(no subject)
Am I a bad person because I get frustrated when some social gathering gets in the way of my workout schedule? Like family dinners, primarily. I've been doing the whole gym thing for about 3 months now, and haven't been able to do it consistently, five days a week, long enough because it keeps getting interrupted. Like, I workout at about 4 in the afternoon, Wed - Sun. I work and go to class all day before that during the week, and after that I have homework. So when someone asks me to do dinner at five o'clock, I get upset. Because I usually have to drive across town, which takes at least half an hour at that time of the day, and because I have previous plans, and because they do not give me any reasonable options. I work around their schedule or nothing at all. I know that friends and family are important, but I have very little me time. And what I like to do in my me time is go to a movie or dinner, or rent a movie and have drinks at home. Not drive across town to go to some bar where everything's expensive and they don't have anything I like, or spend four hours on dinner because people are always late.
I'm also frustrated because, as someone who does not drink a lot, all my friends want to do is go to bars. And get drunk. And everything is funny to them because they're drunk but I'm tired because I've been up since 7 and bored because drunk funny is not the same as sober funny. And pretending to be amused by something that is not funny or interesting is exhausting.
Even worse is when I drive 30 minutes to a bar I don't like and have to deal with people texting constantly. It basically says, "Hanging out with you is not actually important to me." If you would rather have a text conversation with someone else than spend time with me, then it's not worth it for me to rearrange my schedule and drive all the way out to see you. So don't bitch about me being a bad friend because I like to have real conversations with the people I am sitting at a table with.
Anyway, I've been feeling rather manicky lately. I'll be super energized and productive one minute, and then the next I'm lethargic and all I want to do is sit and eat. Or take a nap. I've been trying to wean myself off caffeine, but this doesn't seem to be working out so well. I've found that whenever I come to write here, I start a post and then have nothing I feel like saying. Because I can just talk to Erik instead. Sorry lj, you've been replaced :(
I'm also frustrated because, as someone who does not drink a lot, all my friends want to do is go to bars. And get drunk. And everything is funny to them because they're drunk but I'm tired because I've been up since 7 and bored because drunk funny is not the same as sober funny. And pretending to be amused by something that is not funny or interesting is exhausting.
Even worse is when I drive 30 minutes to a bar I don't like and have to deal with people texting constantly. It basically says, "Hanging out with you is not actually important to me." If you would rather have a text conversation with someone else than spend time with me, then it's not worth it for me to rearrange my schedule and drive all the way out to see you. So don't bitch about me being a bad friend because I like to have real conversations with the people I am sitting at a table with.
Anyway, I've been feeling rather manicky lately. I'll be super energized and productive one minute, and then the next I'm lethargic and all I want to do is sit and eat. Or take a nap. I've been trying to wean myself off caffeine, but this doesn't seem to be working out so well. I've found that whenever I come to write here, I start a post and then have nothing I feel like saying. Because I can just talk to Erik instead. Sorry lj, you've been replaced :(