Durarara!! poem/parody: Hey There Izaya

Sep 19, 2013 20:58

I read a fanfic the other day in which Shizuo said “Hey, Izaya.” And somehow from that one line came this. I’m so sorry.
I know some lines are a bit rougher than others; please ignore them. This song’s rhythm is weird sometimes. [/excuses]
No copyright infringement is intended. I do not own the song “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s.


Hey There, Izaya

Hey there, Izaya, you stand still and let me hit you.
Nine long years of this and I’m so done
And you’re still causing chaos like you do.
No one quite angers me like you, you know it’s true.

Hey there, Izaya, I’ve told you to keep your distance.
Stay the hell out of ‘bukuro-I’ll find you if you don’t listen.
Drop that grin. Listen to my voice, I’ll count to ten,
Then bash it in.

Ohh it’s what you do to me
Ohh Izaya you’re a flea
Ohh you are such a creep
Ohh Izaya you’re a flea
Such a freakin’ flea

Hey there, Izaya, I know you enjoy the chase
But just believe me, flea, someday I’ll catch
And beat your freakin’ face.
I’ll have it good. I’ll have the peace I know I would.
We understood?

Hey there, Izaya, I’ve got so much pent-up rage.
If every street sign that I threw at you
Would take your breath away, I’d throw them all.
Vending machines from the sky would fall.
I’d toss them all.

Ohh it’s what you do to me
Ohh Izaya you’re a flea
Ohh you are such a creep
Ohh Izaya you’re a flea

But Shinjuku is still too near
And if I ever have to hear
Your voice again I think I’ll go insane.
Our friends all sigh and lecture us
But we’ll just keep on fighting ‘cause
I know that none of them have felt this rage.

So hold still, let me pummel you
And by the time that I get through
Your face will never ever be the same.
And you’re to blame.

Hey there, Izaya, stay away and don’t come near me.
One more glimpse of that stupid fur trim
And I’ll be throwing street signs like I do.
You know it’s all because of you.
You can’t do whatever you want to!
Hey there, Izaya, you’re a douche.
This hit’s for you.

Ohh it’s what you do to me
Ohh Izaya you’re a flea
Ohh you are such a creep
Ohh Izaya you’re a flea
Such a freakin’ flea.
OhhhARRGGHHH!
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