and that's all the time that it takes
(for a heart to beat again)
I'm doing better. For a week I was completely distraught and couldn't eat and slept even MORE than I usually did, but I think I've gotten past the worst of it. I decided that it hurts more to avoid Pat and Elissa than to see either of them, so Pat and I watched some Project Runway. I'm not sure when we'll watch more Bones because when he's got free time of course it'll more likely be spent with her than me, but at least I don't have to feel like I completely lost a person that is so important to me.
Of course I will still be jealous and it will take a long time to get over this, but I'm not constantly angry or distraught anymore. The only problem I still have with them doing anything is that it means he won't be doing it with me. It still makes me sad when I wake up in the middle of the night and hear things, but not like last week even. The worst part is that I just want to kiss him and cuddle with him, but those just aren't options anymore. I suppose cuddling isn't forbidden, but I really doubt I'd be able to stop there so it's best to just avoid physical contact still.
Brian has been so good to me during all this time (including when I anticipated this happening a while ago). He listens to my whining with minimal complaints and cuddles with me at night even though he doesn't like my firm mattress. I don't know how I would be dealing with everything if he wasn't so patient with me. I'd probably have gone down to Chicago and cried on Kate's shoulder every night or slept at my parent's house for a week.
I've had jury duty this week, and it is definitely interesting. I got called twice as a potential juror so far. The first time was a civil case and I was not selected as a juror. The second time was a murder case and the selection process was longer and much more stressful (just because I did not want to be on the jury). Fortunately I was not selected for that trial either. Massive relief. I don't want to be on any case I don't think, but there's still two more days that I might be called, so it's impossible to say what will happen.
I'm doing better. For a week I was completely distraught and couldn't eat and slept even MORE than I usually did, but I think I've gotten past the worst of it. I decided that it hurts more to avoid Pat and Elissa than to see either of them, so Pat and I watched some Project Runway. I'm not sure when we'll watch more Bones because when he's got free time of course it'll more likely be spent with her than me, but at least I don't have to feel like I completely lost a person that is so important to me.
Of course I will still be jealous and it will take a long time to get over this, but I'm not constantly angry or distraught anymore. The only problem I still have with them doing anything is that it means he won't be doing it with me. It still makes me sad when I wake up in the middle of the night and hear things, but not like last week even. The worst part is that I just want to kiss him and cuddle with him, but those just aren't options anymore. I suppose cuddling isn't forbidden, but I really doubt I'd be able to stop there so it's best to just avoid physical contact still.
Brian has been so good to me during all this time (including when I anticipated this happening a while ago). He listens to my whining with minimal complaints and cuddles with me at night even though he doesn't like my firm mattress. I don't know how I would be dealing with everything if he wasn't so patient with me. I'd probably have gone down to Chicago and cried on Kate's shoulder every night or slept at my parent's house for a week.
I've had jury duty this week, and it is definitely interesting. I got called twice as a potential juror so far. The first time was a civil case and I was not selected as a juror. The second time was a murder case and the selection process was longer and much more stressful (just because I did not want to be on the jury). Fortunately I was not selected for that trial either. Massive relief. I don't want to be on any case I don't think, but there's still two more days that I might be called, so it's impossible to say what will happen.