honestly!
Why do I have to be drunk to
1. Be in the mood for anything naughty
2. Go AFTER anything naughty
3. make lj posts.
It's really really bad. The last several times I've done anything it's been while drunk. I think somehow my body has associated drunk with naughty and vice versa because I really just have no desire to do anything beyond kissing when sober, regardless of what I have done with person whoever in the past and current relationship, but when I'm drunk, FLIRT FLIRT OVERTIME and if something happens, AWESOME. I love my boys, but do NOT want them touching me in scandalous places unless I have had some alcohols. Then I am all for many racy activities. How am I supposed to break this chain when I truly don't want anything when sober? Force myself to do whatever? I don't know how it got to this point and I don't know how to fix it. I really should make an appointment with counselor person except I'm not sure whether I'll be changing insurances this summer or not due to my mother possibly going on strike and me changing to the U's insurance. Fuck Boynton, fuck them so bad.
At the moment I am staying awake until I feel more tired than drunk because that will mean that I will not feel like death tomorrow. Muffins and water and vitamins are good for that. Blegh, whenever I do what I want when I'm sober, it's just me going to sleep. What can I do? Blegh.
1. Be in the mood for anything naughty
2. Go AFTER anything naughty
3. make lj posts.
It's really really bad. The last several times I've done anything it's been while drunk. I think somehow my body has associated drunk with naughty and vice versa because I really just have no desire to do anything beyond kissing when sober, regardless of what I have done with person whoever in the past and current relationship, but when I'm drunk, FLIRT FLIRT OVERTIME and if something happens, AWESOME. I love my boys, but do NOT want them touching me in scandalous places unless I have had some alcohols. Then I am all for many racy activities. How am I supposed to break this chain when I truly don't want anything when sober? Force myself to do whatever? I don't know how it got to this point and I don't know how to fix it. I really should make an appointment with counselor person except I'm not sure whether I'll be changing insurances this summer or not due to my mother possibly going on strike and me changing to the U's insurance. Fuck Boynton, fuck them so bad.
At the moment I am staying awake until I feel more tired than drunk because that will mean that I will not feel like death tomorrow. Muffins and water and vitamins are good for that. Blegh, whenever I do what I want when I'm sober, it's just me going to sleep. What can I do? Blegh.