, for 10 minutes, for 20 minutes. I've tried putting him down myself. Nothing seems to matter; he just gets agitated as soon as I separate myself from him. Surprisingly, naptimes are perfect. Story (or two) some kisses, 2 minutes of cuddling, and bam, I walk away and he's fine. Even if he's not tired, he'll lie there singing to himself for a while and then go to sleep. It's not the dark vs the light of daytime, because he has a nightlight and last night all the lights in the living room were still on; it was like daytime up there.
I just want him to stop and go to sleep like he was a week ago. I hate hate HATE listening to him cry for me and not having the energy to go to him. I hate that he's so upset and that I'm not responding. I wish Dan were here.
But I can't sleep with him. And I can't let him sleep with me. Physically, I can't do it. The one night I tried was terrible, and given that I'm 7 months pregnant and unlikely to get a good night's sleep for the next year or more, I want to be rested. And my needs count, too, IMHO.
But I can't figure out how to do this any other way. Dan's parents both put him down last night with lots of stories, cuddles, kisses and attention. Grandpa even stayed in the room till Kaden was nearly asleep and when he left there was no fussing at all. 1/2 an hour later, though, at 11 pm, Kaden woke up and came crying to my room, wailing for Mommy. He woke me out of a dead sleep. I had gone to bed at 9 because I was just exhausted yesterday and I was SO PISSED at him for waking me up. I opened my door and pointed back to his room. He went, crying the whole way, then turned around and tried to come back. I just kept pointing, didn't say a word. He went to his bed and cried for 10 minutes, then settled down to sleep.
It was torture. I know he's lonely, I know he misses Dan, I know all he wants is some attention but I just CANNOT GIVE IT TO HIM at 11 pm. I just can't. And I've tried going in there and lying down with him for 2 minutes, for 10 minutes, for 20 minutes. I've tried putting him down myself. Nothing seems to matter; he just gets agitated as soon as I separate myself from him. Surprisingly, naptimes are perfect. Story (or two) some kisses, 2 minutes of cuddling, and bam, I walk away and he's fine. Even if he's not tired, he'll lie there singing to himself for a while and then go to sleep. It's not the dark vs the light of daytime, because he has a nightlight and last night all the lights in the living room were still on; it was like daytime up there.
I just want him to stop and go to sleep like he was a week ago. I hate hate HATE listening to him cry for me and not having the energy to go to him. I hate that he's so upset and that I'm not responding. I wish Dan were here.