(no subject)
It's always so trivial, isn't it.
Anything that I ever get upset about, anything that ever pisses me off, anything that ever hurts me is always so fucking trivial it's not funny.
Me : When we move to the new house, I'm just going to stay in my room with my new computer and never come out. Save your fucking husband going at me for everything.
Sister : Right, and I lose the only family I have, great plan.
Sister : Oh, by the way, I'm moving to Palmerston North.
For some reason, the fact I'm crushed means nothing. The fact I can't save to go on the trip that was never going to eventuate means .. yes, you guessed it, absolutely. fucking. nothing.
And no, it's not going to happen, so don't start with the speech about how it's going to take time, but you don't want me to give up hope. Because you know what ? I have.
When Dino said etc etc etc, and made me feel wanted ? The only person who cared was Sarah. She was the only one who didn't say something along the lines of 'He's on the rebound, and it doesn't mean anything.' It doesn't really matter if he is, y'know, since it would never go anywhere, but does anyone really want to hear that ? To hear that the first person to acknowledge them as actually not being asexual in months is just going through a rough patch and latching onto the first thing they can reach ?
But oh yeah. I feel great.
I am so fucking tired of being replaceable.
I am so fucking tired of hearing that I actually do have feelings for Jase, and the moment I end up meeting him, something will happen.
I just don't care anymore.
You want to use me as a bit of fun on the rebound ? Go ahead. Noone will care.
Want to amuse yourself by trying to hook me up with someone ? Same answer applies.
Want to make me feel useless and unwanted ? Too late honey, already there.
And you know what's really funny ?
I actually had a good day.