Why Me?
You know the feeling of being the first one to catch a red light after the countless cars in front of you have made it through? (When you're already late for school?) Or being the last kid the captain picks for his team? Or racing to the theater where your favorite movie is about to show, only to find all of the good seats taken? You get the idea!
Well, that feeling has crept under my skin a few times too many this year. The underlying question is, "Why me?" And I have been very tempted to entertain that discontenting thought lately... But whenever I am discontented, I have learned to press in until I am content - through prayer, through submitting to and abiding in the Lord, and through meditating on His Word. By His grace, I am no longer content with being discontent because it leads me to complacency - even to bitterness.
I take literally the verse, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Cor. 10:5).
As troubling thoughts of my future have threatened to take me captive, I have resolved to take them captive instead. I'd like to share one specific example from my life. If you know me, you know that I love good relationships more than anything. My relationship with Jesus Christ is the one I most cherish, though somehow loving Him more and more causes me to love others more and more. These relationships make my life worth living. Intimacy is my deepest delight, so of course this leads me to anticipate sharing my life with someone (though he remains a mystery still). However, even this sweet thought has troubled me due to fears and doubts... but if you know my Counselor and Comforter, you know that He does not let a single tear or drop of sweat fall pointlessly. The truth is that He uses all for His glory and our good, to which I pray the rest of this note will testify!
You could ask, "Why me?" because you were just fired. Someone else could ask, "Why me?" because he has cancer. I could ask, "Why me?" because I am not yet married. (I know I am young, but bear with me for the example's sake!) Well, through questioning and pressing on, the Lord has been faithful to grant me wisdom. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5).
I am convinced that every single girl that has ever existed has longed to be desirable and to be desired, especially by the one she desires. In other words, the desire to be desirable is best met in being most desired by the one she finds most desirable. Clear as mud? ;) So as long as Christ is most desirable to me, and I know that I am most desirable to Him, this longing to be desired is best met. If I had to choose between spending my life with Jesus or spending my life married, I guess I'd be single 'til death! God forbid that because getting married is at the top of my to-do-before-I-die list, but that was just to make a point! I have already found the One to whom my heart belongs, and it's not only for life but for eternity!
Most of us girls love to envision our prince and one true love before the fantasies of childhood escape us, but I think that only a very lucky few ever get to meet Him. And even some who do meet Him don't recognize Him as the real Prince until they see His Kingdom.
Through pressing in further still, I have not only considered the purpose of marriage, but I have adopted this perspective as my own perspective: that marriage is meant to glorify God through existing as a physically active and seen representation of the temporarily unseen betrothal of the church to Christ. A wife's respect and submission to her husband is to exemplify the church's adoration and submission to Christ, while a husband's love for his wife is to exemplify Christ's sacrificial love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
With this purpose of marriage in mind, I will be married on one condition: that we would bring more glory to God while together than we would while apart. Marriage is not necessarily to fall more in love with each other every day, but to daily cause each other to fall more in love with the Lord. I think the former will then take care of itself because as the two draw nearer to one thing, they can't but come closer to each other.
I have found this to be true in every relationship. Each of my most intimate and significant and fulfilling relationships has always been so according to its capacity to glorify God and depending on its ability to make me more like Christ. I have learned that a relationship is only as fulfilling as the glory it brings God and only as meaningful as the Christlike characteristics it forms in us. Afterall, I believe that God purposes everything for His greatest glory and our greatest good, as "we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory..." (2 Cor. 3:18), which I believe is our greatest good!
And yes, even more than I excitedly await my own wedding day do I anxiously anticipate the hour of consummation of our betrothal to the King! "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7).
Until that most glorious day, may I gladly endure every trial and hardship to come in order that I will be made ready not only for my lifelong husband, but ultimately for our eternal Husband! And for those who will inquire of me about my love life or non-existent sex life, my answer is that, "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit." (1 Cor. 7:34).
Yes, I have resolved to be fully devoted to the Lord, for I have stumbled onto the grounds of a Kingdom much greater than my own! It sobers me to admit that the fleshly part of me wishes I'd never glimpsed such glory or felt such purpose or known such love, because I know I must now be crucified to my own kingdom. But my spirit yearns for this far greater Kingdom to come! Today, this Kingdom seems so hidden and its King so distant, but only because we are so blind! Glimpse Him in the eyes of the righteous! Hear Him in the cries of the saints! Feel Him within the walls of a joyful church and in the halls of a godly house! Find Him in the hearts of His beloved! Embrace Him in the arms of the poor! Hold Him in the hands of His children! See Him in the lives of the broken being restored! Read Him in the stories of the lost that have been found! Touch Him by the bodies He has raised from the dead! And know Him in the pages of His Word. The Kingdom is coming and the King is near!
I am just as worried as I am hopeful for my generation, and for myself...that we might compromise His Kingdom to build our castles in the sand. The thought brings me to tears...I know it is expected of me to get married and to live in a comfortable house and to go to a nice church and to raise a cute little family, and I would have happily continued on with that life as my greatest aim as long as I remained ignorant of a life even better! And not that I consider anything wrong with that life, but at the cost of the Kingdom it is a tragedy! "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8).
The question is not, "Why me?" but "Why not me?" Who else can reach a lost world but the arms of the body of Christ? And who else remains as the body of Christ but we the church? Christ in us is the world's only hope...there is no one else!
