Verse Advice by Edward Gorey
Some Things You Ought, Perhaps, to Hear
Before You Start a Brand New Year
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The one who wants to put on airs
should not attempt them on the stairs
It's possible to pick up crumbs
by pressing on them with the thumbs
The person who today is here
may by tomorrow disappear
The helpful thought for which you look
is written somewhere in a book
Upon your person keep a pill
In case you're taken deathly ill
A one or two inch length of string
cannot be used for anything
It's well we cannot hear the screams
we make in other people's dreams
At twilight objects often start
to make odd sounds and fall apart
A random thought, if said aloud
may soon attract a hostile crowd
One cannot hope to end ones life
with nothing but a butter knife
A timely use of glue or paste
may well prevent a shocking waste
The seaweed on the shore crys out
but only it knows what about
Before You Start a Brand New Year
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The one who wants to put on airs
should not attempt them on the stairs
It's possible to pick up crumbs
by pressing on them with the thumbs
The person who today is here
may by tomorrow disappear
The helpful thought for which you look
is written somewhere in a book
Upon your person keep a pill
In case you're taken deathly ill
A one or two inch length of string
cannot be used for anything
It's well we cannot hear the screams
we make in other people's dreams
At twilight objects often start
to make odd sounds and fall apart
A random thought, if said aloud
may soon attract a hostile crowd
One cannot hope to end ones life
with nothing but a butter knife
A timely use of glue or paste
may well prevent a shocking waste
The seaweed on the shore crys out
but only it knows what about