Flaws
“Familiarity breeds contempt. Knowing a man’s flaws and faults apparently lessens their credibility of being an effective leader. I was an idiot to once believe that, as my Joongie always likes to point out. I remember when he had asked me why I loved him as much as I did and he insisted I write all the reasons that have ever crossed my mind.
The very next day, I proudly presented two pages, front and back, of detailed explanations and even added some examples. Thinking I would get extremely lucky that night, I put a lot of effort into those two pages. Right in front of me, Jaejoong took out a red pen and began ticking off my list.
His words verbatim were, “Brush dirt off your shoulders? Cook soup for you when you’re sick? Listen to you when you want? Those are reasons why I’m your best friend. My eyes are pretty? I have nice skin? I have a lithe, slender body? Those are reasons why you’d want to fuck me. Make another list, Yunnie. One that states why you love me, more than you could anybody else.”
I was mad. I was shocked. I was disappointed. I had walked away with my shoulders slumped to seek solitude. The things that I had written were exactly alike to what I’ve said in interviews before and my fans have always lapped it up. Why didn’t Jaejoong?
That night, I stayed up in the office I shared with my lover. Hours passed by of me just staring at a blank piece of paper, pen hovering yet unmoving over it. A fleeting thought had crossed my mind; did I really love him then? If my reasons could be said of my relationship with anyone else then could that mean our love isn’t as ideal as I always deemed it to be?
Without much thought, I scribbled, ‘You talk before thinking.’ I used to abhor that habit of his, but I grew to appreciate it. It was an extension of his honesty, and only proved to solidify my trust in him. Quick to follow, I wrote, ’You don’t return stuff after you borrow them.’ Next to it, I drew a replica of my favorite black shirt that had fallen victim to Jaejoong’s thieving. I never got to wear it again after I had lent it to him. We had been going at it in a restroom backstage and his t-shirt had gotten lost amidst the hurried kisses and wanton moans. Having worn a flimsy tank top underneath, I had given him my precious shirt to protect him from Tokyo’s winter night. Admitted that it looked ten times better on him than it ever had on me, I still missed it.
On a roll, I added, ‘You can get really harsh when it comes to criticizing our singing.’ When it came to dancing, I knew I could be ten times harder on the other members but still. Jaejoong pushed me to be the singer I am today. Even through the times that some dubbed me as merely a dancer that could carry a tune well enough, Jaejoong would keep reminding me that he was once tone deaf and that if he had listened blindly to the criticisms instead of soaking them in and learning from them, Dong Bang Shin Ki would have never happened.
I continued on without faltering, enumerating all the pet-peeves I harbored for my lover. Illustrations on the margins and side comments in between the gaps, I managed to fill three pages just as soon as dawn illuminated the house. I had stayed up all night, too immersed in my writings to notice the time fly by. Putting the finishing touches, Jaejoong came into the room to tell me to catch some rest while he prepared breakfast. I couldn’t help but notice he was clad in my black shirt and silk red boxers with Cassiopeia printed at the rear.
Peeking over my shoulders, he saw the list that I had labeled, ‘Flaws’ and I waited in fear for his reaction. He leaned down and kissed my mop of hair. I asked why. He said, “Love is realizing that someone has their flaws, and loving them despite it.”
To which I whispered, “I do.”
I lusted after Jaejoong when I saw him. I befriended him when I got to know his personality. And I loved him when I realized that he was human with faults, just like me. Funny thing is, his list had…”
Mina marked the page of herbook, deciding to turn in for the night. She had a long day ahead of her and she could read more during the hour long trip on the bus to work. Turning off the lamp, she placed her copy of A YunJae Autobiography: One Love, One Lifetime on the night stand, silently praying that she may one day be blessed with a YunJae love of her own.
A/N: Ehh...don't be so hard on the criticisms. I did it in... like... 20 minutes. =P
The very next day, I proudly presented two pages, front and back, of detailed explanations and even added some examples. Thinking I would get extremely lucky that night, I put a lot of effort into those two pages. Right in front of me, Jaejoong took out a red pen and began ticking off my list.
His words verbatim were, “Brush dirt off your shoulders? Cook soup for you when you’re sick? Listen to you when you want? Those are reasons why I’m your best friend. My eyes are pretty? I have nice skin? I have a lithe, slender body? Those are reasons why you’d want to fuck me. Make another list, Yunnie. One that states why you love me, more than you could anybody else.”
I was mad. I was shocked. I was disappointed. I had walked away with my shoulders slumped to seek solitude. The things that I had written were exactly alike to what I’ve said in interviews before and my fans have always lapped it up. Why didn’t Jaejoong?
That night, I stayed up in the office I shared with my lover. Hours passed by of me just staring at a blank piece of paper, pen hovering yet unmoving over it. A fleeting thought had crossed my mind; did I really love him then? If my reasons could be said of my relationship with anyone else then could that mean our love isn’t as ideal as I always deemed it to be?
Without much thought, I scribbled, ‘You talk before thinking.’ I used to abhor that habit of his, but I grew to appreciate it. It was an extension of his honesty, and only proved to solidify my trust in him. Quick to follow, I wrote, ’You don’t return stuff after you borrow them.’ Next to it, I drew a replica of my favorite black shirt that had fallen victim to Jaejoong’s thieving. I never got to wear it again after I had lent it to him. We had been going at it in a restroom backstage and his t-shirt had gotten lost amidst the hurried kisses and wanton moans. Having worn a flimsy tank top underneath, I had given him my precious shirt to protect him from Tokyo’s winter night. Admitted that it looked ten times better on him than it ever had on me, I still missed it.
On a roll, I added, ‘You can get really harsh when it comes to criticizing our singing.’ When it came to dancing, I knew I could be ten times harder on the other members but still. Jaejoong pushed me to be the singer I am today. Even through the times that some dubbed me as merely a dancer that could carry a tune well enough, Jaejoong would keep reminding me that he was once tone deaf and that if he had listened blindly to the criticisms instead of soaking them in and learning from them, Dong Bang Shin Ki would have never happened.
I continued on without faltering, enumerating all the pet-peeves I harbored for my lover. Illustrations on the margins and side comments in between the gaps, I managed to fill three pages just as soon as dawn illuminated the house. I had stayed up all night, too immersed in my writings to notice the time fly by. Putting the finishing touches, Jaejoong came into the room to tell me to catch some rest while he prepared breakfast. I couldn’t help but notice he was clad in my black shirt and silk red boxers with Cassiopeia printed at the rear.
Peeking over my shoulders, he saw the list that I had labeled, ‘Flaws’ and I waited in fear for his reaction. He leaned down and kissed my mop of hair. I asked why. He said, “Love is realizing that someone has their flaws, and loving them despite it.”
To which I whispered, “I do.”
I lusted after Jaejoong when I saw him. I befriended him when I got to know his personality. And I loved him when I realized that he was human with faults, just like me. Funny thing is, his list had…”
Mina marked the page of herbook, deciding to turn in for the night. She had a long day ahead of her and she could read more during the hour long trip on the bus to work. Turning off the lamp, she placed her copy of A YunJae Autobiography: One Love, One Lifetime on the night stand, silently praying that she may one day be blessed with a YunJae love of her own.
A/N: Ehh...don't be so hard on the criticisms. I did it in... like... 20 minutes. =P