(no subject)
Customer: I want to return this mouse.
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you'll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won't.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.
Girl arguing her bad translation is correct: Wait, this sentence says, 'I am... To be... Entered'!
Undergrad #1: A computer man! You gotta get your e-mail.
Undergrad #2: A computer?! If you're homeless, a computer is the least of your worries. There are more important things you would need, like food and crack.
Outside Enterprise Hall, George Mason University
Virginia
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.
Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks... Oh, you said 'deck.'
Amateur musicologist: Paul McCartney had a band before Wings?
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it's so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it's too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can't I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
Drunk guy: Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead.
Drunk girl: What's that mean?
Drunk guy: It's an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That's French toast.
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly...
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don't you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]
Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers...
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you'll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won't.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.
Girl arguing her bad translation is correct: Wait, this sentence says, 'I am... To be... Entered'!
Undergrad #1: A computer man! You gotta get your e-mail.
Undergrad #2: A computer?! If you're homeless, a computer is the least of your worries. There are more important things you would need, like food and crack.
Outside Enterprise Hall, George Mason University
Virginia
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.
Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks... Oh, you said 'deck.'
Amateur musicologist: Paul McCartney had a band before Wings?
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it's so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it's too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can't I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
Drunk guy: Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead.
Drunk girl: What's that mean?
Drunk guy: It's an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That's French toast.
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly...
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don't you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]
Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers...