Disappointed
I'm disappointed that I'm disappointed. I don't know why I yearn for unconditional love, and why I have felt like I have never received it. There are people in my life who love me, I know that.
I just feel like I have been abandoned somehow. I was never quite good enough for anyone or anything. Shortcuts, direct roads. What is the reason for me to exist and be here? I'm scattered. I know there are good friends and family who love me, yet I feel like I have always been losing. Fall short. I'm tired. I really am. I just want to do one perfect thing, but it's impossible.
This entry isn't written when I'm in my right mind. I know that, too.
It's not like I want attention, either, otherwise I won't be hiding here.
I just want to feel like I won't be abandoned. I don't know how to ask that from people. I just... I expect more from me.