♣23.08.15
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August is nearing its end. And that means two things. I get a year older and I start a new year in school. I always feel like saying univeristy rather than school because that clarification just sounds so much nicer. I never understood why; maybe because of how important it feels to me that I have to broadcast it. School always seemed to unimportant to me at times. In junior high and highschool. It was always about living the experience and making the most friends. The work just seemed so secondary. But it's getting so different now.
I want to work. I want to study and plan and write and learn. It's just so interesting. Learning new things and understanding the topics. Its so fun; I don't have a better word but it truly is. It isn't always about the friends. Although it is nice. It's about the words and it feels good. But this summer felt so good. I felt active, not exercise wise (I don't understand why I can't push myself to be exercise active but that's for another time) but just busy active wise. It was good busy. I liked doing the work. I liked practicing how to drive with my dad and then achieving a license out of it. I like scrambling for work and getting my first job because of it. I liked constant story planning and getting tons of writing written. I know next summer I will be sitting in a classroom fulfilling some of my school's degree requirements but I feel as of now, I don't mind. I like that school. I like my summer. I like active.
University did an entire 360 change on me. And not a bad change. A needed change. It helped me reevaluate my choices and my needs. I needed to grow up and take control. I had to become more approachable. I used to hide behind my friends and get sad if they weren't there. I remember once, a friend of mine went on a roadtrip and she was driving and she couldn't text me and that just devastated me. I was a mess. I slept half the day cause I had nothing to do. I didn't even think about the fact that maybe my family and I could go out. Or that I could write or that I could watch a movie for god sakes. I slept cause she was busy. I wasted my day cause I couldn't put myself first. We had this habit of literally (quite literally, it was a problem now I think about it) texting each other 24/7. I would be so apologetic if I went for a workout. She would text me during my workout. It was terrible. It was such a bad feeling. Then came middle of grade 12 and the change started. I started to listen to new music and studied a bit (emphasis on the 'a bit') longer. And that summer I grew up. I finally turned 18 even though that was coming to an end and I should have been getting ready for 19. I made new friends. I giggled more and university I made more friends I became a giggle mess with them. It was great. It is great.
University is scary. Moving is scary. School is scary. But it is so many other great things. It helps you discover yourself. It helps you realize who you are and what you love. It helps you realize that your choices are important. University is a good place. It is encouraging. By looking at your seniors you know you want that. It gives you goals. And honestly, if I can do it. So can you. Just don't be scared of change. It can bring new things. And you are important. Even in a crowd of 30 people or 100. You will get through it. Good luck in school!