fuck monogamy
Why can't everyone love everyone and be all open and shit!
I guess this is better in the long run, probably, but FUCK!
I posted this quote in my entry about telling my mom about Pat. This time it's about Pat again. It turns out he's too monogamous to stay with me forever. Love means needing someone to be happy more than wanting them to be with you. I know she's really good for him and that they make each other happy, but FUCK it makes me feel a bit worthless. All in all I do not regret being with him. The greatest joy and the greatest pain I have ever felt were both due to love. It'll be more pain for a while, but that is the price for the happiness that I had with him over the past year. I will endure this pain and eventually let myself open to the risk of feeling as much again someday.
I'd try to guard myself against being in a mono-poly situation again, but I learned years ago that I don't pick who I fall for. No regrets, just an indeterminate amount of time that I'm going to have hair trigger emotions.
Naamah's Curse, Jacqueline Carey p. 270
"I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love. It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss. Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy."
I guess this is better in the long run, probably, but FUCK!
I posted this quote in my entry about telling my mom about Pat. This time it's about Pat again. It turns out he's too monogamous to stay with me forever. Love means needing someone to be happy more than wanting them to be with you. I know she's really good for him and that they make each other happy, but FUCK it makes me feel a bit worthless. All in all I do not regret being with him. The greatest joy and the greatest pain I have ever felt were both due to love. It'll be more pain for a while, but that is the price for the happiness that I had with him over the past year. I will endure this pain and eventually let myself open to the risk of feeling as much again someday.
I'd try to guard myself against being in a mono-poly situation again, but I learned years ago that I don't pick who I fall for. No regrets, just an indeterminate amount of time that I'm going to have hair trigger emotions.
Naamah's Curse, Jacqueline Carey p. 270
"I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love. It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss. Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy."