We'll Be Okay [Day 5: Desperation]
Title: We'll Be Okay
Author: andromedacain
Prompt #: Desperation
Prompt table: I
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing: Finn/Puck
Genre: Slash
Word count: 915
Disclamer: I will never own Glee.
Summary: Finn's worried about Puck.
When Puck kisses Finn, it’s always with a sort of desperation. Like every kiss might be their last.
He’s not exactly sure why. Finn has a feeling it might be because Puck’s father skipped out on him, creating a fear of abandonment that’s leaked into his regular day life. Finn’s assured Puck countless times that he’s never going to leave, that he doesn’t want to. Puck makes derogatory comments as almost a reflex action. Yet he’s gentler with Finn, after those words of encouragement, though he doesn’t seem to notice.
But the next day it’s back to desperate, passionate kisses. Finn’s not sure how to show Puck exactly how much he loves the shorter teen. He’s also not sure if Puck would admit his true feelings. Because no matter how cool he acts, or how mean he gets, or how many times he complains, Finn has no doubt in his mind that Puck loves him. It’s in the way Puck looks at him, or how possessive he gets when others look at him, or that time they were camping outside his house and he almost said it, had the words forming in his mouth, then lost his nerve and called Finn a douchebag.
Finn’s said it. In the heat of the moment, when he forgets Puck can’t accept that for now, when all he wants to do is tell Puck he loves him. So he does. And Puck, terrified, draws away.
But then he’s back, desperate again, but this time he wants to tell Finn the same words, but can’t. He can’t, so he kisses Finn instead. Cradles Finn’s face in his palms like the tiniest nudge could shatter Finn into pieces, shatter everything Puck has ever wanted so it’s never again the way it was. He stares at Finn, unreadable emotions swimming in his eyes, asking for something that Finn can’t understand.
Finn’s getting desperate, too. Desperate to destroy Puck’s desperation. Finn’s so unhinged, he starts forgetting how to put clothes on. Or when to eat. The songs he performs in Glee Club are always a little off, the words sometimes catching in his throat or just floating away from him. He comes to school with bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.
Puck asks him why, one day. In a way that sounds as if Finn’s depression is just a stupid annoyance he’d like to get rid of, yet there’s a tint of unease around his eyes, in the tone of voice he uses.
Finn brushes it off, blames it on some minor grievance, anything to keep Puck from knowing the truth. He’s not sure how Puck would feel if he learned it, but he’s not willing to find out.
Finally, one day, Puck’s had enough. He confronts Finn, says he won’t back down until Finn tells him what’s wrong. Why Finn’s leaving his pudding cup untouched.
Finn wants to play it down again, to ease Puck’s mind, but as he stares across the lunch table, he realises he’s already messed with Puck’s mind. He’s not eating a speck of food on his tray, even though it’s his favorite. And that’s when Finn realises he can’t hide this from Puck anymore. Finally, he says his piece. “I can’t figure out how to let you know I’ll never leave you like your dad did, can’t think of a way to let you know I love you unconditionally. I’m afraid something like this will break us apart, even though I couldn’t stand it.” Horrifyingly, as he’s staring down at his untouched pudding cup, Finn feels a raw clawing sensation at his throat and a few tears start to form at his eyelids.
Puck’s taken aback at this. He was expecting it to be about something, anything other than himself. As he watches Finn wipe a tear away from his eye, trying to do so inconspicuously (yet failing to do so), Puck suddenly feels an ache in his chest. He hates it when Finn cries. Especially when he’s the cause.
So he drags Finn out of the cafeteria, takes them to a deserted corner outside the school, and kisses Finn on the mouth in a simple, loving way that’s devoid of the desperation his kisses usually bring. Finn stares at Puck, clueless, a tear still resting on his cheek. Puck wipes it away before speaking. “I get it, Finn. I fucking get it. You’re not leaving me, you love me, I get all that shit. I lo…I’ll try to do better.”
Finn’s still staring. Puck shifts from foot to foot, self-conscious. “Fuck, alright!” he exclaims, startling Finn and a few birds near them. Puck lowers his voice, looking away. “I…goddammit. I fucking love you, alright, you fucking asshat,” he blurts out.
Finn’s shocked. He never expected that. He never thought Puck would be able to say those words, unless they were drugged out of him with truth serum. He finds it’s hard to keep back a wide grin, so he doesn’t. His cheeks hurt, he’s smiling so hard, but all he can do is wrap his arms around Puck’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispers against Puck’s ear, heart racing, “I love you too.”
Puck’s unable to come up with another insult, just holds Finn against him for a while. Finally, he pulls back, kissing Finn’s lips before punching Finn’s arm. “You’re such a homo,” Puck states before making his way back inside.
