[Fanfiction] "Lionheart"
Title: Lionheart
Fandom: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, introspection
Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG
Status: Complete, One shot
Summary: Kissing Cas didn't turn his world upside down, but it did give him an unprecedented measure of clarity.
Kissing Cas didn't turn his world upside down. But it did give him an unprecedented measure of clarity.
If the Apocalypse has taught Dean Winchester anything about living, it is that life is flawed. Always has been, always will be. Perhaps it is inherent through design, or simply a matter of perspective. Whatever the case, Dean has no false hopes.
He hopes for something resembling happiness for Sam and for himself, but each passing year tears them further from it. Nor does he believe that any heavenly force may come along and set the world right. For all their disdain of humankind, Dean has found angels to be awfully similar in character and motivation to ordinary men.
And God. Well, he has no illusions there. In his opinion, a perfect God would have stopped that pissing match between Lucifer and Michael from ever happening. A perfect God would not have allowed his family to be torn asunder for the sake of destiny. A perfect God would have answered.
Besides, he thought with much annoyance, Dean isn't sure what sort of God would create such singleminded, wrathful archangels like the ones he'd encountered since Cas dragged his ass out of Hell.
His eyes flickered towards the other side of the bed. Castiel lay unmoving beneath a thin sheet, his eyes closed and expression solemn even in slumber. If nothing else, Cas is the exception to whatever rules Heaven tries to enforce. Dean understands that, is grateful for it.
Because if he had to choose one thing- just one damned thing- that could be described as approaching perfection, it would have to be the courage that Castiel possesses.
Michael was driven by a sense of duty, Lucifer by pride. Sorrow drove Gabriel into hiding, much like self-righteousness moved Raphael to make a bid for command of Heaven.
None of that compares, Dean thinks, to what Cas is. There is nothing common about the courage that let Castiel dare to defy the Heavenly Host. There is nothing ordinary about the bravery he must have drawn upon to rebel against his own kind and throw in with the Winchesters.
He wonders if this is a perk of free will. Or perhaps Cas has always been different from his counterparts. Free will was a foreign concept to all angels, but it seemed the ability embrace it was unique and integral to the Angel of Thursday.
Surely it is free will that guided the angel to rebellion, just as surely that it was loyalty that kept him at Dean's side.
And thus it must have been courage that let Castiel draw Dean close and finally express what he lacked in words with lips and tongue and tentative touches.