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" (Romans 10:14).
May we answer like the apostle Paul, "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to [wherever He leads me], not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." (Acts 20:22-24).
Well, that feeling has crept under my skin a few times too many this year. The underlying question is, "Why me?" And I have been very tempted to entertain that discontenting thought lately... But whenever I am discontented, I have learned to press in until I am content - through prayer, through submitting to and abiding in the Lord, and through meditating on His Word. By His grace, I am no longer content with being discontent because it leads me to complacency - even to bitterness.
I take literally the verse, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Cor. 10:5).
As troubling thoughts of my future have threatened to take me captive, I have resolved to take them captive instead. I'd like to share one specific example from my life. If you know me, you know that I love good relationships more than anything. My relationship with Jesus Christ is the one I most cherish, though somehow loving Him more and more causes me to love others more and more. These relationships make my life worth living. Intimacy is my deepest delight, so of course this leads me to anticipate sharing my life with someone (though he remains a mystery still). However, even this sweet thought has troubled me due to fears and doubts... but if you know my Counselor and Comforter, you know that He does not let a single tear or drop of sweat fall pointlessly. The truth is that He uses all for His glory and our good, to which I pray the rest of this note will testify!
You could ask, "Why me?" because you were just fired. Someone else could ask, "Why me?" because he has cancer. I could ask, "Why me?" because I am not yet married. (I know I am young, but bear with me for the example's sake!) Well, through questioning and pressing on, the Lord has been faithful to grant me wisdom. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5).
I am convinced that every single girl that has ever existed has longed to be desirable and to be desired, especially by the one she desires. In other words, the desire to be desirable is best met in being most desired by the one she finds most desirable. Clear as mud? ;) So as long as Christ is most desirable to me, and I know that I am most desirable to Him, this longing to be desired is best met. If I had to choose between spending my life with Jesus or spending my life married, I guess I'd be single 'til death! God forbid that because getting married is at the top of my to-do-before-I-die list, but that was just to make a point! I have already found the One to whom my heart belongs, and it's not only for life but for eternity!
Most of us girls love to envision our prince and one true love before the fantasies of childhood escape us, but I think that only a very lucky few ever get to meet Him. And even some who do meet Him don't recognize Him as the real Prince until they see His Kingdom.
Through pressing in further still, I have not only considered the purpose of marriage, but I have adopted this perspective as my own perspective: that marriage is meant to glorify God through existing as a physically active and seen representation of the temporarily unseen betrothal of the church to Christ. A wife's respect and submission to her husband is to exemplify the church's adoration and submission to Christ, while a husband's love for his wife is to exemplify Christ's sacrificial love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
With this purpose of marriage in mind, I will be married on one condition: that we would bring more glory to God while together than we would while apart. Marriage is not necessarily to fall more in love with each other every day, but to daily cause each other to fall more in love with the Lord. I think the former will then take care of itself because as the two draw nearer to one thing, they can't but come closer to each other.
I have found this to be true in every relationship. Each of my most intimate and significant and fulfilling relationships has always been so according to its capacity to glorify God and depending on its ability to make me more like Christ. I have learned that a relationship is only as fulfilling as the glory it brings God and only as meaningful as the Christlike characteristics it forms in us. Afterall, I believe that God purposes everything for His greatest glory and our greatest good, as "we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory..." (2 Cor. 3:18), which I believe is our greatest good!
And yes, even more than I excitedly await my own wedding day do I anxiously anticipate the hour of consummation of our betrothal to the King! "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7).
Until that most glorious day, may I gladly endure every trial and hardship to come in order that I will be made ready not only for my lifelong husband, but ultimately for our eternal Husband! And for those who will inquire of me about my love life or non-existent sex life, my answer is that, "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit." (1 Cor. 7:34).
Yes, I have resolved to be fully devoted to the Lord, for I have stumbled onto the grounds of a Kingdom much greater than my own! It sobers me to admit that the fleshly part of me wishes I'd never glimpsed such glory or felt such purpose or known such love, because I know I must now be crucified to my own kingdom. But my spirit yearns for this far greater Kingdom to come! Today, this Kingdom seems so hidden and its King so distant, but only because we are so blind! Glimpse Him in the eyes of the righteous! Hear Him in the cries of the saints! Feel Him within the walls of a joyful church and in the halls of a godly house! Find Him in the hearts of His beloved! Embrace Him in the arms of the poor! Hold Him in the hands of His children! See Him in the lives of the broken being restored! Read Him in the stories of the lost that have been found! Touch Him by the bodies He has raised from the dead! And know Him in the pages of His Word. The Kingdom is coming and the King is near!
I am just as worried as I am hopeful for my generation, and for myself...that we might compromise His Kingdom to build our castles in the sand. The thought brings me to tears...I know it is expected of me to get married and to live in a comfortable house and to go to a nice church and to raise a cute little family, and I would have happily continued on with that life as my greatest aim as long as I remained ignorant of a life even better! And not that I consider anything wrong with that life, but at the cost of the Kingdom it is a tragedy! "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8).
The question is not, "Why me?" but "Why not me?" Who else can reach a lost world but the arms of the body of Christ? And who else remains as the body of Christ but we the church? Christ in us is the world's only hope...there is no one else!
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" (Romans 10:14).
May we answer like the apostle Paul, "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to [wherever He leads me], not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." (Acts 20:22-24).