Shittyshitshit
So basically it boiled down to this: he doesn't love me the same way I love him.
It's pretty complicated.
I'm having a pretty hard time with it. He was my backbone for so long that now I don't really know what to do. Even when he was gone, he was still there for me. Even during boot camp, when we didn't have any contact except for some letters, he was still there, in some weird way. And now, suddenly, it's all over.
I have no idea how it happened, and I feel like dying.
I'm having extreme ups and downs with it, though. Sometimes I'll cry crying in the middle of class, other times I don't give a flying fuck and I'm fine.
I'm going to start going to the counseling center on campus. First and foremost because I'm extremely depressed. My friends help, yes, but they're not professionals. They're actually the ones that want me to go. I'm also going to go because I've realized that I am clingy, dependent, obsessive, and abusive in relationships. I know I need help.
Other than all that loveliness, not much is going on. Cozart is coming up today to hang out and clean my room, haha. I love her to death, it's going to suck so much when she goes over seas (Saturday.) But she will have internet, so at least there's that. Hopefully there will be a window in the time difference that we're both up and functioning.
It's pretty complicated.
I'm having a pretty hard time with it. He was my backbone for so long that now I don't really know what to do. Even when he was gone, he was still there for me. Even during boot camp, when we didn't have any contact except for some letters, he was still there, in some weird way. And now, suddenly, it's all over.
I have no idea how it happened, and I feel like dying.
I'm having extreme ups and downs with it, though. Sometimes I'll cry crying in the middle of class, other times I don't give a flying fuck and I'm fine.
I'm going to start going to the counseling center on campus. First and foremost because I'm extremely depressed. My friends help, yes, but they're not professionals. They're actually the ones that want me to go. I'm also going to go because I've realized that I am clingy, dependent, obsessive, and abusive in relationships. I know I need help.
Other than all that loveliness, not much is going on. Cozart is coming up today to hang out and clean my room, haha. I love her to death, it's going to suck so much when she goes over seas (Saturday.) But she will have internet, so at least there's that. Hopefully there will be a window in the time difference that we're both up and functioning.