You Don't Get to Take it Back
On again, off again.
Moody, critical, sensitive, and overly intellectual.
But I made excuses for you over and over.
I read beyond what you said and interpreted what I thought you meant.
So much effort for so little acceptance.
It was unfair.
And I didn't want to admit that.
But even your apologies are loose and meaningless when you assert a lack of falsity.
I don't want to be anxious about you, or us or where we stand.
I don't want to feel inadequate, or like a disappointment.
I don't want to chase you anymore.
So I said we needed to stop trying.
Now today you call with curiosity to what I want or need from you.
Too late.
I deserve better from myself than to think I should have to earn your love.
I am already enough.
I can become more, and I will.
But not for you. Or the reasons you believe I should.