So where was I?
Oh, yeah, Jonah. Jonah's not doing awesome, to be frank. He's 11.5 and while puberty seems to be about a million miles away (please, God), he's becoming increasingly aggressive and paranoid. He seems to think people are trying to hurt him or take his stuff or keep secrets from him or whatever. Some of that sort of thing is neurotypical, I know. Some of it isn't. Also it's more difficult because Jonah's not what you'd call "in touch with his feelings" on a good day. He's not especially aware that he has feelings, really. So these paranoid statements only come out when he's upset and he doesn't really know he's upset until he's about to blow. So are these delusions just a product of being really mad or are they there all the time and they only come out when he's low on verbal control. I don't know and I can't figure out how to find out. When he's not freaking out (which is a vast majority of the time) he's as sweet as he could be. But 2 or 3 times a month he isn't. And then he's not.
But isn't he getting oodles of therapies? Yes, he is. He has a therapist who doesn't actually seem to be a waste of good carbon, he has occupational therapy which is making a tremendous difference in his day to day functional abilities. He sees a psychiatrist once every 3 months even though he's not on any meds right now and he even has therapeutic riding lessons at a local stable which is mostly fun. I can't say as it's done much but it's a nice gentle sports-like involvement. But as I'm learning, all of those therapies and any others he'd get are about 100% based and determined off my reports because he's unable to self-report anything at all. What I say or do not say impacts the course of everything. If I get it wrong (as I have in the past) and under-report something because I don't think it's a big deal, he doesn't get treatment for something. If I over-report stuff he'll find himself on every med known to modern man. So I need to figure out what's going on so I can tell the professionals and then they can (maybe) act on it. I really, really, really don't like this system. I understand that there's really no other way to do it, but I'm not a reliable reporter and Duane's worse.
Our home (minus the houseguests right now) is pretty much perfect for a kid like Jonah. I'm not patting myself on the back too much; it comes largely from my own doggedness and the freedom I have to control aspects of our world. It probably also doesn't hurt much that, ah, apples don't fall too far from trees, if you catch my drift. As a homemaker, I'm largely responsible for the logistics of the house and they're highly favorable for people like Jonah. Very calm, quiet, regular and tidy. Nobody fights with or yells at anybody else regularly, etc. Interesting things going on all the time. Kids are respected as people and required to respect adults as well. It's a nice place to live. So he seems pretty good at home. But he seems pretty not good outside the home. 2 weeks ago he got about an inch and a half from a fist fight in Sunday School. The teacher had to physically get between him and another boy. Now, dear audience of zero, is that reaction to be seen as normative in Jonah? Is it the "real Jonah" which comes out when under slight stress and when things aren't optimal for him? Or is it that he's a hot-house flower who lacks coping skills because he's not in school? Because that's not exactly a psychiatric problem, but the first one is. Add to the mix that he's been in the public schools for 2 years and never developed coping skill #1. He wound up being hospitalized because of a lack of those skills.
So I tell the therapist about the Sunday School incident (also noting that the other kid isn't exactly neurotypical either, public schooled, though, and his "coping skills" are more of the aggressive variety) and she asks me what was under it? And how the hell should I know? But if I don't know, how is she supposed to know? So none of us know but in the helping establishment you can't sit with uncertainty at all. It's not acceptable, everything must be known. So a judgement is made and if I, who ostensibly has the most information, don't tell them I think something serious is going on, the judgement is that it's not a big deal and all is well. A little blame for homeschooling could get thrown in there, too. I'll talk more about that later, but it's a doozy of an issue. If I tell them that it's a problem, everything is kicked up a notch. In this case, I told them I think it's something because the risk of telling them that it's nothing seemed to outweigh the risk of "something". But honest to goodness, I have no idea if it's something or not and a risk/benefit analysis seems to be a terrible method of psychiatric reporting.
Next time: homeschooling!
But isn't he getting oodles of therapies? Yes, he is. He has a therapist who doesn't actually seem to be a waste of good carbon, he has occupational therapy which is making a tremendous difference in his day to day functional abilities. He sees a psychiatrist once every 3 months even though he's not on any meds right now and he even has therapeutic riding lessons at a local stable which is mostly fun. I can't say as it's done much but it's a nice gentle sports-like involvement. But as I'm learning, all of those therapies and any others he'd get are about 100% based and determined off my reports because he's unable to self-report anything at all. What I say or do not say impacts the course of everything. If I get it wrong (as I have in the past) and under-report something because I don't think it's a big deal, he doesn't get treatment for something. If I over-report stuff he'll find himself on every med known to modern man. So I need to figure out what's going on so I can tell the professionals and then they can (maybe) act on it. I really, really, really don't like this system. I understand that there's really no other way to do it, but I'm not a reliable reporter and Duane's worse.
Our home (minus the houseguests right now) is pretty much perfect for a kid like Jonah. I'm not patting myself on the back too much; it comes largely from my own doggedness and the freedom I have to control aspects of our world. It probably also doesn't hurt much that, ah, apples don't fall too far from trees, if you catch my drift. As a homemaker, I'm largely responsible for the logistics of the house and they're highly favorable for people like Jonah. Very calm, quiet, regular and tidy. Nobody fights with or yells at anybody else regularly, etc. Interesting things going on all the time. Kids are respected as people and required to respect adults as well. It's a nice place to live. So he seems pretty good at home. But he seems pretty not good outside the home. 2 weeks ago he got about an inch and a half from a fist fight in Sunday School. The teacher had to physically get between him and another boy. Now, dear audience of zero, is that reaction to be seen as normative in Jonah? Is it the "real Jonah" which comes out when under slight stress and when things aren't optimal for him? Or is it that he's a hot-house flower who lacks coping skills because he's not in school? Because that's not exactly a psychiatric problem, but the first one is. Add to the mix that he's been in the public schools for 2 years and never developed coping skill #1. He wound up being hospitalized because of a lack of those skills.
So I tell the therapist about the Sunday School incident (also noting that the other kid isn't exactly neurotypical either, public schooled, though, and his "coping skills" are more of the aggressive variety) and she asks me what was under it? And how the hell should I know? But if I don't know, how is she supposed to know? So none of us know but in the helping establishment you can't sit with uncertainty at all. It's not acceptable, everything must be known. So a judgement is made and if I, who ostensibly has the most information, don't tell them I think something serious is going on, the judgement is that it's not a big deal and all is well. A little blame for homeschooling could get thrown in there, too. I'll talk more about that later, but it's a doozy of an issue. If I tell them that it's a problem, everything is kicked up a notch. In this case, I told them I think it's something because the risk of telling them that it's nothing seemed to outweigh the risk of "something". But honest to goodness, I have no idea if it's something or not and a risk/benefit analysis seems to be a terrible method of psychiatric reporting.
Next time: homeschooling!