"Look, Mr. Frodo! A mastodon!"
10,000 B.C.
Why the fuck 10,000? Oh, of course- the mastodon battles.
Just to clear this up, in case only Maplewood taught the Ice Ages more times than the Oregon Trail- nothing about this movie looks less than 5,000 years off. No humans ever rode mastodons into battle, or utilized their mega fauna strength to build Ice Age pyramids. It's unfortunate because that would've been pretty rad, but it's a fact. Why we never tamed our furry, be-tusked friends or rocked the giant igloo:
1. There were no epic battles in 10,000 B.C. because we hadn't settled down, and therefore hadn't gotten territorial. And why would you keep a herd of these friends in your nomadic back yard, if you were never going to sick them on anyone?
2. Since we hadn't settled down, I'm pretty sure- really pretty positive- that the idea of erecting monumental architecture, which served no survival purpose, would've seemed even more absurd than this movie.
3. And lastly- Mastodons were feisty motherfuckers, and impossible to train. The biggest problem, though, would've been trying to fit a mastodon into your cave in the first place; the first and only documented Pleistocene pet was the fabled Giant Ground Octopus (invertibres, they could fit into a cave so well you'd lose them)
All that said, I'm for sure going to see it anyway. I hope there are neanderthals.
Why the fuck 10,000? Oh, of course- the mastodon battles.
Just to clear this up, in case only Maplewood taught the Ice Ages more times than the Oregon Trail- nothing about this movie looks less than 5,000 years off. No humans ever rode mastodons into battle, or utilized their mega fauna strength to build Ice Age pyramids. It's unfortunate because that would've been pretty rad, but it's a fact. Why we never tamed our furry, be-tusked friends or rocked the giant igloo:
1. There were no epic battles in 10,000 B.C. because we hadn't settled down, and therefore hadn't gotten territorial. And why would you keep a herd of these friends in your nomadic back yard, if you were never going to sick them on anyone?
2. Since we hadn't settled down, I'm pretty sure- really pretty positive- that the idea of erecting monumental architecture, which served no survival purpose, would've seemed even more absurd than this movie.
3. And lastly- Mastodons were feisty motherfuckers, and impossible to train. The biggest problem, though, would've been trying to fit a mastodon into your cave in the first place; the first and only documented Pleistocene pet was the fabled Giant Ground Octopus (invertibres, they could fit into a cave so well you'd lose them)
All that said, I'm for sure going to see it anyway. I hope there are neanderthals.