And if You Just Asked me, I'd Tell You the Truth
Ok, I was searching through my sentbox on yahoo (did you know it keeps EVERYTHING?) and came across this poem I wrote for WWP (Westland Writing Project) freshman year (was that really so long ago?) and I thought I might share it with you, since I can't with my mother:
OUT
I was hoping to be out at fifteen
and not leave to eat dinner with
half of me still in the closet
upstairs.
I wanted to hold her hand and maybe even
kiss her and still be able to look my
mother in the eye when I came home.
I wanted everyone to hear about
the boy crushing on me in fifth
period and have it be ok that
I decline because I already have a girlfriend.
I wanted her to meet my parents
without them flinching when our
fingers touched. I wanted to scream
to the world that I love her.
But if that hope is too naiive, then
I want to forget her and let her
forget me, and go back to the
boy in fifth period with the open arms.
And my mother can look at me again.
But I'm too afraid to open my mouth
and my mother too blind to open her eyes
and sometimes I wish she would unlock
my closet and find me curled in a ball
with wet hands and wet face and pull
me into her arms and tell me she loves me.
OUT
I was hoping to be out at fifteen
and not leave to eat dinner with
half of me still in the closet
upstairs.
I wanted to hold her hand and maybe even
kiss her and still be able to look my
mother in the eye when I came home.
I wanted everyone to hear about
the boy crushing on me in fifth
period and have it be ok that
I decline because I already have a girlfriend.
I wanted her to meet my parents
without them flinching when our
fingers touched. I wanted to scream
to the world that I love her.
But if that hope is too naiive, then
I want to forget her and let her
forget me, and go back to the
boy in fifth period with the open arms.
And my mother can look at me again.
But I'm too afraid to open my mouth
and my mother too blind to open her eyes
and sometimes I wish she would unlock
my closet and find me curled in a ball
with wet hands and wet face and pull
me into her arms and tell me she loves me.