Finn shakes his head, smiling secretly to himself, as he follows Puck inside.
Author: andromedacain
Prompt #: Desperation
Prompt table: I
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing: Finn/Puck
Genre: Slash
Word count: 915
Disclamer: I will never own Glee.
Summary: Finn's worried about Puck.
When Puck kisses Finn, it’s always with a sort of desperation. Like every kiss might be their last.
He’s not exactly sure why. Finn has a feeling it might be because Puck’s father skipped out on him, creating a fear of abandonment that’s leaked into his regular day life. Finn’s assured Puck countless times that he’s never going to leave, that he doesn’t want to. Puck makes derogatory comments as almost a reflex action. Yet he’s gentler with Finn, after those words of encouragement, though he doesn’t seem to notice.
But the next day it’s back to desperate, passionate kisses. Finn’s not sure how to show Puck exactly how much he loves the shorter teen. He’s also not sure if Puck would admit his true feelings. Because no matter how cool he acts, or how mean he gets, or how many times he complains, Finn has no doubt in his mind that Puck loves him. It’s in the way Puck looks at him, or how possessive he gets when others look at him, or that time they were camping outside his house and he almost said it, had the words forming in his mouth, then lost his nerve and called Finn a douchebag.
Finn’s said it. In the heat of the moment, when he forgets Puck can’t accept that for now, when all he wants to do is tell Puck he loves him. So he does. And Puck, terrified, draws away.
But then he’s back, desperate again, but this time he wants to tell Finn the same words, but can’t. He can’t, so he kisses Finn instead. Cradles Finn’s face in his palms like the tiniest nudge could shatter Finn into pieces, shatter everything Puck has ever wanted so it’s never again the way it was. He stares at Finn, unreadable emotions swimming in his eyes, asking for something that Finn can’t understand.
Finn’s getting desperate, too. Desperate to destroy Puck’s desperation. Finn’s so unhinged, he starts forgetting how to put clothes on. Or when to eat. The songs he performs in Glee Club are always a little off, the words sometimes catching in his throat or just floating away from him. He comes to school with bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.
Puck asks him why, one day. In a way that sounds as if Finn’s depression is just a stupid annoyance he’d like to get rid of, yet there’s a tint of unease around his eyes, in the tone of voice he uses.
Finn brushes it off, blames it on some minor grievance, anything to keep Puck from knowing the truth. He’s not sure how Puck would feel if he learned it, but he’s not willing to find out.
Finally, one day, Puck’s had enough. He confronts Finn, says he won’t back down until Finn tells him what’s wrong. Why Finn’s leaving his pudding cup untouched.
Finn wants to play it down again, to ease Puck’s mind, but as he stares across the lunch table, he realises he’s already messed with Puck’s mind. He’s not eating a speck of food on his tray, even though it’s his favorite. And that’s when Finn realises he can’t hide this from Puck anymore. Finally, he says his piece. “I can’t figure out how to let you know I’ll never leave you like your dad did, can’t think of a way to let you know I love you unconditionally. I’m afraid something like this will break us apart, even though I couldn’t stand it.” Horrifyingly, as he’s staring down at his untouched pudding cup, Finn feels a raw clawing sensation at his throat and a few tears start to form at his eyelids.
Puck’s taken aback at this. He was expecting it to be about something, anything other than himself. As he watches Finn wipe a tear away from his eye, trying to do so inconspicuously (yet failing to do so), Puck suddenly feels an ache in his chest. He hates it when Finn cries. Especially when he’s the cause.
So he drags Finn out of the cafeteria, takes them to a deserted corner outside the school, and kisses Finn on the mouth in a simple, loving way that’s devoid of the desperation his kisses usually bring. Finn stares at Puck, clueless, a tear still resting on his cheek. Puck wipes it away before speaking. “I get it, Finn. I fucking get it. You’re not leaving me, you love me, I get all that shit. I lo…I’ll try to do better.”
Finn’s still staring. Puck shifts from foot to foot, self-conscious. “Fuck, alright!” he exclaims, startling Finn and a few birds near them. Puck lowers his voice, looking away. “I…goddammit. I fucking love you, alright, you fucking asshat,” he blurts out.
Finn’s shocked. He never expected that. He never thought Puck would be able to say those words, unless they were drugged out of him with truth serum. He finds it’s hard to keep back a wide grin, so he doesn’t. His cheeks hurt, he’s smiling so hard, but all he can do is wrap his arms around Puck’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispers against Puck’s ear, heart racing, “I love you too.”
Puck’s unable to come up with another insult, just holds Finn against him for a while. Finally, he pulls back, kissing Finn’s lips before punching Finn’s arm. “You’re such a homo,” Puck states before making his way back inside.
Finn shakes his head, smiling secretly to himself, as he follows Puck inside.